Crashed at glentress and getting up I noticed a felled tree next to me with lots of short sharp looking branches sticking out literally inches from my ribs. I snapped every branch off that tree just in case the next person to overshoot the corner wasn't as lucky as me.
Moments when you've had a lucky escape from your own stupidity.
Also RCD'S are fantastic!
When I was much younger, I had a bullet belt (15 year goth) and a fascination with gunpowder... I filled a bullet casing from said belt with the contents of a banger, little realising what the consequences would be... And did this in the living room of my parents empty and newly uninsured house (we were moving)
When the gunpowder ignited, an incredibly loud bang was followed by a blinding, fiery flash and pain in my calf. I was incredibly disoriented (temp blind and deaf) and remember thinking "shit....I've set fire to the house".... When I got my wits about me I realised the damage was limited to a huge scorch mark up the wall and part of a shredded bullet casing embedded in my calf muscle (which smarted a touch, let me tell you)... A very lucky escape all in.
I said earlier I had never done anything stoopid! - well I lied. So there I was, 18 yrs old with me new compound bow. Tape one of me brothers shotgun shells to the tip of the arrow (with a ball bearing over the percussion cap) and launch skywards. Ehhhm - what actually happened was that one very unbalanced arrow ( now there's a surprise ) goes horizontal pronto onto the hard standing of the old local aerodrome and goes bang. The brighter among you will have figured out which way the pellets were now heading - that would be everywhere young man cos they are no longer contained within a nice shotgun barrel. Simultaneously I figure this out and get very friendly with the ground. That was one of my nine lives used up as well as a pair of underpants.
There was also the time I was working on a roof in a rainstorm that had migrated from the amazon. The power cables on the end of the house were shorting out and the electrictricity was making its way along the asbestos slates. I found this out when I leaned over from the scaffolding to pass me boss and touched the roof " **** me I says I think the roof is live" - the boss says " I did wonder that myself". Ya ****!!!!!!
Driving a hundred and something miles to the Quantocks on one of those days that police and weather forecasters ask you not to go out under any circumstances, go for a ride, come back to find a four foot diameter tree lying two foot away alongside the car.
Stooging aound on skis on a glacier at the Grands Montets, Argentiere, looking for good snow with my skiing buddy behind me. Didn't realised that glaciers do change shape from year to year and suddenly found myself on blue ice, heading for an ice cliff, unable to get an edge in and stop. Skis went away from under me and as I slid over the edge on my hip, feet first, I remember thinking I needed to keep my legs together for the landing. About 20 feet below I landed in the crevasse, which was choked with snow. Then realised my mate was right behind me so I rolled to one side and a second later he landed where I had been, landing face down and dislocating his shoulder. Cue a swearing session then an "Aaargh" and his shoulder relocated itself and we picked ourselves up and skied back down, much chastened. I think skiing into a crevasse must be one of the most unpleasant ways to die because they are often a thin wedge shape and you slide down and are killed by your own weight compressing your ribcage.
Ooo Globalti, not as serious but very recent..... Skiing in a white out, guy in front disappears but I'm not watching him so think he's just behind a bump. He went over an unseen 20' drop off but stayed in the landing zone faffing. The look on his face when I did exactly the same will stay with me for some time... 80kg of freefall Boblo+very sharp skis must have concentrated his mind....
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