I'm finding things a bit tough at the moment in terms of those lying awake at night at 4am wondering whether I can do my job thoughts. Anyone else?

you'll be fine, you're not an air traffic controller are you?

Ah. I hoped no one knew……

You're not alone in feeling like that. But it's a long night spent dwelling on it. If you're like me you're then more knackered and less able to cope the next day, and so it goes on.

I feel I should repeat my suggestion to anyone feeling "a little out of sorts"; shave your head, climb a tower, and shoot strangers.

population control, everyone wins!

I take the same approach as actors…

Give an actor a script about being a bank manager and they'll do a credible job of looking like one to to the majority of watchers.

So, act like you know what you're doing and you'll be fine.
If you **** up badly just get all arrogant and they'll promote you out of the problem anyhow…

;o)

Playing the role helps. regularly asking people for feedback helps. You find out you're doing OK and you find out what they'd like you to do. And there are some good 'build self confidence' books & stuff e.g. the free course at mindtools.com

Have a go at taking this an an opportunity to review what you're doing and rewrite your CV and personal development plan. That might shift your thinking from 'I can't do this' to 'blimey, I AM GREAT. I need a better/more fun job and I now know what that is…'

Consider seeing your GP. That could help eliminate other causes e.g. depression or a physical cause for your anxiety.

Do you have friends at work who you can look at the positive side of things with? In britain, the endless cynical banter and onedownmanship can reduce confidence at times.

And, if you're awake at 4 in the morning don't lie in bed worrying. Get up. Get a hot chocolate or warm milk & honey & read a book. Perhaps even better, start the day and go for a ride. That gets your mind off self-doubt and, whilst you're tired at the end of the day, it feels great!

So, act like you know what you're doing and you'll be fine.

Bad advice. I tried that and then got promoted! Now I'm really in trouble.

Sure it's not your boss who's no good at their job? I had a boss who I only ever saw when he wanted something or something had broken. It was very demoralising and I questioned my abilities when I really knew I was good at my job. I now have a new boss who sees what I do and gives praise when due. This has made a huge difference. I reckon you should ask yourself if your up to the job. You will know and if the answer is yes then it's likely to be those around or above you who are the issue

What cheesyfeet said! Absolutely spot on.

That sounds like depression / stress to me.

Could well be exacerbated by poor management. Have you been promoted beyond your natural level? That happened to me and the stress nearly destroyed me. I am no leader and needed to recognise that.

did you lose it, or was it stolen? It might not be your "fault".

Look around you. Do you actually see anyone whose really knows what they are doing, not just pretending they do. Thought not.

…….wondering whether I can do my job thoughts

aP – since as far as I am aware, you have been doing your job with the same employer for a considerable number of years, then it would suggest that you can indeed do your job.

Or at least if they haven't sussed you out yet, then they are unlikely to suss you out in the future – so why worry ? 8)

get out on your bike more! amazing what a quick zip around the woods can do for your head..

I also fine some sort of metal working very relaxing – as is build wheels.

That sounds like depression / stress to me.

To be honest it just sounds like anyone who's been taken outside their comfort zone, which isn't a bad thing. I spend about 1/3 of all my time grappling with things I dont know if I can do, isn't that how you grow as a person?

Don't ask me, I'm doing exactly the same thing except that I worry whether or not I'm going to get anywhere in the new job I'm training for…

At least I'll know when I hit the next 3am "trying to get my brain to shut the **** up" session that I'm not the only one going through it… 😡

imposter syndrome ?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Impostor_syndrome

Blimey, that imposter syndrome sounds familiar…

fair play to you, i spent 3 years at a place where everyone beleived all too strongly that they could do it, yet were wildly bluffing their way through life.

you'll pick it up.

Wow. Imposter Syndrome describes me to a T. I've always felt the same in 7 years working in IT, feeling out of my depth but then realising that there really are some useless f***wits above me doing a really bad job. Still, I put it down to a lack of interest in the actual technology side of things so I couldn't bothered to learn more.

Just completed an MSc with distinction. I remain unconvinced I deserve it – there were far cleverer people than me on the course, more articulate and confident, too. I ground mine out, huffing and puffing on every word written.

Facing job interviews in a new field now I find I'm having to recount stories from my past career which makes me uncomfortable. I know I did a good job, I just can't qualify it with anything meaningful.

Plus the fact I'd rather just be riding bikes and climbing in the alps rather than sat in an office all day, I don't hold much hope of getting a job.

Not sleeping ain't healthy. As TJ says, poss something you need to discuss with your Dr.
2nd the bike thing – you probably know this already tho
2nd the 'your boss' thing. There seems to be very little focus on bosses' responsibilities to their direct reports, which leads to a lot of people believing less in themselves at work than they deserve to.

Write down a list of the things that make you feel good. Do as many things on that list as often as you can. It'll help stop the negative thoughts dominating your life
Write down a list of things – at work and outside work that you KNOW you're good at. Do them as much as possible. Again, it'll counteract the dominance the negative stuff is happening at the moment.

And most importantly, look around you. I read reports a year ago from the British Psychological Society saying they were expecting the downturn to have a significant effect on the mental health of the nation. So many people were living unsustainable lives and had no mechanisms for coping with the impact of the downturn that the result is an increase in overall stress, and worse. Their followup report a few weeks ago confirmed this anecdotally ie: it's not just you, loads of people are in the same place but being British it's not being discussed openly

Ok ready ITS A JOB!.
Good now take a step back and think about what really important
family, friends, kids, partners and your health.
If it's causing you to loose sleep then you need to learn to think differently.
Most folk struggle at times but do a bloody good job of not showing it and due to this you think
god they must find this job easy ( not true).
Don't beat yourself up 😉

If yer laying in bed at 4am i wouldnt be going through to get a hot choc then maybe reading a book. i would be thinking "phek this.. if my job has brought this on then right now is the turning point"

Id then go for a ride up the hill behind the house and take everything in.The view.. the cold air.

you arent here for a bad time. make the change if its likely to never satisfy you. or do you think it can all change?

What do you do? I am a recruitment bod and have run several large teams for multinational companies in other industries. I have a few ideas about all this stuff.

You're not churning out stuff like this are you?

you have been doing your job with the same employer for a considerable number of years, then it would suggest that you can indeed do your job.

Or at least if they haven't sussed you out yet, then they are unlikely to suss you out in the future – so why worry ?

Spot on. Difficult to believe but rationally correct. 🙂

I'm paranoid at work at the moment. Last week I screwed up (pardon the pun) on a count of prisoners on a wing I don't normally work on, held the roll check up for 10 mins. Imagine the stick I got when EVERYONE got to know it was me who couldn't count up to 46.

aP – I cant offer any advice, I'd be looking to you for advice after all! 😉

You have a pretty bloody stressful job, arguably a job you were never trained to do. It probably won't help but there isn't a Associate/Director in your position at the moment getting their full quota of sleep.

MTFU etc… 😀

Poor sleep is normally the first sign of mental health deterioration eg stress, depression, anxiety. Waking up early and unable to get back to sleep is your bodies early warning system saying 'change something'.

AP-detach when home-PS2 etc have fun, go to sleep well and then back to work refreshed with a new approach.

You can do it! 😀

Thanks guys – had 4 days holiday this week to just take a step back, done some sorting out at home, not looked at work emails, tried not to think too much about things, now waiting for the SO to arrive at T5 tonight as she's been away for 3 days.

ps – MTT – interested in what might turn out to be a fairly substantial house refurb in Derbyshire?

sounds like you've reached your level of incompetence…. 😉

What's it called when you think everyone but you has Imposter Syndrome? Bitter syndrome?

Re OP, sounds like plain stress but not really enough infomation to offer suggestions. If you are a nurse or something it would a different solution to someone in office etc.

I feel like this from time to time – its usually when there are multiple issues going on and the time required for each issue to be investigated thoroughly is not there, it feels like all is spiraling out of control,(I liken it to panic attacks) I usually have a brainwave that seems to reorganise everything and all returns to normal again (somehow)are the syptoms some type of paranoia ?

What ibis said.

I'm with Zaskar on this one. Go in, do your job, thirty seconds past 'go home' time, flick the 'thinking about work' button to OFF and switch it on again thirty seconds before you next start there.

They should be happy that they're getting a free minute from you.

It happened to me.

I couldn't sleep at night and got more and more tired each day, so I got less and less efficient and more paranoid, and slept less well each night. The woman I worked for was a real horror, I applied for a transfer, HR made me stay where I was until a replacement was found, until once lunchtime I had had enough. I went to my GP who signed me off for a week, he was very supportive and made some good suggestions.

I work for a company where our performance is constantly monitored. I had always got good "marks" but after working with her I couldn't even remember that, or how it felt.

I've been away from her for almost three months now. I'm getting good feedback again, my confidence is back and I feel fine. I am sleeping better.

So, maybe it isn't you. Maybe it's your boss(es), bullying isn't just a physical thing, it can be all the sighs, sniffs, disapproving glances, sneers, the constant moving of goalposts, the slamming shut of files, doors etc.

Have you got an HR department you can discuss this with?

Just a thought. Do you think it might be worth taking a VERY short course of sleeping tablets/tranquillisers just so you can catch up on your sleep? Sleep deprivation makes you think all sorts of wierd things.

Go for a long bike ride.

Good luck x

Work 9-5, some times i get stressed. Home is my time and work does not exist untill the alarm goes off at 7am. Its important to remember that work exists only to fund the important things in life, what ever that may be.

aP – I have every sympathy with you fella, I'm in exactly the same boat, maybe about a month ahead of you, by the sounds of it.

Great job (if I sit down and think of it positively), healthy, lovely missus, beautiful daughter etc. etc.

But I've taken to waking up at 3 or 4 every morning, tied throughout the day, knackered at home. And repeat. You start forgetting sentences, getting stressed about things that never worry you before, no enthusiasm for things.

I went to the docs after one bad day at work. It actually helps if some says, "actually there may be something wrong with you". Talked to work, they've been good and swapped a few of my duties amongst others (who should really have been doing them anyway).

But assuming you are a cyclist (as you are on here) just get out on your bike for a blast. Hell, if nothing else treat yourself to a set of waterproofs and just ploldge around the streets. I've got plans for a nice shiney road bike come the spring when I get back some winter fitness. I do feel so much better for going out.

And, yes, you are not alone.