So the SO is seven months pregnant and has been having some upper abdominal pains since Saturday, no bleeding and no cramps.

The baby seems to be OK, heartrate is fine and the baby is moving plenty but maternity triage admitted her today and she’s having a further ultrasound scan in the morning. I feel like a complete spare part, I’m used to fixing stuff when it doesn’t work or making things better when she feels crap (she’s been sick every day for five months so I’m used to the holding her hair at 5am thing..)

I’m not really expecting much sensible advice in response to this, but as a first time dad I’m on tenterhooks anyway and this has thrown me for six. **** me but the little blighter had better like riding bikes when it’s born. Or I’ll be very dissapointed in it.

Someone cheer me up / give me support / pour me another dram as I’m stuck in a tail spin of self doubt on the sofa.

1st trick is to not drink just incase you get a call, be it good or bad, no sense in drink driving, nor is it any fun waiting for a taxi

Its kind of normal to feel like that, I was the same for both ours… just have to take comfort that your wife is in the hands of professionals, and be ready on-call when needed!

many normal pregnancies follow a patter similar to yours. She is in the hands of the professionals and I am sure everything will be ok. They are worth the wait.

What they said plus, our first decided to arrive at 32 weeks (about 7 months). He’s now a gobby 6 year old who is the tallest and brightest in his class (he takes after his mother!). We had a couple of weeks in hospital with him and then he was home. So don’t worry if junior decides it’s time to put in an appearance now.

If I were you, I’d be trying to get as much sleep as possible, because you’re not going to get another unbroken nights sleep for quite a while when it does show, and you need to be as strong as you can be.

When junior 1 arrived, we had spent the weekend at the inlaws in Kendal. Mrs j spent a few hours in Lancaster hosi before we made the 200 mile drive back home. In hind sight, we reckon she was in labour for about 3 days, we just didn’t realise. Mothers and babies a tough – they have to be.

And when it does kick off, stay at you wife’s head end, and DON’T LOOK DOWN.

Good Luck!

GET SLEEP! Do the things you have been putting off NOW – all those things around the house, sort the garage, bikes maintained. All that stops when the wee one arrives. You’ll keep feeling a bit useless, but it gets better. I am convinced me bottle feeding helped me get it together – it means I didn’t just hand the little one off every time she was hungry and could give mum a break.

Yeah I agree, it sounds fine, the are in the best hands now, even if baby comes now it’ll be fine so fret not. They tend to be cautious with pregnancy so that she will be in hospital just in case. It’s going to be fine.

PS for both mine I was down the business end..

+1 for the get sleep, and double check your phones (house, mobile) are set to ring as loud as they do. Lie in, snooze on the settee, eat properly, do some washing, clean the pots.
Basically clear the decks so that when she/they get home there is a clean start, might only last 10 minutes but keeps you busy in the mean time and your wife will appreciate it.

Sleep, eat, speak to mates who you won’t be seeing for some time soon.

Sadly maternity units often make partners feel like spare parts, or that it is all our fault (well, in a way it is, but it is a partnership!).

This admission to hospital is just a speed bump, my sons 20 week scan showed no left kidney had developed, which in turn indicated a further low risk of the likes of Downes etc. Due to a close family member havinbg had a newborn bay die because of a genetic abnormality this meant a stressful 2nd half of pregnancy, which was only relieved when he popped out pissing & pooing & crying his lungs out. He’s now a stroppy 10 year old as tall as my shoulder – a right runt!

Feeling like a spare part is all part of fatherhood.

Hope it all goes well for Mum & Baby.

The trails need you! men want to feel needed or worry.

You haven’t got a medical degree and 10yrs experience so give yourself a break.

Been there with the ‘wife in hospital’ thing (for different reasons) and know how you feel. All the best to you all.

Have a sleep youll need it, for your wife.

Its not like youre haveing a new bike built, its just a baby, and theyre born ebvery day, new bikes only come every few years. 🙂

All the best mate – my wife is 28 weeks today so Im feeling your pain. Fingers crossed for you all.

I’m the same as you I fix stuff everyday at work and when I cant fix things like this it stresses me.

Get your head into some jobs or something to pass the time.

My third is due this coming Sunday – wife was in hospital at some point during all three although with this one at least I had two others to take my mind off it. They are very cautious over pregnancy and will look after her – as the rest say, get some sleep and sort out all that needs doing.

All the best.

Richard.

Hey Rich, didn’t realise it was so soon. All the best fella – see you for a ride in the spring : )

It’s a stressful time OP and the advice above is all good sensible stuff.

I would add that you should try and ENJOY the relative calm of now as well as the anticipation of the future.

I’ve been there, wife was in hospital with preeclampsia with our twins. Apart from visiting everyday take the advice above, sleep and prepare for the baby. I decorated the nursery, but I leave most things until the last minute. Get a few rides in. Might be the last for a while!

All the best bigG, Our twins are 5 months. No major issues for the pregnancy, she had a C-section at 36 weeks. They both had to go back in after 3 days, our girl was put straight under the lights and needed fluids for Jaundice, the boy just needed monitoring. If it’s anything like the wards in Bury it was like the middle of the Sahara, damn they keep those wards warm and we spent 3 days there. Already been mentioned that she is in the hands of the professionals, get some sleep and for some brownie points clean the house for when she gets back. 😉

Thanks all

she seems to be on the right road now, scans have confirmed the baby is fine and no major probs with mum, just an unexplained pain.

She’s in for another night, hopefully home tomorrow (and the house is gleaming, my PO at HMS Raleigh would be proud of me)

G

glad all is ok, it will be worth it I promise. our boy is 5 weeks now and it’s just the best thing ever 🙂

Feeling like a spare part is all part of fatherhood.

It needn’t be. Although you do sometimes have to work at it a bit to stay involved, especially if you are out at work a lot and the mother is there 24/7.

I had to shake myself up a bit at a certain point and put myself in lil grips’ life – it’d have been easy to let Mrs Grips do it all at certain points. We have a good relationship now tho although Mrs Grips still does everything when I’m not there.