Non Biking –

A great one from when I was a younger non married drunken geologist –
When it gets to 1 am, dont give up hope, theres always one who wants it!
‘If ya know what I mean’ 😉

Biking –

Never miss the opportunity for a ride.

A pessimist is rarely disappointed and never outraged.

The first pipefitter I worked with told me to “never put you finger where you wouldn’t put your dick” when he caught me trying to line a pair of flanges up by putting my finger through the bolt holes. I still live by that advice today!

Ni La Na Gaoithe La Na Scoilb?

Gaelic for “dont piss in the wind” but literally means: dont decide to patch your roof the day of the storm. Good marital advice IME.

Never argue with an idiot, they’ll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

“If somethings hard to do then it’s not worth doing.” – Homer Simpson

“You tried and you failed. The lesson is, never try”. – Homer Simpson

“You need to believe in things that aren’t true. How else can they become?”

Terry Pratchett- Hogfather.

Not a Discworld reader but I came upon that line once and it’s stuck with me ever since.

That and the fabled “one love, one life, let’s get together and feel alright”. Timeless and true.

“Fit, sane, single…. choose any two” 😀

Oh, and:

“Keep the pen out the company ink”.

In the manual for a Honda quad;

“Stupid hurts”

What goes around comes around.

Always a good motto to follow, that and always give someone enough rope to hang themselves.

“Never play cards with a man called Doc.”

Get your retaliation in first.

with enough lubrication, you can do anything.

Take a coat when it’s fine, please yourself when it’s raining.

Go hard or go home.

‘his mother was German,& his Dad was Irish,which makes him a very efficient Idiot !’.

‘if ure not fast !,ure last !’

My lifetime motto has become “More by luck than judgement”…

**** ’em all, bar four. They can carry the stretcher.

F’k em all and let god sort em out…never trust a man with a moustache…

There’s more ways to kill a pig than choke it with strawberry’s.

Stand by the banks of the river long enough and the bodies of your enemies will float by……..

Always ride the horse the way it’s facing.

Once suggested to me by a Buddhist monk – ‘We all make our own world’

The difference between a good tradesman and a bad tradesman, is that the good tradesman learns from their mistakes

Three words to live by: Mindfulness, acceptance and attitude

😀

A few that stick in my mind:
In life you get what you settle for (Thelma and Louise 😀 )
The biggest risk in life is to risk nothing at all (read in Dirt’s Adam brytons interview earlier this year).
Don’t eat yellow snow (Bear Grylls….)

Life is not a dress rehearsal

You get what you give.

always follow your finger, never sit on a straw and never trust a cornflake especaily if it has crunchy nuts.

A few words a wise sage told me.

Pain is temporary, glory is forever, bones heal and chicks dig scars

never ever, ever, bloody anything, ever.

One day i’m going to be dead. So anything that happens between now and then is a bonus…

If in doubt, go faster.

Works in a surprising amount of situations.

You may be better looking than, you may be smarter than me, you may be more talented than me, but if we get on a treadmill together either you’re getting off first or I’m gonna die.

Never do today what can be put off until tomorrow.

Just remembered what Cam McCaul said once and it defines riding to me:

“As kids we learn, after touching a hotplate, not to do it again because it hurts. What is it about riding a bicycle that, no matter how much pain and damage is inflicted, we get up and start all over again?”

I don’t know if I’ll ever find an answer.

“fortune favours the brave”
Usually uttered shortly before a feeling of pain.

‘Put the fun between your legs.’ is a favourite of mine for cycling.

“under promise over deliver”, I even remember when that was one of the internal mottos for our company when dealing with customers. Just seemed right to adopt it and apply it to my career there!

Presumption is the mother of all c**k ups