Out with my 7 year old son last night for a pootle round the woods.
I found a nice jump that some local kids had built for their motorbikes, and thought, "aha!"
Minced over it once and then went for the fateful one more go.
Crap landing, slammed my head, elbow and knee into the dirt. Naturally, no helemt, as I was just out for a pootle.
Thank god the ground was soft!
Bike Forum
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On a scale of 1 to stupid, what is the daftest thing you've done.....
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Posted 1 year ago #
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Went to an afternoon BBQ in the summer intending to be back by 6pm, left about 10.30pm so decided that as I had no lights the quicker option is go back home through the woods, rather than the back roads.
After clipping a wooden post I fell off with my right leg going across the chainset. A day later my calf swells up as I've twisted the muscle and on antibiotics to stop any infection in my leg, and doctors orders of no riding for 2 weeks
Three weeks later I fall off and open the wound up again..
Posted 1 year ago # -
Not bike related but, I've got a couple.
Years ago, I was into field archery. In the middle of the woods ran a stream, which I needed to be at the other side of. The bridge was "too far away" and I figured it's probably jumpable, just.
Spent ages lining up the jump, measuring my strides, wasn't really sure but reckoned it was reachable. Went for it, ran hell for leather at the stream. Timed it impeccably, with my last footfall right on the edge of the bank. Lept for all I was worth, to find that my launching foot, now trailing, had squirreled itself under a thick tree root. A perfect example of Moments from my GCSE Physics, I cantilevered about a pivot and landed full-length into the stream. My mate, watching, provided one word, "graceful."
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Years later, I'd been out for a couple of beers with a few mates. Wasn't utterly trousered, but nicely merry. Stopped off for a dirty pizza, troughed it, and set off on the shank home.Just out of the town centre and a mile or two from home, suddenly needed one of those desperate emergency wazzes that only a few ales without yet breaking the seal can provide. Coincidentally, I was just passing a narrow alleyway and thought "that's for me!"
The alley was the width of a doorway and pitch black. I strode purposefully down it, to discover that a few yards in, the path became a stone staircase. Blind and oblivious, I marched straight off the top of it. Put my foot down firmly on absolutely nothing at all and pitched headlong into the darkness. Finally came to rest at the bottom having literally gone head over heels, fortunately my face broke most of the fall.
In hindsight, I came off quite lightly. Levi's and a leather jacket afforded some protection, but I managed to carve quite a deep gouge in my chin. After a day or two's worrying at it, I took myself off to A&E.
Doctor squeezes my face like a stress ball for a couple of minutes and, one the screaming had subsided, goes "hm, yeah, it's quite deep that, we'll just drop a staple in it for you."
Ok, thinks I, figuring "staple" was what the cool and groovy young doctors were calling stitches these days. But no, it's a staple; a metal staple from a f'king staple gun. He grabs my throbbing face, stuffs Rexel's finest at it and goes *ker-chunk*. JESUS HAROLD CHRIST AND ALL THE SODDING APOSTLES, BLOODY WELL OUCH! Thoughtful for a moment, he goes "hmm, missed" *ker-chunk* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!! "There you go, come back in a couple of weeks." You've gotta be f'ckin kidding me. Decades of scientific advance and medical research, and we're kitting the bastards out at WH Smiths now?
To their credit, it healed reasonably well. I toyed with the idea of taking the staples out myself, as they seemed to work loose as the crater in my face scabbed and knitted. But I went back like I was told, to find when he removed them that it was a good job - they hook back under themselves, I'd have pulled my face apart if I'd done it myself. These days I have a little bald patch from the scar, it's mostly hidden by my beardy bits so it's fine apart from when I feel like shaving the beard off, at which point it's bloody awkward to shave around without slicing it open.
How are they on the stupidometer? (-:
Posted 1 year ago # -
After an evening of consuming much beer visiting some mates at my old uni decided to do some urban free riding (or jumping down all the flights of steps we could find) after some warming up went to a large set took off in the moments before landing I noticed my feet were not the regulation distance apart but my feet were defiantly on the pedals. Upon landing promptly made for the steel handrail. Found the crank had come off
Still not got any feeling in that part of my leg.
Posted 1 year ago # -
Coatsey, your Real Ale Wobble stream isn't the same one in twigletmonsters pic on the 1st page is it?! I think that was during the wobble.
Things I've done...rode out of the kitchen, then deciding to pop a wheelie out of the back door. As my rear wheel pauses on the raised doorstep, I realise that my front wheel is now nearly two metres above the path as there are three steps down to outside. As I brace myself for the extremely hard landing, I remember the reinforced concrete washing line post 2 metres from the steps that we had unsuccessfully been trying to demolish the weekend before. Was extremely lucky to land with just bruised wrists and grazed past the post. (following week I realised the chain cleaner I'd used had flicked across the kitchen lino and bleached it!)
I also rode a mates bike he had just 'serviced', stood forwards with thighs against the bars to pull a nice big skid, (as kids do) said mate had connected the brakes the wrong way round and I went flying down the road, somehow managing to keep my face of the road using a tangle of feet and hands
Posted 1 year ago # -
At the age of about 14 I was waiting to turn right at a busy cross roads in Birmingham on my racer.
Toe clips and a failed track stand led to me falling slowly over to the right.
The buckle on the toe strap was then trapped between my right foot and the road.
I tried wriggling about to create a gap, but couldn't undo it.
I had to undo the left one first, then kind of twist round and roll on my back to get my right foot off the ground to undo the strap and get my foot off the pedal so I could stand up.
All with four lines of traffic watching me and waiting for me to get out of the way.Posted 1 year ago # -
Filled the car up with 70lts of unleaded in a diesel £240 to drain and refill with the right stuff. Pulled up at a set of lights along side a car full of kids and did the usual, didn't unclip fell onto car £100 to sort that out. Broke the wifes wing mirror, only moved it towards the window and it fell off £120. I could go on but it depressing me coz all my FU's seem to cost.
Posted 1 year ago # -
glentress, jump park, in the drizzle rain, no kneepads
visible patella
Posted 1 year ago # -
Group Christmas Ride last year. Ended up in the Belmont Bull. After many many pints we headed home.
Locals will know this... the hill up from Belmont to San Marino, there is a retaining wall on the left hand side... with about a 20' drop into the field below. Somehow, I veered over the pavement and over the wall still clipped into the bike. I have no recollection other than wondering how I had ended up in a field 40' away from the road and 30' down.
Me attempting to get back on the road.
PC060066 by lowey.com, on FlickrIt took us 2.5 hours to do a 20 minute ride
Posted 1 year ago # -
Kept trying to do the FOD tabletop after a full days uplift, I was nackered and should've been happy with my back wheel "about a foot away" from the landing before going even faster at it and not landing properly. 4-5 weeks later and still can't use the right arm fully, so I'm feeling bitter
Apparently the dust cloud I caused was good though. Another daft crash was years ago in the "bmx days". Riding a dodgy kicker and it snapped, sending me over the bars and leaving me with a big road rash patch on the face and concussion.
Posted 1 year ago # -
IM UK with p1ss poor prep = crap time, hip dysfunction that I can't sort out...not to mention spending £k's of shite I really didn't need
= ++ stupid
Posted 1 year ago # -
In the early 1970's I worked near Tadcaster & use to go to a pub called the wild man on the A64, back then pubs called last orders on a Sunday at 10.30pm (this after opening at 7pm)!! anyway on the sunday in question the barman who lived in York said we were not able to stop late because he needed to get home by 11pm & only having his dads pushbike was not for letting me & my 2 mates have an extra half pint of john smiths.
However to counter his worries we said if he did serve us we would ensure his fast & safe arrival home by towing him with one of our Motorbikes (A honda 500/4 & a CB175)drinks were duly served & after a washing line, taken from the rear of the pub was tied securly to the headstock of the pushbike & one mate holding onto the other end whilst sat backwards on the Honda4 & me following on behind on the 175 off up the A64 we procceded.
All was going quiet well till we got to a speed of around 55mph when the push bike developed quiet a pronounced speed induced wobble that got progresivly worse to the degree that the pedals on the push bike were hitting the tarmac on each side as it wobbled off up the road!!
The lad on the pushbike was by know screaming at my mate holding the washing line to let go, which he eventually did & the ensuing slide down the road was fantastic with bits of pushbike grinding away in one of the best pyro displays I have ever witnessed.
however this was topped by both pushbike & rider hitting the kerb in the central reservation, never has a bike with full mud guards,fully enclosed chain guard,dynamo lights & brooks full sprung saddle complete with toolroll flown so gracfully so high so far & yet come down so hard as to smash into so many bits.(we put it into 3 cardboard boxes to take it back to the barmans dad).
When all the dust had settled & we realised that hospital was the best place for the bike rider due to a rather large hole ground into his hip bone.
so with him now on the back of the Honda4 & the mate who reluctantly let go of the washing line now my pillion off to york general hospital we went, in the A&E dept the barman was seen by the matron in charge (remember this is the 70's)"what's happened" she ask's the barman, "come off my pushbike" he replies lifting his jacket to show massive hole in his side.
"my God" cries the Matron "what can you have been doing to get an injury like that from coming off your bike"? "about 60 MPH" comes the reply
Posted 1 year ago # -
Rangeroy, brilliant bed-time reading
LMAO
Posted 1 year ago # -
Chased a mate around Cadwell park once.
He was on a R1 race bike in full race spec with slicks, race bodywork & rearsets. He was lapping in a reasonable respectable 1:47 & I was on a FazerThou with new rearsets & freshly fitted engine protectors.Motorcyclists may see the problem coming: I tipped in to Barn corner @ redmist speed, the engine protector found the track surface before my toe did (due to the new rearsets). Bike exited the circuit stage left, I slid down the track on my arse complaining to myself of the carelessness of the pilot.
So far, so good... Unfortunately @ barn corner there is about 6ft of grass run off then a concrete wall protected by stacked tyres. The stacked tyres which fired the pilotless fazer thou back on to the tarmac which hit me in the head as it passed. Thus producing the end of my motorcyling career (and very nearly my life) by way of fractured C5, T4 & several other more minor bones.
The lesson: when crashing keep the Potential Energy to a manageable level
Posted 1 year ago # -
some really great posts, if my own experience is to go by, it's when you let your guard down...
out mucking about with friends at the local jump spot, finished up and rode to the shops, couple of beers and sprint home (i was a lot younger and fitter)
all i can remember is a flash and a lot of pain - turned out i had clipped a bollard with my bar, was going 'quite fast' and face planted sans helmet
actually walked away,
couldn't see mind cos of the swelling, also had broken skull, eye socket and nose. to this day glasses don't sit right on my face as it's skew wiff
had a few injuries since, including a couple of ribs, but never been so stupid as to ride a bit pissed without a helmet...
...until last year, went out for a long ride - had one of those over the bars, oh shit moments, and walked away fine - then went out for a 'few beers' that evening. run out of booze at mine, so me and a mate rode back to his, on the way back... doesn't matter how it happened... rode into a brick wall.
Not to bad, broken shoulder and a shot of morphine before they'd move me (despite i'd actually taked my t-shirt off to have a look!)
Posted 1 year ago # -
most stupid cycling incident
years ago, as a lad, a bike computer was something you bolted to the end of the axle, it hung down on a metal fitting strip had had a sort of jockeywheel on the inside and this was turned by a 'metal tag' that you clamped on one spoke, which every wheel rotation hit a 'peak' on the jockey wheel thing and drove it round. Anyway, boy, new toy, spannering, offski, belting along, mileometer not working, the tab wasn't hitting the clicker, so in my frustration I tried bending the fitting strip in a bit by kicking it - sadly the mileometer went into the spokes .............a close cycling second, in my day fireworks were basic, bangers, catherine wheels, roman candles, vesuvius flares and small weeeoosh rockets. So, all out on bikes, a mate (with a rich dad - a GEARED racing bike - wow) and some hefty fireworks, anyway in the interests of science we strapped the large rockets to Grahams frame and off to the top of the hill, speed record attempt on. Off he went, sadly Grahams dad was the first person on the island to have bought the now rather common exploding rockets, hospital job.
Posted 1 year ago # -
Must have been 10 or 11. Cycling round my estate on a warm summers night. I'm riding no handed at a fair pace when my front wheel hit a stone or a bump or something. The handlebars twisted and then my knee hit them which sent me and the bike into a catastrophic crash. I remember flying through the air with the bike, landing heavily with the bike on top of me and then skidding along the road forever. Someone came out from their house and helped me. Took me in and seen to the multiple cuts and grazes then phoned my parents to come and get me.
Posted 1 year ago # -
1. We used to use our bar ends as rocket launches and ride around the local park firing them at each other......
2. Pierce a conker with a meat skewer....And my hand....
3. Use a bowling ball as a football down the alley.....Broken ankle....
4. Let go of a rope swing at 30ft....Internal bleeding and concusion....
5. "One" last go at a no hander over a double-forgot to put hands back on....Chainrings in back of head-more stritches...
List goes on....
Posted 1 year ago # -
rode around the island on irvine boating lake when it was frozen.
its about 5 foot deep and i cant swim.
also, no spd's, so i was wearing ice skates instead.
it didnt seem stupid at the time, and i was ok too, didnt go through the ice.Posted 1 year ago # -
Without a doubt, it was learning skateboarding in my mid 30's.
I was getting pretty good. Could manual a bit and do small drop-ins.
We'd gone to a big indoor skatepark in Liverpool and I reckoned I could do this 4 foot high drop in. And I did, rolled down the vert no problems, onto the flat, small drop onto the concrete, did that, wobbled, stepped off the front of the board, leg sideways, SNAP!!!A lad said he heard my leg crack. Obviously, since I'm a bloke I assumed it was just a bit of a sprain and some beer would make it better. I drove home using an umbrella to press the cltch pedal and set about drinking beer to make it right. Spent the night sweating in agony. Took my son to football the next day using the same method. Watched him play football for three hours. When I got back into the car I banged my knee against the frame and passed out with the pain. When I came round my wife suggested we go to the hospital. Pfft!
She eventually convinced me and we nipped round there, just to see. I passed out again in the waiting room but we eventually learned I'd broken my knee. 3 months in plaster.
After that, I'd say getting a job in the public sector was a fairly stupid idea. I shudder every time I think about it.
Posted 1 year ago #
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