Our neighbours moved in about 5 yrs ago. It took about a year before we actually got to say hello to them, although they did post a Christmas Card through the door.

Their curtains are always drawn at the front of the house. Next time we see them they have a young baby. The annual Christmas card now comes from M&D + Baby. However we have seen the baby probably twice outside since it was born.

The local GP Practice Nurse lives opposite us and she has concerns the baby doesn’t get out of the house enough/see daylight, other neighbours find it very odd too.

I’m pretty much leave people to do what they want, but all 2 yr olds I know love being outside.

We have all joked on the street that one day the TV crews will be interviewing us and we will all be saying they were a quiet family that kept to themselves, and that sort of abuse thing doesn’t happen around here.

Are we just being nosey, or should we raise it with some one? If so who?

go right to the top – Daily Mail

I’ll watch this post with interest as we have almost the same thing but in addition we hear the parents screaming obscenities at the the children (who are probably 2 + 4). The 4 yr old seems to live with his grandparents and visits a couple of days a week and the baby didn’t live with the 24/7 when they first moved in so we have our suspicions that they’ve had the kids removed at some point.

The parents never show themselves for me to ‘drop’ into conversation that we can hear every word through the wall and I don’t feel that banging on the door will be justified yet.

My wife worries terribly about the kids but we have no evidence of anything other than bad parenting. We wouldn’t know who to talk to if we did want to take it further.

Odd thing to joke about IMO.

Maybe give NSPCC a call they might be able to suggest what to do?

If the child isn’t getting the right care and environment in the early years it could have a devastating effect on their life. If your worried enough to post on here it sounds like it’s worth doing something about.

How do you know the kid isn’t getting out? Are you tracking them 24/7?

My missus & kids very rarely get out of the house before 11am unless she needs to. I and most other people on our street are long gone to work by then.

write them a concerned notelet and post it through the door.

Contact Social Services. Your concerns on their own might not be enough to instigate a visit but they might have other “minor” concerns from other sources, which together might add up to a case which needs looking at.

All the **** NSPCC will do is raise a report with the council child protection team, so if you have concerns, do that directly yourself. They will see if they are known already and make a preliminary assessment as to whether any action should or can be taken.

MrsMC does this sort of thing for a living. She’d rush round to check it out but she was up till 2am writing a court statement, and I’d quite like her to get to bed before midnight tonight, please.

but we have no evidence of anything other than bad parenting

You haven’t got evidence of any such thing; you have a suspicion.

all 2 yr olds I know love being outside

Maybe they play out back; where the creepy neighbours can’t spy on them?

ScottChegg, being able to hear them screaming sentences at children along the lines of “shut the **** up”, “You’re f**king pathetic” and “for **** sake” sort of makes me think that is bad parenting…not a suspicion as I can hear every word they say!

Maybe my style of parenting is different to others (and I’m not perfect) but there is never any justification for that sort of interaction with a child.

Based on this EVIDENCE, I would suspect that the children in question are very nervous and fearful most of the time.

It still wouldn’t count as evidence, BTW. Can you prove it?

As you say

but we have no evidence of anything

Hmmm.

But if you are that concerned, do something.

Isnt it time someone told you to pop round and smash her back door in.. ??

Personally I would look for an opportunity to knock on the door and say hello. Maybe bake a load of cookies and say you made too many and would they like some, any excuse etc.

Interacting with someone in person on their doorstep will give you a really good idea of what is going on even if it is just for a minute.

If that interaction then confirms your suspicions i.e. do the parents look in good health, from what you can see inside the front door are they living in healthy conditions? – that would then help you make the next decision.

Speak to them in person, its a lost form of communication.

I rarely see my neighbours and they rarely see me as we’re in and out at different times. Could easily assume each other are hermits hiding away inside the house. Some have got kids but almost never see them, but then they’ll have left for school way before I get my lazy arse out of bed and I’m home late, but for all I know they’re locked up inside.

Other than immediate neighbour, I’ve talked to a couple of others in the street about once or twice in 15 years.

Plus I’m that strange bloke who loads up the car with a bike in the dark at night. I mean, WTF is that about? ! 😯

http://www.channel4.com/info/press/news/channel-4-announce-new-drama-the-people-next-door

Sounds like us.

Front curtains closed because people look in all day and I like to wander in my pants.

Benjamin is never in the garden where neighbours can see him because at 19 months he still refuses to weight bare or crawl amd screams murder if you put him down outside and mow the lawn.

We are normal. Ish

Depends only you know but it is only just spring different people are different me and Crankbrat played in the street all the time our neighbours opposite never have their child out in the street . I know them and see them in the supermarket and had them dump their child in my house in an emergency last week so I am 100% sure they are good parents but their child is rarely seen out.

ScottChegg, either you haven’t read my post correctly or you have a belief that screaming obscenities at a child is acceptable. If it’s the latter, congratulations you’re a shining example to us all!

My original post said that we can clearly hear this going on and that in itself causes us concern. The rest in terms of other conditions in the house is suspicion but we have evidence that they scream at their kids using unacceptable language on a very regular basis. I’m not quite sure why you keep referring to ‘no evidence’? Abuse isn’t only physical, it can be verbal and mental too.

Child protection is everyone’s responsibility, it’s an awful feeling having to report such things but if it makes a child safer or happier it’s worth it. I’ve sadly had to face the dilemma a few times and proceeded with it. If you’re genuinely worried contact your local child protection team.

ScottChegg, either you haven’t read my post correctly or you have a belief that screaming obscenities at a child is acceptable

I’ve read your posts very carefully, that’s why I’ve noted the contradictions.

At no point have I said that screaming at a child is acceptable. You’ve misunderstood what I have put very badly if you think that.

You need to speak to a professional if you are that concerned. See MoreCash’s post above.

But when they turn up and all is roses next door, you don’t have evidence; you have a witness statement.

Handwringing on a bike forum is not going to help those kids life improve. If you are really, genuinely fearful of their wellbeing then do something.

Losing your rag at someone on a forum who is pointing out the very, very obvious is displacement activity. Direct your efforts where it might do some good.

Handwringing on a bike forum is not going to help those kids life improve. If you are really, genuinely fearful of their wellbeing then do something.

I don’t think the OP is handwringing, I think they are genuinely concerned. This is the Chat Forum too – Mumsnet for sane people. Contributors hereabouts seem to have a wide range of experience and expertise, so why not ask?

you don’t have evidence; you have a witness statement.

Er, point of order – a witness statement IS evidence… 😉

Speak to them in person, its a lost form of communication.

+1

Just report it to social services or the health visitors. It’s their job to monitor children and sort things like that out. The health visitor can then pop around and check things out.

Speak to them in person, its a lost form of communication.

“Good morning, can I just ask why you shout and scream abuse at your kids?”

“Yes of course, well you know how it is the little scallywags wind you up sometimes don’t they?”

“They sure do.”

We don’t live in the front of our house, partly because front bedroom is guest room and I fitted the blind the wrong way round and can’t be bothered refitting so it is always closed. Front living room is never used. We ‘live’ in the rear of the house.

Having a new baby is a stressful time, could you fault someone from living in their nest where they feel comfort/safe?

If you are genuinely concerned buy the baby a big teddy or take round a bottle of something and pop round. You can get a really good feel doorstepping and glancing into the hallway. Make a comment about a nice picture as a way in or just glance and assure yourself.

On another level what you think is a clean home is someone else’s hovvle or someone else’s palace. Don’t judge.

Contact Social Services. Your concerns on their own might not be enough to instigate a visit but they might have other “minor” concerns from other sources, which together might add up to a case which needs looking at.

This is the best answer.
TBH, I’d rather someone raised concern and it be ‘dismissed after assessment’, than an issue be ignored.

The way the system AIMS to work with regards to child protection is the ‘gathering of information’ for all available sources.
If, for example, you raise this, the school has raised something, and there’s been 4 A+E attendances this month, then alarm bells will start ringing…

I’d suggest reporting it (Especially the post about swearing and being aggressive towards the other kid), and hope something gets done.

DrP

TBH, I’d rather someone raised concern and it be ‘dismissed after assessment’, than an issue be ignored.

I’m not a pro in this, but have had to do various courses as part of being the Club Welfare officer at my cricket club, and the takeaway from that (apart from loads of paperwork!!) is that anything that causes concern should be referred. It’s too important a subject to worry about whether you’re doing the right thing or not, you HAVE to talk to someone about it. If your concerns are in any way founded and you don’t, that would be awful.

On what grounds should the OP report a family to social services?

‘I never see the baby out’. Do you sit at home all day looking out the window ?..

THIS

A million times THIS

You might be wrong we dont know but if you are genuinely concerned PLEASE ACT

I never see the baby out’. Do you sit at home all day looking out the window ?..

I think the OP has been dismissed.

Child protection is everyone’s responsibility,

+1

It’s all to do with something called society, whose death has been miss-reported many times.

Do you sit at home all day looking out the window ?..

ScottChegg, in my opinion you were being confrontational for the sake of it and not adding anything positive to the conversation. We all have different opinions so you’re entitled to yours…although I’m not sure that my replies were a sign of me losing my rag!

As per slowoldman’s comment, there is absolutely no hand-wringing suggestion in any of my comments apart from the the fact that I did come back to disagree with your ‘no evidence’ comments. As Jaketer suggested, a witness statement is evidence.

I’m interested in all opinions if they add value to a conversation and I’ll continue to keep an eye on this thread as there will continue to be positive input from people with lots of different real-life experiences.

p.s. this still isn’t me losing my rag 😉