I thought ‘Warning! Contents may be hot’ on the side of disposable coffee cups was bad enough…
However, at lunchtime today I went to buy some new astroturf trainers, on the side of one of the boxes was written in small writing, ‘Average contents: 2’
🙄

That’s been rounded up I reckon.

On a packet of peanuts: WARNING: May contain traces of nuts.

I should **** hope so pal!!

I did wonder whether there are people who’ve ordered them on mail-order and are wondering what to do with a spare size 10, meanwhile little Johnny is sat a home crying having received only one football boot for his birthday. Probably.

Best before date on salt?

That’s been rounded up I reckon.

Agreed. (-:

I got a bottle of water at the weekend, and the cap was labeled up “open by hand.” That’s where I’ve been going wrong all these years, trying to get the cap off with my feet.

Knock yourselves out:

http://engrishfunny.failblog.org/

the cap was labeled up “open by hand.”

Meaning as opposed to biting on the bastard and then choking on the cap.

To be honest it’s probably good that the average shoe box contains less than 2 shoes as the average person has less than 2 legs.

On a packet of peanuts: WARNING: May contain traces of nuts.

I should **** hope so pal!!

You are aware peanuts are not nuts, aren’t you?

Warning! Contents may be hot

In my last job, the IT dept were once asked to put a warning label on the water boiler (posh kettle thing for brewing up) at work after some dweeb put their hands under the spout. I argued the case for natural selection, but got accused of being awkward and reminded that health and safety was of paramount importance in the organisation.

Armed with the Dymo, I printed out “WARNING: Contents may be hot” and stuck it on the boiler. Looking around, I suddenly saw lots of other potential hazards and figured you can’t be too careful when you employ mouth-breathers. So I labeled up the fridge with “WARNING: Contents may be cool,” the water fountain with “WARNING: Contents may be wet” and so on. I kept going till the machine ran out of labels.

Oddly, that was the only time IT got asked to label something.

Meaning as opposed to biting on the bastard and then choking on the cap.

Yes yes, but that’s (arguably) less funny.

I have seen two thing from a local oriental grocery store:

Does not contain poison on tea

and

Ingredients: food

Just listening to Radcliffe & Maconie and a bloke who sells honey is putting a best before date of April 4012. The stuff found in King Tut’s tomb was still edible, apparently.

Oddly, that was the only time IT got asked to label something

I think I’ve read that story on b3ta before. Do you post on there?

wish I kept this one….bottle of water from M&S

“Caution: May contain traces of nuts
Ingredients: Water
Bottled in a factory where nuts are not present.”

WTF….

Most pointless thing written on packaging?

“Fragile” written on anything coming into contact with airport baggage handlers.

I think I’ve read that story on b3ta before. Do you post on there?

Wasn’t me if it was on B3ta (and isn’t a made up story on my part, either). I read it but I’ve never contributed. Wouldn’t surprise me if someone else had the same idea though.

I remember seeing a nice road frame with HIDDEN CABLE ROUTING or something similar, written along the top tube where the cable should have been.

Very good cougar.

Why does bottled spring water have a ‘best before date’, when it’s already been around naturally for tens of thousands of years filtering through the rocks and what-not?

In our lab storeroom there is a cardboard box containing rolls of cotton wool of various bright colours; green, orange, purple etc, each of which is in a clear plastic sleeve.
Some helpful person has gone through the whole box with a marker pen writing on them in large letters; “green”, “orange”, “purple” etc.

I can tell you the answer to the natural spring water one. But I’m so bored I can’t be bothered.

Why does bottled spring water have a ‘best before date’, when it’s already been around naturally for tens of thousands of years filtering through the rocks and what-not?

But it hasn’t been kept in a bottle for tens of thousands of years. TBH I’m surprised that bottled unchlorinated and unsterilised water lasts so long. The risk of algae growing with the available light and nutrients, and then dying, plus the bacteria which feeds on it should be reasonably high I would have thought – although apparently not.

Isn’t it pasturised first?

But it hasn’t been kept in a bottle for tens of thousands of years. TBH I’m surprised that bottled unchlorinated and unsterilised water lasts so long. The risk of algae growing with the available light and nutrients, and then dying, plus the bacteria which feeds on it should be reasonably high I would have thought – although apparently not.

Not to mention the constituent chemicals of the plastic bottle breaking down and leaching into the water – which I believe is why most also say that the bottle should not be refilled.

http://www.snopes.com/medical/toxins/plasticbottles.asp

Some helpful person has gone through the whole box with a marker pen writing on them in large letters; “green”, “orange”, “purple” etc.

Handy for those that are colour blind.

GrahamS – did you read the bit at the end of your link concerning drinking bottles for cyclists ? FFS 😐

I know it’s not a problem for you, but some of us who like to get on our bikes, specially road bikes, don’t really want to hear that.

MTFU: a bit of nut cancer never bothered Lance 😀

Charming…….did you pick up your ‘bedside manner’ off your missus ?

did you pick up your ‘bedside manner’ off your missus ?

Yep, that, my impeccable manners, my withering wit, and my itching cystitis. 🙂

and my itching cystitis

TMI