Milkman delivers a 4 pint plastic bottle early mornings.
Twice now in the last fortnight it's been gone by the time we open the door at about 7am.
My first thought was:
Get milkman to leave milk out of sight around the side of the house.
Carefully remove tamperproof top from a milkbottle.
Remove contents. Swill some white paint around inside surface.
Add dog s#1t and top up with liquid.
Refit tamperproof top and hope that said thief gets as far as his morning cuppa.
Following extensive psychological profiling etc, we've concluded that the prime suspect is likely to be someone on way to work on the nearby industrial estate.
Any other suggestions short of semtex and a mercury tilt switch would be welcome.