Not sure how this happened, but I was chucking a heavy’ish bag intot he boot of a car and shutting the boot door at the same time when i lost my balance and slammed the boot door on my head.
Ambulance to hospital, several stitches and asked numerous times what happened and having to repeat myself over and over again.

Showing a child how safe a skateboard ramp was – do I really need to continue? The words “it’s perfectly safe look I’ll show you” and “phone your mum, I think I need an ambulance” seem to have a natural affinity.

Met a woman, back to her house, things are gong well, could I take her dog out for a walk, sure can, chucked a frisbee for the dog, stuck up a tree, went to get it, didn’t get stuck, did get a broken arm when I fell out the tree.

Funny, but I saw the same doctor in A&E as the skateboard incident, and he remembered me.

Putting up a picture for a friend with a stone walled cottage using a power drill with a non masonry bit. After drilling for ages i decided to gauge how deeply I’d drilled vs the length of the screw by putting my index finger on the tip of the drill and using my thumb to space to the depth.
I failed to notice the bit was a dull red in colour I did recognise the barbecue smell from my finger tip though.

Oh I almost forgot, fell off a climb whilst top roping, got spun around and hurt my back against the rock. If only I’d been wearing something on my back to protect me.

Ha! What are the chances eh?

Mine:

1) I once stood on a broom that was lying on the floor, and the handle shot up, cracked me in the face and gave me a black eye.

2) Rode my bike into a narrow six foot deep ditch (it was dark, no lights) and smacked my head on the other side. No helmet. I don’t have any recollection of riding home but i woke up in my bed the next morning and i was stuck to the sheets with all the blood.

Interesting to see all the DIY ones. When I was in minor injuries at Malvern getting my leg stuck back together (after stanley knife incident I mentioned) I asked the nurse if they got a lot of bikers from the hills, but she said that there were a lot more from DIY. A good reason to get out on the bike rather than put those shelves up!

Not sure how this happened, but I was chucking a heavy’ish bag intot he boot of a car and shutting the boot door at the same time when i lost my balance and slammed the boot door on my head.

The mental image of this is hilarious 😆

Whilst at school I opened a door quite forcibly into a mate of mine, thinking it would give him a fright… The door bounced back and hit me. No worries…
Went to the next lesson (Maths) and after about 10 minutes the teacher starts giving me the third degree about ‘not taking the class seriously’, ‘are you mocking me’ – The door had bounced back into my head and put a 2 inch slit in my forhead which was now bleeding quite profusely down the side of my face. The teacher had to come and have a good look and poke to make sure I wasn’t faking it before he let me go see the school nurse!

A week before a skiing holiday I slipped on a wet and mossy disabled ramp, which was placed outside the door of a tea room. My legs went from under me and I hit the concrete floor at the side of the ramp and was badly bruised and limped for a few days after.
I went in to complain some weeks later, when I noticed it had been removed, to discover that several other people has disabled themselves on the disable person ramp 😳

Managed to ski o.k though 🙂

I used to find I could run and jump over a 2″ square-section fence at work, which cut down a lot of time going around it to the gate. I could sprint, put one foot up to the fence, put a bit of weight on that foot but use it to guide me as the other foot came up and over and landed on the other side. One day I did it in the rain, the foot slipped down the front of the fence and I piled into the fence at full sprint, clobbering my hip and chipping a chunk of bone off it. That hurt a bit. Was good for a laugh for weeks at work though.

I rode into a boat on a trailer down my own drive and shifted the whole lot about 1cm sideways (big boat and trailer, total weight about 1.5t) with the impact. I’d decided I could lean RIGHT over and get a knee down as I peeled down the sloping drive. I couldn’t. The front wiped out and I hit the hull at about 20mph, bounced off it and slid 10ft down the drive and got stuck under the car parked at the bottom of the drive. I had to wait there until my parents came through from the back garden for lunch as I was properly pinned, having lifted the suspension of the car a bit and being jammed under it entangled with the bike which now had bent forks and pretzeled wheel.

That was embarassing.

Never trust your parents…

Years ago my Dad and I were cutting down a 10m silver birch tree in the garden. To stop it falling the wrong way (onto the road or the greenhouse) he tied a rope to it, passed the rope to me and told me pull as hard as I could. Being 14 I did as I was told. The chainsaw quickly did its business but instead of “TIMBER” all I heard was “RUN”. The tree fell towards me (of course) smacked me on the back and pinned me down. Took 15 mins for Dad to stop laughing and cut enough of the tree for me to squeeze out.

Just before Christmas (so a grown man with 2 children) I thought I’d broken my neck. In a soft-play centre!

I tell you, those places a lethal even with all that padding!

having a great laugh reading some of these, thinking glad it wasnt me, how ‘stupid’/unlucky can some people be, but then im thinking ive done similar to some of these enough said. favorite one though whilst wallpapering bedroom dropped something on the floor squatted down to retrieve it my a*** met the radiator bracket (id removed the radiator to get behind it) wife walked in said you look pale you ok explained story by which time could feel my legs getting wet yes blood running down leg, wife insisted i go go a&e and get it stitched refused on grounds of not going to a&e asking for my a***hole to be stitched up

Some absolute genius fails here.

After slicing through the cable on a hedge trimmer I purchased one of those two pronged garden cable connector things and wired them on. Sadly I wired them on the wrong way round so that the male end was connected to the mains. Not being aware of this fail and to reduce my chances of cutting the cable a second time I passed the live cable through a hole in my pocket intending to pass it back out the top of my shorts. It rested momentarily on my bell-end.

Another time whilst using a sledgehammer I glanced a post whilst on a full swing, the sledge continued to swing down and round straight into my lower shins throwing both feet backward and my upper body forward so that I smashed my face into the same post

Finally my number 1 fail. Climbing on some industrial racking I lost my balance and had no choice but to step off and try to make best the landing about 15ft below. No great issue only the was a set of pump trucks beneath me and I landed upon the upright lever handel with leg either side. I had testicles the size and colour of a pair of auborgines for weeks