Viewing 40 posts - 1 through 40 (of 53 total)
  • Men: know your domestic appliances
  • simonfbarnes
    Free Member

    I bought a Henry vacuum cleaner, but after a year or so I noticed the suction getting worse and worse, so it was hardly picking up. Then I discovered that they have to be emptied. Now it's much lighter and works properly again! Who'd have thought it ?

    DaveGr
    Free Member

    Similar thing with the fridge – called the engineer out and he was a bit baffled when I said it was no longer automatically filling up with food and beer. He eventually traced it to breaking down when the ex g/f left.

    simonfbarnes
    Free Member

    your story is sadder 🙁 [wipes tear]

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    simonfbarnes
    Free Member

    also I now believe in magic as I accidentally posted this to the wrong forum and it fixed itself :o)

    WorldClassAccident
    Free Member

    I remember when I first left home being amazed that bins kept filling up.

    Kahurangi
    Full Member

    sfb – you serious?

    At least you could be a professional. When I worked as a scout during university vacations (glorified student halls cleaner), many of the scouts had no idea that Henrys required regular emptying, let alone had a disposable bag to take the waste. They must have thought they were magic!

    Onzadog
    Free Member

    It cuts both ways. The wife still hasn't worked out the wonders of the self cleaning, self repairing mountain bike she owns.

    cinnamon_girl
    Full Member

    I'm impressed you know where the kitchen is 😉

    DaveGr
    Free Member

    I'm impressed you know where the kitchen is

    It's the place with the sink where you can degrease and clean bike parts 😆

    ernie_lynch
    Free Member

    You sound like a right sexist male SFB.

    And one who is clearly and hopelessly shackled to outdated sexual stereotyping. I reckon you urgently need to get more in touch with your 'feminine side' mate ……………you chauvinistic pig you 😕

    I have to say that I'm a little surprise ……………. and really rather disappointed 😐

    simonfbarnes
    Free Member

    You sound like a right sexist male SFB

    1) no women were harmed in the making of this post
    2) it was a woman who suggested the emptying idea…
    3) am I serious? – well, I suppose I was aware in some theoretical way that emptying was possible, but it had just never occurred to me that it was soon enough

    ernie_lynch
    Free Member

    2) it was a woman who suggested the emptying idea…

    So you asked a woman not a man then ?

    Clearly you hold on to outdated, reactionary, and oppressive, sexual stereotyping SFB.

    ………….I rest my case m'lud.

    samuri
    Free Member

    while the posts aren't serious, guys who really do have these difficulties (and I know plenty) are pathetic excuses for men and should be cast asunder. It seriously annoys me when I see blokes who have no idea how to look after themselves and still cling baby like to their mothers apron strings and rush round there for 'a decent meal' and to get their clothes washed. No doubt they enjoy a good piss up down the pub with their mates, a bit of flirting with the ladies and watching a good old football match while armchair managing the team and are considered by their similarly useless friends as good all round chaps, a proper bloke.

    Inadequate, snivelling, boys.

    horlicks@hoxton
    Free Member

    whats a vacuum cleaner?

    simonfbarnes
    Free Member

    So you asked a woman not a man then ?

    no, she noticed me struggling :o) It would never have occurred to me to ask someone. Perhaps one day I might have taken it to bits to fix it…

    Kit
    Free Member

    Men: know your domestic appliances

    Now Simon. tut tut. Normally when we try and separate 'men' and 'women' on this 'ere forum, are you not normally the first to comment why we must make the sexes mutually exclusive, particularly with regards to moutainbiking? Therefore, on the theme of inclusiveness, should your topic not read "People: know your domestic appliances" ?

    😉 😆

    BillyWhizz
    Free Member

    My GF and I were visiting friends, they all started talking about the latest vacuum cleaners and someone turned to me and said "what model have you got" I said I didn't know, which is fair enough I think, then they asked what colour it was, which I also didn't know. Turns out I didn't know what the cover on the ironing board looked like, what we clean our bath with, or which cupboard the sieve is in.

    Luckily I've got a big c0ck, so I was excused.

    🙂

    ernie_lynch
    Free Member

    no, she noticed me struggling

    What ………. a woman comes round to your place and you just get on with the hoovering ?
    Is their no limit to contempt you show towards women SFB ?

    😯 X 2

    simonfbarnes
    Free Member

    Is their no limit to contempt you show women SFB ?

    she arrived whilst I was hurriedly cleaning up for her benefit :o)

    Therefore, on the theme of inclusiveness, should your topic not read "People: know your domestic appliances" ?

    good point Kit, but let's be realistic, this could only apply to men innit ?

    ernie_lynch
    Free Member

    she arrived whilst I was hurriedly cleaning up for her benefit

    I bet you wouldn't have been 'hurriedly cleaning up' if it was a bloke/mate coming round. Obviously you have different standards for women and men. Despite the fact that women have an inalienable right to be treated as equals to men.

    I have to say SFB, this revelation of the sexist and chauvinistic side of your character, has been a real eye-opener for me …………… I'm really very disappointed.

    😯 X 3

    uplink
    Free Member

    I can pretty much take care of myself apart from the ironing
    Now I – naturally – don't particularly think there's a great need for it but I guess that over the years I've been indoctrinated as to its necessity.
    I've come to the conclusion that women have the ironing gene & men simply don't, now I know some of those metrosexual types can do it easily but they're already half turned so don't count.
    Some men can learn to do it reasonably well but it's never 2nd nature to us [excepting the ponces already referred to above] & always seem to have to concentrate more.

    OH – 😉

    BTW our Henry hoover is self emptying AFAIK 😀

    Stoner
    Free Member

    Henry's are a Man's hoover.

    You'll never see a wishy-washy nancy-boy Dyson in the back of a builder's truck.

    samuri
    Free Member

    I've come to the conclusion that women have the ironing gene & men simply don't, now I know some of those metrosexual types can do it easily but they're already half turned so don't count.
    Some men can learn to do it reasonably well but it's never 2nd nature to us [excepting the ponces already referred to above] & always seem to have to concentrate more.

    Don't tell every bloke in the armed services who can all iron a knife edge crease into their trousers that they're turning gay then.

    uplink
    Free Member

    Don't tell every bloke in the armed services who can all iron a knife edge crease into their trousers that they're turning gay then.

    As I said – men can do it, but it's not an instinctive skill [for most] 😉

    iDave
    Free Member

    never understood the requirement to flatten clothes with an iron – what's wrong with creases?

    STATO
    Free Member

    or which cupboard the sieve is in.

    Trick question, its never in the same cupboard twice!

    stumpy01
    Full Member

    SfB, I would say you are clearly vacuuming too much.

    When I was at uni, there were blokes who would only cook frozen-ready meals or beans on toast. Or others who would go home every weekend & pick up 'next weeks food' from their mums who had made them a weeks worth of food in individual tupperware containers so they just had to microwave them.

    One of my mates also put his clothes in the tumble drier, mistaking it for the washing machine & chucked one of those balls full of washing liquid in with it too. It took him a while to work out why his clothes came out all crispy with dried on washing liquid.

    simonfbarnes
    Free Member

    Obviously you have different standards for women and men. Despite the fact that women have an inalienable right to be treated as equals to men.

    yes, I do believe you're right. I had stereotyped her by assuming she'd prefer not to have to wade through mud on the living room carpet 🙁 I'm ashamed.

    Don't tell every bloke in the armed services who can all iron a knife edge crease into their trousers that they're turning gay then.

    well it's at least evidence of strange compulsions 🙁

    clubber
    Free Member

    ernie_lynch – Member

    I bet you wouldn't have been 'hurriedly cleaning up' if it was a bloke/mate coming round. Obviously you have different standards for women and men. Despite the fact that women have an inalienable right to be treated as equals to men.

    SfB is probably quite happy to admit that he tries to get into womens' pants but not mens'… 😉

    IanMunro
    Free Member

    Ah so he's homophobic as well as sexist.

    clubber
    Free Member

    Indeed 🙁

    I always said that he was one to avoid…

    meikle_partans
    Free Member

    my wife tried to tell me how to use a chopping knife the other day. i complained that we needed some decent chefs knifes which arent all bendy and actually have an edge rather than trying to saw at an onion like i was chopping down a redwood. she said i was doing it wrong. i wasnt. she then asked if i was getting angsty because she had insulted my manhood and knife using skills. i said yes. i just thought i would share.

    GrahamS
    Full Member

    Sounds like you were doing it wrong.

    DaRC_L
    Full Member

    Re knife's – knife sharpening = man's job 😉

    Although I blame the snivelling excuses for men that can't cook, clean, iron on their mothers (who obviously like them that way).

    As the quote goes "A human being should be able to change a nappy, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects."

    Flaperon
    Full Member

    We've never put a bag in our Henry. Stops it picking up all the rubble left behind from our various building projects. They're pretty much indestructible – ours has fallen off scaffolding, been left outside in the rain, expected to pick up sand / nails / stone / HUUUUGGEE amounts of dog hair and has never put a foot wrong.

    And it's always smiling.

    Stoner
    Free Member

    A human being should be able to change a nappy, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly."

    Hmmm. Im nearly there. I've just got to start a poetic war at sea!

    Who wants to go bash the French?!
    In a ship, this time, not a trench!

    🙂

    simonfbarnes
    Free Member

    I blame the snivelling excuses for men that can't cook, clean, iron

    Isn't it more complicated ?
    I don't have any clothes that would benefit from ironing, or an iron. I have theoretical knowledge of cookery but usually rely on heating. There always seems to be something more interesting to do than cleaning…

    PeterPoddy
    Free Member

    she arrived whilst I was hurriedly cleaning up for her benefit :o)

    Ahh that's sweet. SFB's on the pull!
    😉

    coffeeking
    Free Member

    That "quote" (where's it from?) is pretty broad, I mean most of the things on it are rather specialised (conn a ship, program a computer). I'd say 90% of the population couldn't do either of these properly. There's no point being a jack of all trades and a master of none, humans have survived due to the ability to organise and give and take orders, so that individual strengths are used properly, not by being able to do little bits of everything themselves.

    I can do anything you ask me to, it just depends on how well you want it doing and whether or not I want to do it.

    DaRC_L
    Full Member

    The quote is from Robert Heinlein's character Lazarus Long… are humans more jack of all trades (able to survive in a wide range of temps, omnivorous etc…) rather than specialists?

Viewing 40 posts - 1 through 40 (of 53 total)

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