My brother is in Haitaita in Wellington NZ with his partner and my familiy havent heard from him for nearly 3 weeks. His girlfriend is a bit unhinged and has diagnosed mental illness (BDP Borderline Personality Disorder which sort of means she’s bipolar)

Nobody has heard from him since 30th september but my mum has had a few conversations with his GF.. always making some excuse that he cant come to the phone or he’s out. He’s not read any FB messages or posted on there since 30th sept. Phoned his mobile phone several times about an hour ago which rang but nobody answered.. then was turned off. Everyone is pretty worried about him. Hes not the best communicator but has no reason to ignore us. How long do we wait before reporting him missing??

…bit unhinged…

Nice.

Report him missing now, the Police will check on his well being, and then he can remain ‘missing’ if that’s his choice.

General note in the UK at least ‘Missing Person’ often just means person who wants to be left alone, why is why so few ‘missing persons’ are ‘found’ by the families. The Police satisfy themselves that the person is OK, and that is the end of the matter, they can’t by law pass those details onto the concerned (unless the missing person is not responsible for themselves by way of age or mental health)

…bit unhinged…

The OP knows her better and why can’t he use whatever phraseology that he likes?!

I think you’ve got enough grounds to be concerned OP. If anything it’d get him in trouble for avoiding all communication due to genuine family concern. Worsecase you’d jump on a flight wouldn’t you then you’d be really pissed at him if he was simply avoiding contact.

I sincerely hope everything is ok and its just a family perceived tiff. all the best.

I haven’t let on to my family but Ive had an awful feeling all week that something is not right. Contact police here or in NZ?

Have you tried contacting a few of his mates from Facebook, perhaps they have heard from him more recently. I have no idea how long you should wait to report him missing, but it probably wouldn’t hurt to ring the local police there and fill them in on the situation even if you think its a bit OTT at the moment. Perhaps they could make a call to the address. I am sure your brother would understand knowing that you tried to contact him the past three weeks to no avail.

The best of luck. Things are rarely as bad as you think.

There may be someone along soon from Wellington who could knock on for you. I have a friend in Wellington I could at least ask, if you are getting desperate.

Does he have a job there?

Contact the Police here. Ask them that at this stage could the communication be between yourself/them and your family not to know for now? I’d do it today TBH- why spend all weekend worrying?

I’d do it now. It won’t stop you worrying, but you’ll know you’ve done what you can to move the situation forward.

Depending on what the Wellington police say, I’d probably take OrmanCheep up on his kind offer as well. It may not be possible for his friends to try to make contact in this way, but it would be another way to progress.

Having being in a somewhat similar situation to yourself, I can say that yes I felt a bit foolish when all proved well, but that everyone who had helped felt we had been reasonable in acting on our worries and I’m glad we did.

Good luck.

I would contact local Police in New Zealand now, you have nothing to lose by doing so.

Not quite the same situation, but since summer 2011 I had a bike in for repair, left by a very nice bloke from Edinburgh. Ne never came back for it, and all calls, emails and messages to his Facebook account went unanswered. I was seriously wondering if he’d died or something.

But he got in touch and picked it up last week – it was just a combination of forgetfulness, being busy, changing contact details and stuff like that. It’s very unlikely to be as serious as you think.

I would contact local Police in New Zealand now, you have nothing to lose by doing so.

+100 for this

OrmanCheep – Member
There may be someone along soon from Wellington who could knock on for you. I have a friend in Wellington I could at least ask, if you are getting desperate.

The power of STW, gotta love stuff like this.

Think NZCol from these parts is not far from Haitaitai?

Good luck with your search.

Thanks for the responses so far.. If there is still no response by later this evening it would be amazing if there was someone who could possibly pay a visit..

I think you should contact the police, you obviously have a genuine reason for doing so. It’s what they’re there for after all.

Police. You have reason to worry about him, they may be able to trace the gf’s location from her phone, and also check for bank activity by your brother (assuming the gf doesn’t have access to his account). She may also be more helpful when she realises the police are interested.

As well as contacting nz police assuming he’s british contact the embassy in nz they will co ordinate with local police. Good luck.

I think you should contact the police, you obviously have a genuine reason for doing so. It’s what they’re there for after all.

I live in NZ -Wellington Region, I’d call the Nz Police and outline your concerns. It is a long weekend here (“Bank” Holiday).

If this is out of charecter it should be reported. Better to be safe than sorry.

http://www.police.govt.nz/contact

Is he here on a working holiday?
Has he any contacts/collueages here apart from the GF?
Is the GF a kiwi?

email in profile if you need help/advice.

cloudnine – any news?

bump.

any news?

Hope he’s alright.
I’d call the Police it it were me just to check.

Curiosity and concern compel me to ask for an update .

I’m in Wellington, just 10 mins drive from Hataitai. NZcol is aother forumite who lives in this city as well.

Flick me an e-mail and I’ll see if I can do anything for you

talisker707 at gmail

Dan

I’ve mailed him – he’s been posting on other threads int he last day or two.

Thanks for the concern everyone.. he is ok. Wasnt until i started a missing persons status on FB that he decided to phone. No real explaination why he went awol except that he can be a dick. Thanks for the kind offers much appreciated that there are people out there willing to help out complete strangers.

Glad he is OK…

Glad he is OK, at least he knows you care. Also let him know not to be such a c0ck in future as he has stressed out a lot of apparently caring people, at the very least you and your mum.

Apologies if that sounds a little harsh.

Glad to hear he’s alive and well but he def’ deserves a clip for that.

This thread demonstrates there’s some very useful people around, not least on this forum.

Good work folks. 8)

🙂

I think he’s had a bit of a re-lapse with his drink problem and is pretty down at the minute. I wish he had something to distract himself from his nutjob girlfriend and to occupy himself rather than just drinking. Its frustrating that he’s in such an awesome place for mtb, snowboarding, surfing etc and he just sits around drinking and ignoring everyone. I would give my effin left nut to be in NZ with no real responsibilities. Thanks again for the responses.. much appreciated.

Glad to hear he’s safe for everyone’s sake.

Sadly based upon what you’ve said you are just going to have to accept this is how he’s going to behave certainly whilst he’s drinking. Hopefully he’ll show some understanding in future, but to be honest I doubt it.

Cloudnine, really glad all’s turned out ok, and this thread just confirms that there are wonderful people out there who will try to help a complete stranger. Re-establishes my faith in humanity, which is often left in tatters.

Are you totally sure you are talking to him and not just to someone else who has access to his login and password?

Maybe I read too many detective books..!