I've had that same phone call from a friends wife. Its a tough one.
Our friend was the guy who inspired a whole lot of folks to get into mountainbiking way back in the early eighties.
We have an annual ride in his memory, though to be honest I think about his enthusiasm on most every ride I go out on. His death made me think a lot more about the things that matter to me in my life.
When someone dies suddenly like that it does seem almost impossible to comprehend at first. We were out in Greece in June and my wife got a phone call from her sister-in-law to tell her that her brother had died an hour earlier that morning. He'd felt a bit restless in the night and went to sleep in the spare room to avoid disturbing his wife - when she went to wake him for work at 6-30 she found him dead.
Ok, he was older (56) but appeared perfectly healthy, so the shock for everyone was immense.
People say that if you have to go, then that's the way to do it but it comes like a bolt from the blue to those who have to pick up the pieces of their lives.
It gets easier with time - like others have said, remember the happy and good times that you've shared. I think that's how people live on, by the positive effects that they have had on those who knew them.
Best Regards and don't stay alone at home, go out and talk to other pals/family too.
It's awful, especially when it's a mate rather than family. If it's close family, people expect you to be upset, when it's a mate, you feel as if you have to be strong for the family, when inside you're torn up, and probably could do with lots of support yourself. When it's a younger friend, sometimes another seperate wake away from his family is the best way to remember the friend that you knew - who may be very different from the brother/father/responsible family man that his family knew.
It generally gets better with time, although there is no right amount of time to grieve for, and indeed no right or wrong way to grieve. If things don't move on CRUSE bereavement counselling can be helpful although are a bit hit and miss. Sometimes an event like this can precipitate an episode of depression, something to keep an eye out for, but be wary of anyone who suggests antidepressants without exploring other avenues.
mcmoonter - Member
I've had that same phone call from a friends wife. Its a tough one.Our friend was the guy who inspired a whole lot of folks to get into mountainbiking way back in the early eighties.
We have an annual ride in his memory, though to be honest I think about his enthusiasm on most every ride I go out on. His death made me think a lot more about the things that matter to me in my life.
Bigyinn, no it was Phil Williamson. His brother Robin ran a bike shop in Stockbridge in Edinburgh in the 80s.
Bigyinn, no it was Phil Williamson. His brother Robin ran a bike shop in Stockbridge in Edinburgh in the 80s
mine is the same friend as mcmoonter, i was the last person to ride with him. he was a great friend and mountainbiker and there isnt a ride i go on and dont think of him riding beside me.
if ever i think of a reason for not riding i remind myself that he cant to inspire me.
it just started snowing but im going out for my homanany ride anyway
this ones for you phil (with us always)
happy new year to all
only just found this - so sorry for your loss
my condolences to you and his family/friends.as others have said,think of the good times,that definitely helps.take care mate.
Can't even begin to imagine how you feel, you must be seriously down. Most sincere condolences, mate.
Sorry to hear that. That's awful.
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