Apparently my personal failing is putting chewing gum back in the packet after I’ve chewed it [used gobs in the blister pack with the foil stuck to it].

😀

every single morning she wakes up and complaines she’s tired and hasn’t had enough sleep. Then gets into a huff when I remind her that yet again she spent the night playing some stupid iPhone game or while watching some shite on the telly.

Oh, and saying wer’re skint while simultaneously booking really expensive holidays, weekends at the Grand national / ascot etc. All of which require multiple trips to the shops to get more bloody clothes.

Oh, and saying she’ll help in any diy task and loosing interest after 3 brush strokes then complaining how long it’s taken

Oh, and breathing, her £&@”ing breathing.

I’m making me a new patio……

Her stacking of the washing up on the draining board defies all logic. Starts with wine glasses as a foundation, then plates as the first floor and topped off with a stack of mugs, dishes etc ! I kid you f*****g not !
The sound of broken crockery is common in our house. The other day dinner plates were balanced on their sides between glasses and mugs !
She also likes to put chicken in the wok, full gas, then go and prepare the vegetables while completely ignoring the smoking chicken which inevitably sets off the smoke detectors. It’s called a stir fry for a good reason, so don’t abandon it !