Hi

From a mixture of playground rumours between the mums, hearsay, and now articles in the national press it appears that the husband of the acting head mistress at my daughters school has been found guilty of having a 9 month affair with a 15 year old pupil at the school that he works at.

He is due for sentencing, and is claiming innocence and calling the victim a liar.

Now, I do not think it is right that the wife, my daughters acting headmistress, should be punished for the actions of her husband, but apparently she is standing by the husband.

As I see it, this position is untenable. We are now in a situation where the headmistress of the school is shown to take the side of the person who abuses their position of trust even when faced with a guilty verdict delivered by the court.

One of the kids in my daughters class has been withdrawn from school today due to the situation. Is this an over reaction? I am not sure exactly how to feel about this, but legally, if all of this is in fact true then can the head mistress legal continue in that capacity, or would she have her CRB clearance revoked due to living with a convicted offender?

There has been no communication from the school at all regarding this, so of course the information may be false or exaggerated, the mirror article is my main source of info.

If this all turns out to be true then any thoughts?

Why would she lose her Crb clearance? She’s not done the abusing and her believing her husband isn’t suddenly going to make her a bit rapey.

From the wife/acting heads point of view, maybe she trusts her husband and thinks there has been a miscarriage of justice. Should she be punished for holding this view?

In any case, unless she has somehow been implicated, I don’t see how it should affect her career directly, though I’d have thought the LA might have wanted her to change school so that she doesn’t have to deal with the girl (assuming she’s still at that school).

DBS checks (replaced CRB) only check the person, not other family members.

Unless there is a reason to think that they were complicit in an offence relevant to the checks.

mrhoppy – Member
Why would she lose her Crb clearance? She’s not done the abusing and her believing her husband isn’t suddenly going to make her a bit rapey.

Why let the facts spoil a good which-hunt. She’s obviously a paedo-enabler. ‘No smoke without fire’ etc etc

Cheers,

The Sun

Totally irrelevant to the school.

Until the employer decides otherwise, she is employed at the school and parents have a duty to send their kids there. No indication kids at her school are at risk.

Any issues need to go to the LEA or the governors or whoever runs the school.

He’s done wrong, he’s been caught, she’s bugger all to do with it, really.

No legal issue until he is convicted or dismissed. IIRC if he is barred from the profession she will also be so as long as she lives with him (or at least this ruling is apparently coming if not already in place).

Moral/ethical issue only you can make a call on.

As a husband I can understand her stance. As a teacher I can understand the horrible dilemma she faces.

I suspect that trial by twitter and FB will unleash merry hell on her and the school making her position untenable as the parents slowly kill her by innuendo for being a poor role model without looking at what they are doing.

If I liked the school and the head then I would not be worried personally
I suspect I will be in the minority

Agree with colournoise re dilemma.

Any local decision is up to school governors. I am sure they will be well aware and taking appropriate advice

Hey, with regards the CRB thing, I was asking an honest question. I do not know how they work or what criteria they use, I thought maybe it was possible that living with a convicted offender might have caused you to fail. If not then OK.

The bit that doesn’t sit right with me, is that even after the guilty verdict she takes the side of the abuser not the victim. Yes its her husband, and had it been any other job in the world almost I would have no issue with it, but to be a head teacher responsible for children and to make judgement calls like that. I’m not sure whats wrong with it, it just doesn’t sit well with me.

Anyway, if you guys all disagree I guess its just the overprotective dad gene kicking in

This would not cause me to take my child out of the school.

(I can see why the matter is on your mind, but see no benefit to the (your) child in being disrupted).

EDIT She either believes her husband, or doesn’t want to believe the alternative, neither of which are unusual reactions.

despite her husband been found guilty of a sex crime and having an affair .. shes standing by him..fair play to her shes closer to the facts/story than anyone other the husband and the 15yr old and if shes comfortable with him good on her.

Start a dialogue with the chair of governors, they’re the ones with any legal responsibility (none of the other governors do BTW).

Rational, looking at the facts, not getting involved in a witch hunt? Yep, you’re one of them.

totalshell, yes good summary, my the question then really is…..is her job the price to pay for standing by her husband, is standing by her husband and keeping her job having her cake and eating it too.

It depends on the level of clearance required for her position. At higher levels, yes they will look into who a person lives with or their spouse. You should be able to find this out I would think ? School Board ?

Thanks hels

Standing by your husband when you’ve done nothing wrong yourself just doesn’t seem such a terribly immoral thing to do. Is she actually taking his side in an active sense, or just not disowning him?

As I see it, this position is untenable. We are now in a situation where the headmistress of the school is shown to take the side of the person who abuses their position of trust even when faced with a guilty verdict delivered by the court.

To slightly complicate matters the verdict of a court doesn’t determine if someone has or hasn’t done something (as many guilty people who have got off, and innocent people who have been convicted can attest)

So to turn the moral dilemma round, if your wife had been found guilty by a court, but you believed that she hadn’t committed the crime that she had been accused of, what would you do?

See – it’s just like that nice Prince Andrew standing by his convicted friend…..

I’m sure there are some spouses in that situation.

Standing by your husband when you’ve done nothing wrong yourself just doesn’t seem such a terribly immoral thing to do.

despite her husband been found guilty of a sex crime and having an affair .. shes standing by him

In the other thread regarding a sex offender no one could work out why the other half was sticking by her man. What’s different here?

IanMunro – I see what you are saying, and I agree with you that the guilty verdict is not 100% proof of guilt, but it is about as close as you can get in this situation.

In terms of standing by my wife in a similar situation, if she had been incorrectly found guilty of a child sex offense, and I was in a position of responsibility for children I think I would expect my standing by her to either cost me my job, or for me to be suspended while any appeal went through. If she had been falsely convicted of shoplifting i would expect to be able to stand by her while keeping my job writing SQL queries

The bit that doesn’t sit right with me, is that even after the guilty verdict she takes the side of the abuser not the victim. Yes its her husband, and had it been any other job in the world almost I would have no issue with it, but to be a head teacher responsible for children and to make judgement calls like that. I’m not sure whats wrong with it, it just doesn’t sit well with me.

She believes him when he says he’s done nothing wrong and that the girl is telling lies.

It wouldn’t be the first time that’s happened, and it won’t be the last !

Her husband and family are probably more important to her than anything else.

I’d like to think I would stand by my wife if I believed she was telling the truth, and I hope she would do the same for me.

(We aren’t married but you see my point)

Does she smell of hammers?

In Bristol? Similar situation referred to on Facebook.

Does she teach at the same school he worked at? If not then I don’t see a problem as it’s him that’s been found guilty and not her – although I can imagine it’ll make carrying out her job difficult at times.

Given miscarriages of justice do occur then she can’t necessarily be condemned for thinking her husband is innocent, unless she’s acting in an unprofessional manner with public pronouncements etc.

London

The issue really is :

does the husbands offence impact on her ability to do her job or the safety of children in the school ? answer no.

Does her willingness to stand by her husband and try and save her marriage mean she would condone ignore or encourage such behavior in a member of her staff with one of her pupils ? answer no

Do you want your child’s school do go through a load a of disruption and compromise your child’s education while parents go on a tabloid frothed Pedo by proxy hunt ? Up to you .

Personally I would condemn him but support her in her job . If she ever asked me for advise about her personal life I would suggest she ditch him but her personal life is just that.

I would do nothing. No reason to. Not my business and unlikely to affect my child’s education other than having a distracted acting head.

epicsteve, – different schools. But yes she has spoken out to the press saying that her husband is innocent and this liar has ruined her life. It’s this outspoken support in the face of the evidence that gets me.

I am on the side of leave it and let her get on with it I think, it probably hasn’t appeared that way as I feel I have been defending myself against “how dare you think about this and ask the question, which-hunt (sic), over reacting” type comments, aside from the legal issue it’s just an interesting topic for discussion of opinion.

I would imagine the best the lady can hope for is that she hangs on as acting head mistress until they appoint someone else as the full time head.

If i was able to pick an outcome I think I would go for her seeing the light, dumping the husband, and keeping the job

I would imagine the best the lady can hope for is that she hangs on as acting head mistress until they appoint someone else as the full time head.

That’s what probably would have happened anyway, regardless of her husband.

I take it this was the guy in Bexleyheath that’s due for sentencing next week?