Im so sorry, words cant say how much. Im a father to a 4 year old, we were told when he was 2 months old he wouldnt make it through the night, the anguish and pain were unimginable. I remember thinking I had to stay strong for my wife. You are allowed to grieve , try to be strong for your family. He will always be your son.

My thoughts are with you.

Scott

Man hug from one Dad to another.

OMG! I’m very saddened to hear your news and have my sympathy! No need for apologies – if posting here helps you through this, then that’s totally fine. I hope our responses help a little, but expect you’ll be feeling numb for a while and that no words from anyone on here will “touch the sides”. Give your family lots of hugs.

So very sorry for your loss, cannot even begin to understand or comprehend what you must be going through, our thoughts are with you and your family. From all the Spesh Spenner’s.

faaaack, I don’t really know what I can say to help you.

🙁

this has put a damper on my evening.

Sorry, thoughts are with you and your family 🙁

Thank you all for your kind words

Does anyone have any suggestion on how to tell the other two kids my eldest is autistic

I’m so sorry. I just can’t imagine what you must be going through. I can’t find any words of comfort, but be strong and loving with your family. So sad.

🙁

So, so sorry to hear this.

My thoughts are with you and your family.

Does anyone have any suggestion on how to tell the other two kids my eldest is autistic

I’m assuming your forces right? Might be best to talk to the counselor/chaplain on base about that.

I mean, we can give advice but it might not be the best.

One more who is at a loss for words here. Deepest sympathies, i hope you find a way through this.

Try to keep your head above the water for your young daughters sake is all the advice I can give you really.

Spend lots of time with your wife as well, don’t withdraw. Tell her how you’re feeling, ask her how she is etc and listen.

Does anyone have any suggestion on how to tell the other two kids my eldest is autistic

I’ve always been really honest with my kids over family deaths.

Sit them down and tell them the truth is all I can offer, though I’ve no experience of autism.

My deepest sympathies, thinking of you and your loved ones at this very sad time 😥 be strong and dont be afraid to ask for help
Vic x

Agree with richpips, we have friends who lost a newborn and they were, as far as I know, honest about it with their 4 year old son, while of course being as delicate about it as possible. I don’t think they are particularly religious but they have told him that his sister has gone and if he looks up at night she is a star in the sky.

I have no idea how I would cope in your situation except to get my family close around me and just be there for each other. Talk if it helps, get out on the bike to clear your head if you can.

Good luck fella, so so sorry to hear this.

Bloody hell. Can’t / don’t want to imagine what you’re going through right now but my thoughts are with you and your family.

I haven’t read this, just copied the link, but it may be helpful?

National Autistic Society

My misses works with people and this sort of thing.

She recommended the people below and speaking to the autistic society

http://www.crusebereavementcare.org.uk/
http://www.autism.org.uk

It’s not much but it’s about the best I’ve got

Can’t even begin to imagine what your going through right now!
All I can say is your obviously a brave man so I suggest telling your eldest with all your emotion at 11.

I have a friend who’s son is autistic and he had to tell him about his grandfather’s death,he was in bits so just told him through tears and his son calmly walked up and held his hand and said “Dad don’t cry your my best friend!”

When he told me this I was glad I was 180 miles away on the end of a phone as tears were streaming down my face.

Please don’t try to be “strong” I’m pretty sure we would all give you a hug.

I’ve tried writing down some advice but it all seems so inadequate given the pain you must be going through right now.

There is some good advice here, might be worth a read if only to confirm that every emotion you’re feeling is perfectly normal:

http://www.childbereavement.org.uk

Please don’t try to be “strong” I’m pretty sure we would all give you a hug.

And I wholeheartedly agree with this. Just be honest about your emotions with yourself, your family and your friends.

anyone have any suggestion on how to tell the other two kids my eldest is autistic

You don’t say how old, but from my teaching experience, be clear and unambiguous. Give them a few minutes and then check they understand. Grieve together – don’t worry about them seeing you upset.
You’ve got two very special kids and will get through this.

I cannot offer any wise words but you and your family are in my thoughts tonight.

I started reading this thread before anyone else had replied but I closed it again because I couldn’t think what to say. I still can’t tbh but you all have my deepest sympathies. Look out for one another.

So sorry to hear of your tragic loss. Don’t apologise. My thoughts are with you and your family. Stay strong. Gareth

Very sorry to hear this, please don’t apologise for sharing. Now more than ever you need to communicate with the people around you, and accept all the support you can. Good luck, keep in touch.

Mate, massive man hug from me, dad of two, so sorry and as parents all our worst scenarios. Be strong for the family, wish I could offer more.

Oh mate. Thinking of you at this awful awful time. No advice, but Im thinking of you and your family.

I am very sorry to read this, I lost my only son in similar circumstances (Cot Death, sudden infant death syndrome they called it) All I can say is be prepared for a lot of pain and grief, you are in shock now, next comes the inevitable questions that shake any belief you might have to the core and you won’t know what to do with yourself, it is the worse thing that can happen to a parent.

Needless to say you have to keep your act together for your family, neither me or you posting on internet forums is going to do much, suffice to say although it was some twenty odd years ago now, I know exactly what you are and about to be going through.

My email is in the profile, if you feel you need someone to just chat to please don’t hesitate to contact me I’ll give you my cel, it is an absolute hellish experience to have to deal with and one i can’t boast to have ever really recovered from, My Mrs handled it differently to me and wouldn’t talk, still doesn’t and you don’t want to dump on others so you end up dealing with it inwardly which can also **** you up in different ways which I’m happy to chat with you about.

But, like me you probably wont want to and that’s O.K., but I’m sincere in the offer.

What else can i say, all it does is open the wound, you have my very deepest sympathy.

I think for the last hour or so, like many on here, I’ve been having a think about this and how powerfully emotional it must be. If there is anything I can do, even just to chat shite with a complete stranger my email is kevinevs@yahoo.co.uk I can’t imagine your sadness

no words can help, so sorry, will be thinking of you an your family over the next few days just wish there was something we all could do. children are the greatest gift you’ll ever receive, no matter how long they are in your life they will be with you for ever.

Sincerest condolences. Cannot begin to imagine how this feels. Some good advice from lots of folk more qualified than me above.
Thoughts are with you and your family.

I can’t possibly say how sorry I am to hear about your loss by just typing, but i really am sorry. No words of wisdom either, but as others have said this is my worse nightmare, truly truly sorry.

I just hope that, somehow, shit gets better for you.

We are all thinking of you

you have my deepest sympathy, nothing any of us can say is going to make things better, life is just a c**t sometimes. it is what it is.
hang in there trooper!

I don’t really have the words. But as per kevevs, if you need some support from a stranger (also ex-squaddie) give me a shout or if you’re bristol based and fancy a beer and a chat.
ThegeneralwreckerATyahooDOTcoDOTuk

I can’t begin to comprehend how you feel. The thought if that happening to my babies hurts more than I can articulate. I’m so sorry for your loss. Other words seem so shallow, but please be there for Emily & mum.

I have thought long and hard mate of something to post and I just can’t do it.
So just know that I have heard the news and feel sick to the bottom of my guts for you.

You loss is truely tragic.

A child is not supposed to die before its parent.

Be with your family through all your grievings.

My thoughts are with you and your family, I’m so sorry for your loss mate….