One more angel tonight watches over us, One more bright star in the sky.So sad to have to read this tonight. My prayers are with you , your partner and children.

I lost my wee boy 4 years ago. The first year is the hardest.

So sorry to hear someone else going through the same, my thoughts are with you and your family – feel free to give me a shout if you need to talk.

I dont think you ever get over it, but the pain lessens with time – you kinda learn to live with it. Sometimes I think of him and smile, sometimes I get caught unawares and it knocks me hard.

Deepest sympathies to you and your family – stay strong for each other!

I dont know you but I’n thinking of you dude, manhugs x

My deepest heartfelt condolences to you & your family.

It’s the worst fear of all parents. I cannot find words that are adequate to be honest. Come on here and lean on us whenever you feel the need mate.

I fell asleep for an hour or so straight on this site just had a good read and all I can say really is thank you all so so much at your lovely replys.

Yes at everyone I have read its made me cry so so much and in a way I do fill a tiny bit better.

My autistic son Alfie is 6 my other daughter Mae is 5

As for the army thing as a couple of you have mentioned im only TA serving so dont have any benifits to that help but im sure if I call my welfare officer he would help/point me in the way to go.. To be honest I dont think I could do the whole army thing anymore specially MATTs first aid

I just feel numb im trying to think of other things coz at the momebt I just cant cope..

Thanks again people xxxx

Bruders,

Thoughts are with you and your family. Keep strong.

**** me that’s awful. My heart goes out to you, your wife and family.

that is terrible mate, condolences to you and your family.

Really sorry to hear such terrible news bruders. I have no words of advice other than to say stick together as a family through what will be some dark days ahead. Your partner will need a lot of support, as will you.

As an aside, I have a mate who lost one of his twins (from SIDS) at around the same age as you just have. He and his wife have always been really open about the whole thing. If you’d like me to ask him any questions or find out the names of any support groups they used through their bereavement, my email is in my profile.

I really hope you all can get through this. Take care fella.

We had to speak to our schools Educational Psychologist a couple of weeks ago about an 8 year old who’s dad had committed suicide. The advice was to be completely honest but without being graphic. It was all about making sure he would be OK long term rather than just getting it out of the way. It was more tricky for mum right then but doing what is hopefully the right thing isn’t always easy…
Very little experience of autism but this is one change you can’t manage for him. As soon as you can talk to his school about it and getting some advice from their Ed Psych and don’t feel bad about it. It is well within what a school can deal with, you aren’t being a burden.

Lastly, as a dad who woke up in his two and a half year olds bed because she couldn’t sleep and went through to see the nine month old in with her mum, I guess she couldn’t either, I am just devastated for you. You will be strong for your family, and it won’t seem like enough, but don’t forget to get some help and support for you. You will need it just as much.
As with others, email in profile if there is any chance you think I/we can help.

So very sorry to hear of your loss. My thoughts are with you and your family.

So,so sorry.Words are normally so powerful,but have so little meaning for something like this.

Bruders, lot of support here for you and speak to friends, don’t bottle it in, so early but in time maybe bereavement counseling? Do be there to support your family but don’t forget to look after yourself, maybe a ride might help clear your head?

So sorry to hear this , worst nightmare ever ….. stay strong for your partner and daughter …. thinking of you all … nothing else we can say 🙁

I think that why for some strange reason I ended up at my LBS they have become more like friends rather than just a shop.

I find it easyier to talk on here than I do to people at the moment I honestly cant thank you guys/ girls enough

Big Hugs to you and your family. I used to work with a bloke who’d lost a wee one in similar circumstances and as mentioned above he was really open about it too. I think you’re doing the right thing talking to people. I don’t have any other words of advice other than talk to your family and maybe some support groups etc.

All the best, what a terrible thing to happen.

Keith

Wow; I don’t know what to say. No parent should ever have to go through losing a child. I don’t have kids of my own, but I can’t imagine what you’re going through. All that I can say is that I really feel for you.

One of the posters above said that he went through the same thing many years ago. If I was in your situation, I’d certainly give him a shout.

Again, my thoughts are with you and your family, all the way from the US.

So, so sorry to hear your awful news. As others have said, a parent’s worst fear. There’s been a lot of good advice already, and not much I can add, but the hospital may well have someone to speak to for advice right now, and be able to put you in touch with some local support for you and the kids too.

On a separate note, it never fails to astound me what a good place this is to come when you really need some support. For all the banter and bickering, there are some truly thoughtful and caring people on this site.

Thinking of you all, and as others have said, try not to keep it in.

From one father to another all my thoughts are with you. Be strong, and do not forget which ever way you turn people are there for you, even if some of us are just strangers on a forum.

I don’t know where to start other than to say all my thoughts are with you, God bless.

such sad news… My thoughts are with you all. Cherish my Boy and will do something special with him today.

I’ve simply no words to offer. I cant even begin to understand how you are feeling right now.

I just want to hug you.

As a father of 3, I couldn’t even begin to imagine how I’d feel in your shoes. It’s 😥 making me well up trying.
All I can say is that my thoughts are with you and your family right now.
It’s times like these when you realise that life is all too precious and can change in the blink of an eye.

Almost lost my son two years ago. It was heart rending, but we got him back. So can’t imagine how you are at the moment. Take care. We are all thinking of you.

if there were ever a time i’ve wanted to give a stranger the biggest man-hug possible its now. my thoughts are with you and your family,as i’m sure are everyone who’s reading this thread and can’t find the words or get through the tears to type a reply.

Can’t add anything that hasn’t already been said – just deepest, deepest sympathies.

So very sorry. Big love from my family to yours.

Our thoughts are with you. Cherish and love even more the three that you have.

So sorry to hear of your loss 🙁

Deepest condolences to you and your family.

As others have said already, this is my worst fear. I wish I could say something of value but I’m rubbish with this kind of stuff. Maybe all I can say is if you want to talk about it then do so; likewise if you’d prefer to bottle up (and process?) some emotions for a while then do that instead. I guess the fact you’re opening up on here is a good thing and no doubt others will offer greater help/advice.

Written while playing with my 2yr old.

No kids here, but this has knocked me for six, so can’t imagine how you are feeling.

Once again this forum shows it’s true colours with all the offers of support from people who have experienced similar.

Sorry to hear of your loss…

bruders. After a bit of a think I can only suggest you keep talking so you don’t end up bottling it up – you may want to contact Cruse, the bereavement charity who can provide support. Be honest with your children – that will make it easier for them long term (We did and I think it worked). As someone has already said speak to the people at Alfie’s school because I am sure they will be able to help you explain it.

Be there for your wife and cuddle your eldest two a lot. They need you and you need them!

J.

I lost my first born son nearly 7 years ago now. No matter what anyone tells you, no one other than you and mummy will understand the pain and grief you will go through. As already mentioned on here you are in shock at the moment but don’t fight it. The only advice I would offer is to allow yourself to acknowledge that no matter what you are feeling, it is right for you to feel this way and that you owe no one an apology at any point. Your situation has left me in tears but leaves me remembering the strength I drew from my other half, please stay strong to each other as they are one person who can help you. My wife and I send our love and deepest support to your family.

If you want anyone to talk to whether by mail, over the phone or whilst out on the bike in the near or distant future then please contact me, my email is in my profile.

I managed to get another half hour sleep.. I dont think me and the Mrs have ever held each other so tight for so long..

I kinda stopped crying as I did most of it this morning just thinking to myself while she slept. Got to be strong now as mentioned for my beautiful little family.

And I hope one day I meet each and every one of you for a tea beer etc etc. I know we are strangers but all your kind words are helping.

Thank you so much I owe you all so much xxx

So sad to hear your news, as many have said above be strong for your family but don’t forget to give yourself time and opportunity to talk about your loss. Can’t begin to imagine what you are feeling, hugs for you all from the tiboy clan though…

You dont have to be strong for them just love them. Dont bottle anything up. Dont store it.

Our eldest daughter died when she was very young and I would just reiterate everything coldhams1 said. You in a very bleak place at the moment and it is not something you “get over”, you learn to live with it. Your son will always be with you as Tess is with us. Draw strength from your wife and other children, you all need each other very much now. My heart goes out to us, it really does. No one should have to go through what you are going through now.

My email is in my profile if you need it. My wife also works on the Child Death Helpline, 0800 282986. It is manned by volunteers who have been where you are right now, ring them.

Hugs to you and your family.

#Edit. Wise words from Hora. You are not a rock. You all need each other.

My deepest sympathies to you and your family.

Whatever you do, do not blame yourself or let your wife blame herself. Love each other. Don’t try and understand it. There are some things we can’t control and are beyond rationality, and this is one.
Sadly, been there…