Is the problem that the top jockey is kissing the 36 sprocket or is the problem that it’s not indexing properly?
Firstly, you need a 9spd MTB mech, which it sounds like you have (Deore)
If the problem is the indexing then officially a 9spd MTB mech and 10spd road shifters are compatible. However, in practice they aren’t quite. I’ve fitted this setup on four separate occasions and they’ve all resulted in overshifting:
setup 1 – Ultegra 10spd STI, LX 9spd MTB rear mech
setup 2 – R770 10spd shifters, XT 9psd mech
setup 3 – 105 10spd STI, XT 9spd mech
setup 4 – 105 10spd STI, SLX shadow rear mech
and on all these setups, the mech was overshifting.
With the first three setups I was able to reduce the pull ratio by re-positioning the inner cable, further away from the pinch bolt, but this is a DIY bodge. Out of the box there is a definite overshift problem.