What are the most arduous and horrific ways to antagonise marketing people? I have one that is taking up a lot of our time (psychometric tests was the straw) and I was hoping you guys may have some inspiration on how I can legitimately use up a lot of theirs.

What is the most essential, yet most time consuming marketing activity that can be done?

Ingle pop

[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gDW_Hj2K0wo[/video]

Do you mean telemarketers, or people who work in the marketing departments of companies? If it’s the latter, just take their crayons away…

Yeah, I know. That is kinda how I feel, but I need to be able to work with these people and hopefully understanding a little more about what they do will ensure I can keep them busy.

people who work in the marketing departments of companies

Them’s the ones.

Jangle bright bart

give them a pantone swatch book,…and watch them squabble

just ask them to do an ROI.

Close all the local trendy coffee shops in a 3 mile radius.

Force them to use normal language?

If you instructed these guys then just tell them thank you but we don’t need you anymore .

It’s really simple and probably less of a waste of your time than asking on here how you can waste theirs…

You know this forum is marketing the magazine don’t you? It’s why it has the same name

Get them to both understand and justify 650b

I worked for 10 years in the marketing Depts of a large oil/coal/gas distribution co. 5 years in their Oil Dept and 5 years in their central ‘group’ dept. Bestest time ever in my early working life, wined and dined by suppliers, loads of xmas gifts from suppliers, poncing about on photo shoots and mingling with the key movers and shakers in the company, maximum head office perks, lots of opportunities to bunk off early on the pretence of visiting 3rd parties, on the cutting edge of stuff going on in the company, flash pool cars at your disposal as well as a company car, big budgets to squander, directly involved in all the sexy stuff. Was fantastic fun for a 20+ year old. Only downside was the often 24/7 work, massive pressure around deadlines and you’re spending rather than a making money for the company, when times are bad, your the first to go. At 30 and a couple of redundancies I opted for less money/pressure/perks for job security and massively less hours (I got fed up with driving to London at 3am, living out of a suitcase, lots of unpaid driving and stuff like that).

Just ask for slight changes to whatever artwork/copy they’re making for you, but only after seeing the final product each time.

just ask them to do an ROI

This is what I needed to know.

ROI with Pivot tables cross referenced to the contacts dbase, then three years projections based on all available industry data projecting at least three different scenarios. Don’t tell them why you need or what the different scenarios are, then let them go off and be quiet for about 8 mtgs, then sack them.

Ask them to create a competitor analysis, and keep adding competitors to it.

Ask them to quantify the benefits of their various activities.

You know this forum is marketing the magazine don’t you?

What magazine?

[quoteYou know this forum is marketing the magazine don’t you? It’s why it has the same name[/quote]

Is it ?

Would surprise me if this website and road cc are equal to the mags.

I ask them to explain the product they’re marketing.

Ask them to justify their claims with properly researched facts and figures.