Timekeeping, inherited from her father. She has no concept of being on time arrgh!

Never answering her mobile phone or looking at texts till hours later, probably related to the time keeping gene mutation.

Faffing, how is it I can get dressed, get both bikes out out of the shed, lube and pressure checked and ready to roll and she’s still wondering what jacket to wear and what’s the weather like outside!

Have you lot learned nothing? Your partner has no bad habits merely affectations. You, on the other hand…

My OH has a very odd approach to laundry in that the laundry basket should always be empty. This results of course in all the laundry being on the floor, in piles, outside our bedroom. Next to an empty laundry basket. I even installed a second laundry basket for the pre sorting of colours/whites etc. Nope! still all over the floor, in piles.

Are they bolted to the floor? Only, there’s at least two people in your house not chucking those piles into the baskets.

Tbf she puts up with a lot but;

She works 20 minutes away but insists on phoning on her way home to chat about nothing. Invariably somewhere well get a “OH was that a red light?”!!!!!!!!

Whenever she opens the car door at home she smacks it off something. Either the bins or my van. Not hard but……

Faffing, how is it I can get dressed, get both bikes out out of the shed, lube and pressure checked and ready to roll and she’s still wondering what jacket to wear and what’s the weather like outside!

We have a similar thing, in that I can get ready in 1/2 the time she can, so I let her get up and have breakfast before me, safe in the knowledge that I can get up and sorted and we’ll both be ready to go at the same time, but oh no, that doesn’t work because she won’t start getting ready until I do, so we’re back to square one. I try suggesting she starts gettign ready earlier and get the following repsonse “but then I’ll be ready before you!”

Oh will you, will you really? I think not….

It’s all just the fun of life with someone though, I’m sure I’m just as bad or worse for other things and I wouldn’t change her 😀

@gonzy – you do know that most dishwasher tablets are supposed to go in / on top of the cutlery basket ?

not this one…its an older philips whirlpool and the tablets are supposed to go in a compartment n the door. the dishwasher wont run unless the compartment door is closed but its been broken. not bothered about replacing the whole thing right now as we’re selling the house so we’ll bin it and get another if/when needed

Bath towels.

Either left on the bed, soaking wet.

Or the floor, soaking wet.

Or the bedstead, soaking wet.

Or the back of a chair, soaking wet.

Or at best, a half arsed attempt at the towel rail which results in a rammed-in, tightly wedged, screwed up damp mess.

Cant believe I have read every single post and the biggest bugbear with me has not been mentioned at all – have you all trained your wives so well that THEY NEVER LEAVE THE WINDOWS OPEN AND HEATING ON??
I just cant seem to drum into the other half that its just like throwing money out the window – her response is she pays the gas/electric, well yes but we are in this together and it really doesnt make sense me coming home from work to find ALL radiators blasting out heat and at least 4/5 windows open as “its a bit warm in here” 🙁
Oh, and lights
Oh and, while we are on, the toilet door thing…to me its something that we do in private, the last thing I want to hear is her having a wee or worse…please please please just CLOSE THE BLOODY DOOR !

I’m going to have to go with another washing up related one over here…

There is a dishwasher in the house, however instead of putting the dishes straight in the dishwasher when done she insists on putting them in the sink, that on one hand is just daft as as other people have already mentioned it takes even longer to come back and put them in the dishwasher later. The second thing is that even if she doesn’t want to put straight in the dishwasher they HAVE to go in the sink, they can’t just go ‘on the side’ why? because she doesn’t want to see the mess, so they go in the sink so they are out of site, therefore rendering the sink unusable!

Also terrible at turning off lights

Also terrible at having the apartment in sauna mode instead of just putting on a jumper or trousers or something.

Also does the thing where she asks me to pass her things which as just as close, if not closer, to her than me?!

This is slowly turning into an epic thread

In my case
– She expects me to hear what she is saying, regardless of where I am in the house, but gets upset with me in I expect the same thing
– Dishwasher!!!!!!
– Runs to a just in time policy for going out – we are always late
– Getting ready to go for a ride, I can normally get dressed, sort out two bikes, drinks, etc and still have time for a cup of tea. Except for the one time, when I was 30 seconds late and it was all my fault that we left late
– Does the washing up, but then leaves the cooling water in the bowl, with a congealing mass on the surface just in case something else needs to be washed.

I am sure that I am far, far worse.

iancity1 – I think you may be married to a girl I used to share a house with at university. It used to drive the rest of us up the ****ing wall!!!

The total irrationality of it seemed obvious to everyone but her. I’ve had the heating on all day, despite it being June, and its getting a bit hot in here. What should I do? Turn the heating off? Naaah. I’ll leave it on full, blasting heat out, while I go round the house and open all the windows.

The mind truly boggles at the thought process involved

Collects all manner of cheap or free shit from local Facebook groups, comes back with something every day, just utter shit

Agreeing with all my crazy ideas.

Washing up, specifically glasses – which should apparently be done as quickly as possible, and just on the insides.

I, on the other hand, have OCD about clean glasses. Post-dinner cleanup last night resulted in greasy / smeary glasses this morning, so I left the sink filling up (slow hot water tap!) while I made my lunch, with said glasses on the side waiting for me to do a decent job on them alongside a few other times, while OH is still in bed blissfully unaware.

OH then unexpectedly walks in and decides to do the washing up I’d intended. I didn’t want to upset her happy mood, so left her to it.

It’s OK though, I’ll be home from work before her this evening so can finally do a good job on them this evening, ready for a couple of beers while fettling the bikes later ready for our weekend adventures.

(I am certainly not without my faults, however 🙂 )

mrhoppy – Member
bigyinn – Member
A few….
Moaning that a small pile of my magazines at the side of the sofa is my contribution to the general shit-hole mess of a house that she and my son leave behind them. I dont have mess in the house, thats why I have sheds.
Oh god yes, asymetric mess perception. The kitchen a mess and it’s all my fault because my lights are charging by the back door with my small box of biking essentials, conveniently ignoring the forests worth of her pointless magazines and stuff she’s got out with hoppy jr and not put away. But what’s worse is you still get the same view when it’s been put away.

Oh this, thirded. She keeps going on about the house needing decluttered. It’s all shit that she got for herself or the kids / didn’t put away after using. In the general mess there are 2 of my magazines. And I have repeatedly suggested that buying massive toys (baby bouncers etc.) is not a great idea, to no avail.

using the hot tap, but not for long enough for hot water to reach the tap.

y’know, 5-15 seconds, enough to get the boiler to kick in, and burn off a few quids worth of gas, but not long enough to actually benefit from the hot water.

mind you, i’m the stealth washer-upperer, the one that clears up around her when she’s baking. i have a knack for cleaning and tidying-away the utensils she most needs next. i’m a dead man walking.

5-15 seconds, enough to get the boiler to kick in, and burn off a few quids worth of gas

You need your boiler servicing 😉

Won’t wash any dirty crockery/cutlery, because it is not her job, she would rather raid the cupboards and use tupperware or pyrex than wash a plate/dish by the sink.

When I’m about to finish washing up everything that was by the sink, she brings ~2 days worth of her dirty dishes through, that she left scattered around her side of the sofa and pc desk.

She cleans the guinea pigs indoor run out, putting the old newspaper/hay etc. in carrier bags… All good so far. But she never then takes them directly to the wheelie bin outside, they must live at the top of the stairs for days. And as she is off to work this morning, she asks if I can take them out as she walks right past them!

She insists on having baths late afternoon, despite the immersion heater heating up on E7 electric every night, so it needs an expensive re-heat just before bath time. And despite a sticky note by bath that she wrote, reminding her to turn off the immersion ASAP, I often find it still on hours later!

I’m going to stop now, this is putting a negative vibe on my free Friday! 😆

it is comforting to know it is not just me that gets wound up by my other half.

How many lipsticks do you need….in the car (both), handbags, by the front door, everywhere.

Always late, she has more stuff to do to get out of the door. She might be correct but when I point out that she knew this when she got up (late) then why is it a surprise every time.

Drives like the clutch is on or off, does not hear bad noises coming from the car, takes the wrong line around corners and takes them like they are all 90 degrees. Great with a bad back.

Buys all manner of organic sh1t. Himalayan pink crystal salt??,

It is winding me up typing this as it is reminding me of more….

My missus leaves her mobile phone on the meter cupboard, next to the landline (which is unplugged).

This means whenever she gets a call, text etc she has to get up and walk out to the hallway to answer it.

The clue is in the word ‘mobile’ FFS!!

I’ve raised it numerous times and suggested she keeps her phone on her, but she just looks at me like I’m a bit odd.

<sighs>

Once I’m dead my wife will turn into one of those mad old ladies who fills her house full of newspapers and magazines.
Her body won’t be found until they empty the magazine mountain into a fleet of skips.
Trying to get her to get rid of a magazine can result in world war 3. She subscribes to every cooking , gardening and travel magazine going. Most of the time she is quite normal…… but jeeeeesus.

Collects all manner of cheap or free shit from local Facebook groups, comes back with something every day, just utter shit

I wonder what she says about your bike parts 😉 ?

Filling the sink until it almost overflows just to wash a spoon…

I’ve many foibles and thank my lucky stars that I have her as I’d be hard pushed to find anyone willing to put up with me…

She is my positive force and the proverbial firework up the jacksie that I need.

However, she has inherited her mother’s knack of taking ages, meandering, mentioning every (irrelevant) detail when giving information or telling a story. When I start finishing her sentences (knowing what’s coming), or gesticulating that she should get to the point she’s gets in a huff and clams up.

After a weekend away in the van she feels the need to get everything washed on the Sunday evening (wash marathon) despite us having time on Monday or Tuesday or Wednesday etc to do the washing. This invariably means one or both of us stay up later than necessary waiting for the machine to finish and/or running out of dyer space to hang things up. Things get hung on the back of doors, chairs etc.

The amount of time needed to get ready. Why it takes her 45minutes each morning to get out the house I’ve no idea (partly because I refuse to get up until she is out the house…. I’m not a particularly sociable person in the morning).

Asking me what the weather is like or if it is cold outside before deciding what to wear despite me not having been outside and that I put a thermometer outside one of the windows for this very purpose.

The amount of clothing/layers she takes with us when we go ride or walk. Invariably I end up carrying most of it and sweat out due to the excess weight in the bag. However, I blame her folks for this…. Today there are lots of Germans running around with those feather filed jackets on despite it being 22’c outside. In wearing shorts and am on the verge of going topless.

And just yesterday…. Bitching when trying to drift/get her car sideways around the bends on the pass road. B-)

Using a new cup/mug/glass for every drink and then dumping it in the sink for the washing up fairy to get clean. usually with the tea bag still in the cup.

Putting sharp knives in the washing up bowl camouflaged by suds so the washing up fairy cuts hands again.

Riding the clutch on the car EVERY time it is stationary. Wonders why there is a burning smell coming from the car and why the clutch is ‘going again’. This one drives me particularly postal.

Leaving the Hoover at the top of the stairs for me to fall over. Again.

However, I wouldn’t change a thing about her – not one thing. Well, maybe the clutch riding. That’s expensive.

This thread is epic, probably the most i’ve laughed reading the forum in 10 years! Mostly when people mention the word huff, makes me chuckle as I can just imagine the huffing

When changing gear she lets the revs drop right down so there’s a ‘thunk’ with every shift. I’m not even mentioning it, she’s only recently stopped regularly shifting from 4th gear to 1St rather than 5th. Apparently the indexing is faulty (it’s not). That was a more serious issue.

Thermostat set to 24 degrees & heating on every second of the day.
All the lights left on.
Kitchen cupboard so full of crap it all falls onto the floor each time a door is opened.
Incapable of tidying up or throwing anything away.
Spare room stacked floor to ceiling with junk.
Bank statements & old bills randomly stuffed into any drawer.
RAHHHHHH – Its so much better now we dont live together.

Being a grumpy bitch, especially when on the blob.

Mrs Fettlin is the yin to my yang, but by God’s does she grind my gears over certain things:

Late. Every. Time. We. Go. Out. To the point now where anybody we arrange to meet always allows ‘Mrs Fettlin’ time to the ETA.

An inability to learn how to operate the bluray player. We have a harmony remote, so it couldn’t be easier, but whenever I show her she just says ‘oh it’s too complicated, you do it’ then moans I’ve never shown her!
(See also iplayer, amazon prime etc).

Using my socks when she wears wellies (all the time for the horses). I can never find my nice thick socks, oh, here they are in your stock drawer love, how did that happen 🙄

Talking at me about her day at work. As soon as she gets in. Weather I ask or not. I may as well go to work with her as I’m also expected to remember what happened yesterday, it feels line I’ve done her day at work as well. Oh, and then never asks about my day.

All of these are just part off what makes her so special, so I don’t let them get to me as I’m sure when the boot is on the other foot the list would be just as long 🙂

Claiming not to have heard the ‘safe word’ 😯

😉

Quite a few of the the traits listed above manifest themselves in Mrs B, plus:

Putting the bedside light on the middle of the night to find something on her bedside table instead of just being able to remember where the item is that she was looking for.

Getting up in the night to go to the loo and without fail blowing her nose every time she returns to the bedroom. Why can this but be done in the bathroom?

I’m fairly sure she does this in response to my ability to be asleep with 10 seconds of my head hitting the pillow. Her nose blowing and light show theatrics quite often disturb my slumber but I’m not going to give her the satisfaction of admitting it.

Every Christmas / Birthday she buys the kids presents which contain thousands of small parts (you know like hama beads, play doh sets, littlest pet shop, kinetic sand) and then complains that the kids have too much stuff and the floor is covered in sand.

(Great thread BTW. STW at its finest. )

beamers comment above reminds me: my ability to fall asleep in a matter of seconds is a source of immense frustration for my wife, who sometimes[ often wakes me up, shortly after I’ve fallen asleep, to tell me off for being so annoying, at being able to drop off, so hard, so fast.

I put it down to my clear conscience, and regular exercise.

Oh, and booze, of course.

beamers comment above reminds me: my ability to fall asleep in a matter of seconds is a source of immense frustration for my wife, who sometimes[ often wakes me up, shortly after I’ve fallen asleep, to tell me off for being so annoying, at being able to drop off, so hard, so fast.

So its not just me.

Last night my head hit the pillow at 2200. At 2210 the house was buzzed by a low flying fast jet which I slept right through. Mrs B was not happy.

Why when she is driving does she go round every corner like it’s a fifty pence piece.

The way she always says she’s ‘never been here/there before’, when I’ve got photographic proof that she has.

Oh the complete lack of sense of direction and never remembering any directions or the road she has taken before 1000 times or just generally anything about directions really

The hand towel hangs on a rail beneath the bathroom basin. After washing my hands, I just want to reach down and be able to dry my hands and walk away.

She seems to have to do this elaborate quadruple folding thing with the towel so that if you even so much as think about using it, it’s fallen on the floor beneath the basin whereupon I have to scrabble about retrieving it.

I then put it back in a simple half-loop back over the rail (which means it dries better) and you can use it without having to reinstall it every single time.

She rocks mind. 🙂

Clogging up the TV recorder with stuff she never watches but insists she will one day. There’s still some 2012 Olympic Games stuff waiting to be watched.

I did ask, once, and was told it was because otherwise the tea bags were too hot to go straight in the bin. I’m amazed I haven’t caused a bin fire yet.

I bet your other half hates it when there’s bin juice caused by the dripping, steaming tea bags in the bin.