Some of my friends seem to have a natural talent for getting it a bit wrong when they open their gobs. Here are a few highlights:
"I'm loaded with the cold. I've just been to the herbalist to get some euthanasia".
"It's no skin off my teeth."
"You can kill two birds with one bush!"
When attempting to compare my daughter to Shirley Temple: "Aww, look at those curls! She's a wee Shirley Bassey."
And my personal favourite: "I've got an exhaust in my hole!"
Asking me about 10 at Kirroughtree: "Are you doing 10 Under the Tree this year?"
In the market for a new pair of running shoes, he attempts to ask me about the shop where I buy mine, Achilles Heel: "You really rate that Athlete's Foot shop, don't you?"
He also spent his first month riding on SPDs calling them "DHBs".
Got anything to beat those?