I have one, after catching my handlebar on a fence and falling about 8 feet into a hidden gorge, landing in a stream with the bike on top of me. Now my left bum cheek is twice the size of the right and really rather pert-looking. Will I die etc etc

i have nothing to say but 😆

sorry 😳

This thread is useless absolutely fine without pix.

You are Mutya Beun and I claim my £5…

Dat Ass.

That’s me! No tats though…

I thought this was a Michael Gove thread 😳

My arse, yesterday…

Nice haematoma mister.

BING BONG

*Derek_Starship to the forum please – bruising in aisle C*

Good god man.

What are those pants?

They’re leaving an indent! – G-string perhaps? sans pics tho…

Bjorn Borg, I’ll have you know

He needs them back, they don’t fit you 😆

Aaaargh! My eye! Oh, wait, wrong thread. Though the bruise does look a bit like Casper the friendly ghost if you squint a bit.

They’re leaving an indent! – G-string perhaps? sans pics tho…

everything’s leaving an indent. My buttock is larger than normal (see original post).
I don’t think the angle is flattering.

Now that’s what I call a spanked arse !

Are they support pants?

My buttock is larger than normal

it isn’t, the other one’s just farther away.

it is purple though. What with the colour scheme, the pantie styling and the cocked leg pose, you’re in with a chance of being Mr April on the female fans of West Ham Utd calendar.

It’s a good job you can’t see my lawn.

is that a euphemism?

I think his huge purple thing is blocking the view down the garden.

If you squint a bit that looks like a hedgehog with a fishes tail.

You may also need alcohol to see it clearly.

reconsidered comment – as you were

If you squint a bit that looks like a hedgehog with a fishes tail.

Nope, not getting that, though I do think I see a pathetic shark.

Oooh, a man’s bottom 😀

You’ll have to get your other cheek ‘augmented’ now to really do them hot pants justice 😯

Oooh, a man’s bottom

And how would you know?

And how would you know?

With pants like that, it couldn’t possibly be a woman’s.
No, surely not.
It isn’t, is it?

Lady Gresley – Member
And how would you know?

With pants like that, it couldn’t possibly be a woman’s.
No, surely not.
It isn’t, is it?

I’m not sure, post a pic of yours and we’ll compare.

What?

I’m not sure, post a pic of yours and we’ll compare.

Of my pants? They’re big, but not that big 🙂

[video]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ImZTwYwCug[/video]

Looped a quad bike a few years back (2003?) and landed on my arse mostly.

Lump on one of my bum cheeks like a tennis ball, so went to the doctors. The quack decided to draw the blood off using a needle and syringe, pouring the drawn blood into one of those little cardboard sample pots.

The image of the doctor ditching the inadequate sample pot, and removing a plant from its pot, to use the pot as the receptacle for my blood is I an image that I thought I had eradicated from my memory.

Thanks for bringing it back to life for me…

I thought this going to be about a Massive Attack side project.

cruzcampo, what’s wrong with that? Tis a nice shapely lady.

bigyinn – Member
cruzcampo, what’s wrong with that? Tis a nice shapely lady.

Nothing whatsoever 8)