Viewing 33 posts - 1 through 33 (of 33 total)
  • Looking for legal advice – dead parent
  • ChubbyBlokeInLycra
    Free Member

    Can anyone give any legal advice on this?
    25+ years ago I seriously fell out with my father, ending up with him telling me he had been to a lawyer and “legally disowned” me. IANAL but this sounds like the kind of legal-sounding bullsht that stupid people come out with when they want what they’re saying to sound more important than it is. A bit like the threatening pretend legal letters you get from private car park operators. Anyway, even without legal standing the intent was pretty obvious – not wanting anything more to do with me. No loss to me so I never saw him again and never tried getting in touch.
    Last weekend he pegged out. Not really relevant to me, no intention of going to any funerals. Pretending I’m sad because someone who was never part of my life is going to carry on not being part of my life isn’t really me.
    So far, so fine.
    However, I got a call from my mum (divorced around 40 years ago, married again) who said wife no 2 had been in touch and I have to sign something to release some sort of funds from a pension to pay for the funeral. An unmarked pauper’s grave and no send off wouldn’t bother me but obviously there’s the rest of his family to think about and they probably feel a bit differently so I’ve passed on my address for the papers to be sent to me. I’ll sign this time to move things on but want it made clear that this is nothing at all to do with me and that responsibility for any further legalities should be passed to someone else – my younger brother, his surviving family or for that matter some random Nigerian minister’s son.
    Can I do this without dumping on the surviving family, and if so how?
    Will signing now imply that I’m taking this responsibility on?
    Cheers

    somouk
    Free Member

    Sounds as though you have a claim to the estate so need to sign to allow some of that estate to be used to pay for the funeral.

    I would hold out and await what you get from the will.

    pebblebeach
    Free Member

    I would hold out and await what you get from the will.

    This will all come out during probate but I do hope that if you are named in the will you don’t accept any part of the estate that comes your way.

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    suburbanreuben
    Free Member

    Wait until you get the paperwork to sign and get some legal advice, often half hour free initially from a solicitor, or ask here http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/forumdisplay.php?f=217 for some good advice.
    It sounds as though you are a long way from being “disowned” and are possibly still the next of kin. If you do sign the funeral order, you may find yourself responsible for the costs. On the other hand, if there are no other children, and no will, you inherit any loot.

    sobriety
    Free Member

    you don’t accept any part of the estate that comes your way.

    Accept, sell, donate proceeds to Bullheart (Sarcoma UK) or whoever he’s currently raising funds for.

    Job Jobbed.

    pebblebeach
    Free Member

    Accept, sell, donate proceeds to Bullheart.

    Or give it to the rest of the family who still had a relationship with him.

    ChubbyBlokeInLycra
    Free Member

    This will all come out during probate but I do hope that if you are named in the will you don’t accept any part of the estate that comes your way.

    What I want is a continuation of the past 25 years – nothing, which is why I’m looking to walk away from everything.
    FWIW, I am oldest son, but #2 son stayed in touch. Wife #2 stayed married to him and if she copped the lot, she’d deserve it and I wouldn’t have any problem with anything coming my way being directed to her.

    pebblebeach
    Free Member

    What I want is a continuation of the past 25 years – nothing, which is why I’m looking to walk away from everything.

    Ignore the communication the, if they can’t afford the funeral themselves then its not your problem.

    totalshell
    Full Member

    as mentioned above i suspect a strong likely hood that you may be accepting his liabilities as well as any assets.. few die rich.. seek legal advice once you have the paperwork to hand

    ChubbyBlokeInLycra
    Free Member

    Ignore the communication the, if they can’t afford the funeral themselves then its not your problem.

    True but.. it’s hardly fair to leave a grieving family to deal with the costs of a funeral, which isn’t a cheap thing AFAIK. Which is why I’d sign to release the money if it’s not going to get me more involved. Which is why I’ve asked for legal advice

    lunge
    Full Member

    IANAL but I would suggest they wouldn’t be contacting you if all was well and straight forward. Either they have no money in the pot to pay for the funeral (likely) or you’ve been written in the Will and you have money coming to you that they want (unlikely).

    Either way, don’t sign anything until it’s been checked out, you don’t want his unpaid debt on your doorstep.

    taxi25
    Free Member

    I’m not sure why you should have to sign anything ? If he actually married and stayed married to wife no2 then she would be the next of kin. Not sure where you’d come into it.

    wwaswas
    Full Member

    My F-i-L died recently – most of the financial organisations we dealt with had specific measures in place to release funds for a funeral in advance of anything to do with a will or probate. A pension will not normally pay a cash sum on death, either – just transfer the pension payments to another individual (the spouse).

    I would read what you’re signing very carefully to make sure you’re not accepting responsibility for paying anything yourself should his estate not have sufficient funds in it.

    matt_outandabout
    Full Member

    I think the priority here is the living. You sound like you don’t want to do it for your father, but I think the decent thing would be to do it for them (even if they are strangers).
    Get some brief advice to check you are not committing to looking after a Persian named Tiddles for the next decade…
    But then, if there is any estate, dispose of it as you and the family see fit.

    ChubbyBlokeInLycra
    Free Member

    ahhh, sometimes talking clarifies the issue. Yes, I bet I have to sign to release the funds because I’m in the will and that means some of the money’s mine so I need to agree to it being spent. Not a well off family and I’d be very surprised if they had the readies to fund a funeral.
    So maybe I sign over my share to wife #2 and my hands are washed of the whole thing.
    Probable result
    Thanks folks

    crankboy
    Free Member

    i am a lawyer but the wrong sort , One you cannot inherit his liabilities only incur your own . So if you organise a funeral the funeral director could look to you to pay (you would normally be repaid from his estate.) from your post my best guess is you are either named as a beneficiary of the pension fund or the fund take the view that you are next of kin. Wife2 needs cash to pay for funeral fund say we ain’t releasing any cash without son’s consent. Wife2 wants to use the pension fund as a) she has no cash b) your dad died potless c)it is normally quicker and easier than probate d) your dad did a will that leaves everything or a lot to person(s) other than wife2 possibly you . a to d are speculative and any one could be the sole reason or any combination of those could be valid.

    read the paper work if you have house insurance it may include a legal advise line.

    crankboy
    Free Member

    oh and “money has no smell” up to you what you do, but other people make sound arguments that if dad did not live up to providing for his son in life then he should do so in death.

    jambalaya
    Free Member

    OP, I agree with others and seems you do too. I suspect he never disowned you (ie wrote you out of his will) and there is a possibility there is no will at all. I don’t know what happens if there is no will / kids / second wife – perhaps money goes automatically in equal shares to the kids.

    As above I would suggest you take the money and donate it to charity or give to your mum or your brothers/sisters (last one equivalent to agreeing to give up your claims). Note if you do want to give up all claims the others should get you to sign something to protect themselves in case somewhere down the line you change your mind.

    konabunny
    Free Member

    as mentioned above i suspect a strong likely hood that you may be accepting his liabilities as well as any assets..

    no.

    anagallis_arvensis
    Full Member

    t I do hope that if you are named in the will you don’t accept any part of the estate that comes your way.

    What makes you think you have the right to tell someone what to do in this case. If he gets some money its because despite it all his father wanted him too. He could give it to his kids or spend it on coke and hookers its nothing to do with anyone else.

    ChubbyBlokeInLycra
    Free Member

    crankboy – cheers, I was coming pretty much to those conclusions. a, b pretty likely, d not so much,
    I made it plain along time a go I wanted nothing to do with him, it’d be a bit hypocritical to start now.

    NJA
    Full Member

    I’m a will and probate bod. It sounds to me like there are some residual benefits payable from an occupational pension scheme. The trustees of the scheme probably want you to sign a disclaimer so that they can release funds to wife 2. Fairly standard stuff to cover their backs, so not likely to cause you any issues. I am in Spain at the moment, but if you can wait til next week I would be happy to chat and pass my eye over stuff. Contact details are at http://www.will-probate.co.uk

    Nick.

    ChubbyBlokeInLycra
    Free Member

    What makes you think you have the right to tell someone what to do in this case

    I didn’t want to be discussing the morality of this, but as far as I’m concerned when you walk away, you’re gone and running back at the sniff of money is not something to be proud of.

    ChubbyBlokeInLycra
    Free Member

    NJA – top bloke, cheers

    breatheeasy
    Free Member

    Was it a pension started in a job 40 years ago maybe? Could possibly have been in your name but he forgot to move it across to a new beneficiary? Wouldn’t be the first time.

    anagallis_arvensis
    Full Member

    when you walk away, you’re gone and running back at the sniff of money is not something to be proud o

    Thats your choice of course. Just remember its your choice though and dont listen to someone on here who doesnt know the details.

    ChubbyBlokeInLycra
    Free Member

    nah, that decision was made way before posting on here.
    Anyway, thanks again everybody

    Nipper99
    Free Member

    If it is to do with his pension then that fund might be written into trust (outside his will) as part of the policy with you amongst a class of beneficiaries i.e. your father’s children – ask to see the docs before you sign.

    hora
    Free Member

    Ask to read and take advice before signing.

    I disowned my Father at 12yrs old. He died 5yrs ago suddenly and I didnt want anything to do with it.

    However if he wasnt evil to you why should strangers get his money? My Father was violent to all regardless of size (hard or soft), age or build. I think in his era it was more acceptable than today. I didnt want owt to do with that.

    Do good with it. Improve your families lives.

    ChubbyBlokeInLycra
    Free Member

    hora
    for info the thread title included

    Looking for legal advice

    Maybe you could point out the legal advice part of your post.

    hora
    Free Member

    Sorry I cant help you on free legal advice.

    BigDummy
    Free Member

    I have to sign something to release some sort of funds from a pension to pay for the funeral.

    Almost certainly nothing to do with the will. It’s pretty likely that the pension pot is a separate “discretionary” trust. The administrators (probably) have a power to make advances out of it to pay funeral expenses, which requires the consent of everyone who could be entitled to a payment out of the death benefits of the pension. The class of people who may be able to benefit from the pension death benefits will certainly include children. The administrators will therefore want your signature to approve the advance of money to pay for the funeral.

    However, there will also (probably) be an “expression of wishes” from your father addressed to the administrators, saying who the pension death benefits should go to. This won’t (for tax reasons) be binding on them, but they will invariably follow it. You may or may not get a percentage of the death benefits under that “expression of wishes”.

    All this will be separate from the will, which it sounds as though you haven’t been told anything about at all.

    If this correspondence relates only to the pension scheme (and you will be able to tell that by reading the paperwork, you won’t need legal advice) then you have absolutely no risk at all of becoming liable for any debts or required to administer your father’s estate or whatever by signing what you’re given.

    (obviously, that’s all just educated guesses as I haven’t seen the papers, however IAAL)

    HTH 🙂

    pebblebeach
    Free Member

    anagallis_arvensis

    What makes you think you have the right to tell someone what to do in this case

    I must have missed the bit I was telling the OP what to do. I also can’t see the difference between this from me

    I do hope that if you are named in the will you don’t accept any part of the estate that comes your way.

    and this from you

    Just remember its your choice though and dont listen to someone on here who doesnt know the details.

    Apart from the bit where you are actually telling the OP what to do! 🙄

Viewing 33 posts - 1 through 33 (of 33 total)

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