i’m more for trying things twice…

just in case something went wrong the first time 😯

Yep, those require a bit of practice to get the hang of

I met my lovely other half on e-Harmony almost four years ago.

I met up with a couple of others before we finally met, but I knew straight away I would cancel my membership once we had agreed to meet up a second time.

We actually cancelled out membership together 🙂 (it was dead romantic….. honest )

Babble over.

I should say that I’ve done alright from internet dating, but probably the best lass I met was when I was on the rebound. She **** off eventually when I wouldn’t commit! Anyway, the single life ain’t bad 🙂

i met my OH via ID, 6 years on we are still together, before we met i had loads of dates and got a bit addicted to the “first date” and the adrenalin rush you get, so much so i had one weekend with 3 separate dates. i must explain this was after 20+ years with the same woman and after we split i unleashed myself, maybe just to prove i could still do it, i was like a kid in a sweet shop trying all the flavours. After about 6 months though it got boring and i went for quality not quantity.
i will say that honesty is the best policy, never pretend to be something you are not, you will get found out, be yourself and have a sense of humour and don’t take yourself or the process too seriously

@Flowerpower, get yourself onto Trailscotland or http://www.meetup.com/Central-Scotland-MTB-Group/ to meet hunks like me (other men may be available) :lol:, quite often group rides in your area.

I met Mrs Ed on a dating site – my tips

be careful with the options on the profile, you want to include everything so that the sites don’t try and filter for you

message as many as you can (it’s easy to spot desperate or mental from the profile, just trust your instinct)

write your own profile as though you don’t really need a date

don’t try to be a comedian as you’ll end up looking like colin hunt from the fast show

avoid the cliches – ‘I prefer the pub to the telly’ is the best antidote to the usual wine/dvd/going out/staying in nonsense, don’t make the profile too long

2 or 3 photos max, one strong head and shoulders with a pale background (not a nightclub shot or one with your mates in) and one with you out on your bike, shows that you are in good physical condition and have a life not a saddo

don’t write the words ‘i’m looking for’ cos it’s an excuse for the other person to filter

until you’re on date no2 keep messaging and scanning, keep irons in the fire 🙂 this is ok to do online
playing hide the sausage and checking your email isn’t acceptable !

@grey – I am (TrailScotland – and my user name gives it away 😉 ) only made one ride so far… and nearly drowned, but yes, a really nice bunch of guys… will say hi when I see you!

I think I have just got meyself a date!

Had to turn down the invite… puffer weekend innit, but she seems happy to postpone.

Woohoo Josh 🙂

Had to turn down the invite

She made the first move and you..

Had to turn down the invite… puffer weekend innit

..seriously?!

but she seems happy to postpone.

Trust me, she isn’t.

Sort it out 😉

I had a good go at it about 13 years ago, pre PoF. I meet an interesting cross section with some good results. One particular nurse I met become so addicted to the whole thing that 13 years on she is still at it 😐 If she ever wrote a book it would be a best seller but I dread to think how many blokes would be running for cover !

I met my missus online but was on a forum (not stw)rather than specifically looking for someone, 5yrs and 2kids later I couldn’t be more filled with remorse happy

bearnecessities, its cool she knew what i was up to, thanks for your concern though 🙂

Whether you met online or offline I don’t think you can expect exclusivity after a few dates unless both of you agree to it.

If they go out with friends and score that night it’s the same as picking up another date online. Some people are faster to respond than others so you don’t even have to be actively looking, they could have expressed an interest before they did so in you, or someone else expresses an interest in you since afterall your profile is available to view. Depending on the site you can possibly see how active they are from when they last logged in or if they’ve hidden/closed their profile.

In a practical sense though it only gets more difficult to remember what conversations were had with whom and who likes what, so you can’t juggle too many options at the same time.

Once I got more experienced at online dating though I had a ball. The main message of my profile was let’s meet before we’ve set too many expectations of each other. It was quite a long time ago and less socially acceptable then, so it should be easier now. Gen Y seem to have no qualms about it at all.

Whether you met online or offline I don’t think you can expect exclusivity after a few dates unless both of you agree to it.

Really – i think what it shows is that people have different expectations and the key is to discuss them – some would call that being a “player”.
Personally i would not be “trial dating” anyone who thought it ok to cop off with someone else as i am not sure in what sense you are dating tbh.
I accept not everyone agrees and i would prefer to just not “date” those people as they are not for me. Its a free world they can do as they please but i guess it depends on whether you want a relationship or a bit of fun for a bit. the later has less expectations but again its not for me.

I dont really care what others want to do and if you are happy with it fine but you need to be honest from the start.

I joined Tinder to see what that was all about. I liked a load of women and had zero matches in 4 days. I think I am going to give up on this online stuff and concentrate on my bikes.

@Rocketdog – you amateur, I had 3 dates in a day – brunch, lunch and evening on a sunday. All at different `dating pubs’ I’d established around the west midlands. It was tough going fitting them in with the driving but the evening one is the now Mrs Scamper 😳 😀

Scamper, does Mrs Scamper know that you’re a drink-driving manwhore? 😀

Junkyard, that’s fine, we’re all entitled to own views, and really since you’d already clearly stated your position my comments weren’t really directed at you, but at those who consider there’s a threshold where it’s acceptable up to a unknown point. I said unless there’s agreement, you said it should be honestly discussed, which rather suggests that we both think you can’t expect exclusivity until it’s communicated.

@ Junkyard & londonerinoz – thanks guys – it does just go to show that different people have different views. I guess I just have to be more upfront about asking in future.

As I mentioned in my original question, I don’t think that the guy involved was ‘wrong’, it was just that I was unaware and so felt a bit caught out when I discovered there were others so far down the line. Have learnt my lesson 🙂

I have only ever got to meet girls through online dating. My most recent (if you have seen my breakup thread) was on PoF. I instantly knew she was genuine, and she only answered to my second message. We chatted for 4 days and then decided to meet. Thought she was the one – still do – but it’s only a one way street at the minute. I also meet my first girlfriend who I was engaged too and was with for 6 1/2 years on Faceparty.

I don’t think I could ever try online dating again.

Maybe it’s not for you currently st colin, but in these palpably hard times for you, maybe consider for the future that you’ve actually been quite successful in forming long term relationships from online dating rather than negating yourself.

you said it should be honestly discussed, which rather suggests that we both think you can’t expect exclusivity until it’s communicated

I think you can if you pick correctly tbh, that said yes I checked so you are probably correct.
flower its a bumpy road but worth it in the end, live and learn

I am more surprised he asked you as his back up plan. Did he really expect a wow that would be lovely – IMHO you dodged a bullet there so be grateful.

@Flowerpower, never thought to search your username, i will now go away and have a stalk :lol:.

There’s lots……. None that appear to be that far north though 😉

Maybe I need help with my profile – come on guys what appeals to 40 something, chilled out, male mtbers / kayakers / snowboarders (plaese don’t get this thread locked )

As someone who has dated a few outdoorsy types I would say someone who isn’t trying to compete with men all the time. As in trying to out kayak, out snowboard or out ride you 24/7. Who doesnt drink like one of the guys and whom consequently gets a bit rapey. Who’s idea of ckoseness isn’t a slap on the back whilst calling you “mate”. Basically not someone who may as well have a cock.

It gets tiring after a while.

The more I read these threads the more I analyse myself and decide I am best off on the shelf – geez its a minefield. Cant say id pat a guy on the back instead of hug him, or feel the need to drink at their pace, but conversly when I ride with men I want to feel I can keep up, sometimes I may be quicker (are we then supposed to slow down and ride 10 paces behind)

No. I mean going out of your way to be faster even if it means riding beyond your ability and/or getting in a huff if you get beaten.

Basically if you want someone chilled out don’t be ultra competitive.

Copy and paste is the easiest way to get a date on them sites especially pof.
Don’t go into detail with your message just keep it short and simple for the first. Especially as you’ll only get one reply to every 5 messages. Most women on them sites are punching way above their weight, wanting tall, dark and rich, they then get used by these guys and end up back on them sites crying saying all blokes are c**** 😆
copy and paste, just change the names 😆
Pof is like a cattle market, you’ll deffo get a few jumps out of it! 😉

Date is on for tomorrow night.

Had a date last night. 3rd time of meeting, but first proper date, met her on PoF liked her on the basis that according to her photos at least, she was weatherproof!

Spent £40 for the privilege of us being shouted at by a “singer” in a foreign language at a Celtic Connections gig. We left after an hour with the “singer” highlighting our departure to the audience, at least my date saw the funny side of it!

Basically if you want someone chilled out don’t be ultra competitive.

I am who I am, and I’m not going to stop drinking pints just to get a date 😉

I do understand what you are trying to say, but this isn’t about who you are, most of us on this thread are capable of holding down a relationship when they meet the right person… this is about how to dodge the bullets ( as Junkyard so aptly put it) of the online dating game.

You can try doing what this guy did, How a Math Genius Hacked OkCupid to Find True Love

^^ Interesting… but it took 88 dud dates 😕

Speaking as an ex maths geek, getting one date at uni was a hell of an achievement so 88 is inspired. Even if they were duds.

You can try doing what this guy did, How a Math Genius Hacked OkCupid to Find True Love

Was going to post that. Clever idea, though I reckon most folk who went on that many dates would probably find someone, what it did do though was increase his visibility to the people he found most attractive and allowed him the opportunity to meet lots of people.

Speaking as an ex maths geek, getting one date at uni was a hell of an achievement so 88 is inspired. Even if they were duds.

You must have been reading applied Maths, a pure maths geek would never waste time with such things….

Genuine LOL at footflaps 😀

@ joshvegas – Good luck 🙂 We’ll be expecting an update tomorrow 😀

The date was lastnight! Went quite well! I took the piss she retaliated second date on the cards 🙂