I've not experienced 1 or 2. Most of the other stuff is you fighting against Apple's way of doing things - if you work in the (one true) Apple way you're fine. Fight it and you're screwed.
I used to use Adobe's photoshop library (can't remember the name) which was equally as bad when it came to exporting and maintaining albums. The *nice* thing about iPhoto is the 'lossless' editing. You only appear to have one copy of each photo in the library but the original is still there and the changes you've made can all be undone.
At the end of the day it's a basic photo management app and it's perfect if your needs are basic and you want your files organised with the minimum of effort. If you want something complex you need to go elsewhere.
5. I can't have a library shared by me and my wife i.e. we each have our own Mac log on and import photos on each account, but they all go into a shared library. I have been on countless forums and tried all sorts, even resorting to calling APple. Still no help
or across machines on a network. There are (or at least used to be) some unreliable bodges but this is really annoying. You can share across the network (not sure if it works across different accounts on the same machine) but you only see Albums and you can't edit the original - you have to import to your local iPhoto and edit there (then reimport if you want to)