Have a couple of things going on at the moment:

1) work is fundamentally interesting but bosses are bullies and have absolutely zero idea about project management, so many people are quitting and deadlines missed, shoddy product etc.

2) for tedious reasons, I have to band together with my neighbours and sue a construction company. One set of neighbours is completely barmy – a couple of gumbies that want to spend everyone else’s money in taking it all the way to the high court of the world universe appeal court, regardless of costs.

Was having a chat to a mate about this, and we sort of had the conclusion that it was pointless trying to fix this stuff because things never change, and it’s easier to move/change jobs and chuck it in. As it happens, it’s not really convenient for me to do that now, but out of interest:

Has anyone ever been at a shitty, abusive workplace that turned around and got better, or do they just always remain crap and you can only leave? Has anyone ever been able to sort something out with a neighbour and come to a reasonable conclusion, or do the douchebags just always win?

There are no winners and losers. It’s all just a circular game. You can make the most of your time in the game by focussing on yourself and not trying to alter other people’s reality for them. Don’t get sucked into someone else’s control dramas. Go to work and do your best, be nice to your neighbours even if you think they are **** and enjoy every second. It won’t happen again.

I can’t give any hope with the work situation, but with neighbours (or indeed any other people), often, in fact invariably, taking them to one side, treating them like people, and explaining your concerns can work wonders.

Remember, it is absolutely possible to strongly disagree with people and yet remain friendly/civil. Don’t automatically demonise people who cross you (and that’s something the majority of us are guilty of).

Time for a bike ride mate, by the sound of it. 🙂

On a seriouserer note I was once stuck in a really crap job, at the mery of what were nothing more than bullies. Was also buying a house with someone who turned out to be a cheating lying cow. Thoroughly unhappy.

Suffice to say it took a while but night classes helped me get into a new career & a brief fling with someone gave me the confidence to ditch the bithc & get my own place. Spent two years studying, assisted by having no money due to paying off all “our” (her) debts.

Things do get better mate, but it takes work & you need to set yourself a scenario a year or so from now with you in a better place, then dont lose sight of that. Theres a new job out there waiting for you, & once youve nailed that find yourself somewhere new to call home.

I can’t give any hope with the work situation, but with neighbours (or indeed any other people), often, in fact invariably, taking them to one side, treating them like people, and explaining your concerns can work wonders.

Not with my prick of a neighbour, effectively running his taxi/ chauffeur hire business from his house dispite have a registered business address in an industrial estate. Yesterday we had 6 or 7 cars all being washed and got ready for a wedding. Have asked him previosly to consider the neighbours in respect of parking noise etc. which resulted in him threatening promising to rip my head off.

We now have the local planning officer involved as this is a breach of his planning application.

4 months after moving to Oz I still don’t miss my actual job that I left. Feel so much better for it. After 7 years waiting for something to change I think I ended up with the only option I could do something about.

I’ve had my fair share of work and housemate troubles.
Whilst most people I spoke to agreed both situations were pretty unpleasant and the people unbearable, I made it harder in the way I dealt with it… got stressed, told myself I could do nothing about it…

Moved on from both and life definitely got better. But learnt a lesson to deal with it dispassionately rather than get angry and upset…

There are some utterly unpleasant people out there, and you can’t avoid them all the time. But you can adapt you’re own response to them

1) work is fundamentally interesting but bosses are bullies and have absolutely zero idea about project management, so many people are quitting and deadlines missed, shoddy product etc.

From my experience, some bosses do not want to be threatened by underlings so ensure those they employ don’t. There is often a habit of promotion to a level of incompetence. but nothing it done once your their. some people want the power and prestige, these tend to be those who should never be given it.

I had an abusive bully for a boss, the solution i chose was walk. I felt so much better even though i had no job, income etc.

It might get better, but i wouldn’t wait to find out, is the stress really worth it?

There is often a habit of promotion to a level of incompetence.

The Peter Principle.

Have asked him previosly to consider the neighbours in respect of parking noise etc. which resulted in him threatening promising to rip my head off.

Unfortunately the only way to deal with cowardly bullies who make their way through life by threatening people with violence, it to stand up to them, preferably using legal methods (battles are always easier to win from higher ground, in this case the higher moral ground). Obviously that’s a tough judgement call to make, how real are the threats, am I putting my family in danger more by standing up for what’s right?

As for the work bit, it will only get worse, as the boses become more bullying to get profit and keep them in jobs and nice cars, till the comapny goes bust.or you leave.

Been there.

as for the neighbours had 2 eveil ones who moaned about everything, the last meeting they had a go at evryone, demanding lots of changes etc.

Next day after everything had ben a greed they moved out, didnt tell anyone just went.

I wish my neighbours would move out. Unfortunately they’re crotchety curtain-twitching mid-50s types who are preparing for their retirement in this house, so they’ll never ever leave. It’s annoying that we are (as far as the lawsuit goes) on the same side, so our fates are intertwined and I have to co-operate with them. If I was suing them it would be a lot easier just to ignore/deal with them.

I’m not so worried about the work stuff, as I’m (relatively) junior, cheap and in short supply for the moment.

you need to set yourself a scenario a year or so from now with you in a better place, then dont lose sight of that.

Pretty much nailed it there – I need to stick this out for another 12-18 months without getting into any major disagreements or strife, and then move on. It’ll be fine – the work and my colleagues are pretty nice, it’s just some of the bosses who are awful people.