Dear On One,

I ordered two lots of your bargain priced three packs of socks.

I was expecting six pairs of socks.

You sent me four.

Please hurry your “Investigations Team” up and send me the missing two pairs. It’s been 10 days since I told you that you’d got your maths wrong.

Lots of love,

Dave

x

I have them. I’m using them to keep my dogs feet warm on those cold cold nights.

I’ll send them on once I’ve finished masturbating.

…too much information

I’ll send them on once I’ve finished masturbating.

You know how you can sit on your hands to make them numb, so it feels like someone else doing it? Well, if you sit on the wrong saddle, it makes it numb, and it feels like you’re doing it to someone else.

you could be waiting a while.