Viewing 13 posts - 41 through 53 (of 53 total)
  • Loneliness…
  • funkmasterp
    Full Member

    I know how you feel. Moved away from my home in West Yorkshire to Macclesfield 10 years ago. I’ve made a couple of friends down here, but now have a 3 year old and very little time. Work, wash up, sleep repeat is my life. Even the wife and I find very little time to communicate at the moment. If you’re anywhere near me let me know, can arrange a ride or meet for a pint.

    Caher
    Full Member

    Meet up can be good, if you want to broaden beyond biking.

    cynic-al
    Free Member

    Nothing to add but the advice sounds reasonable and good to know I’m not alone (SWIDT?)

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    myti
    Free Member

    My partner before I knew him moved to SE from Belfast for a new job. He didn’t really know anyone here and family all in Northern Ireland or Scotland. The first proper friend he made was from posting up on here asking if anyone could show him the local trails (Surrey hills). That person became a good friend and had other lovely friends and since I met my partner they are some of my favourite people who we go on riding holidays with etc.

    I also used to feel a bit lacking in a social scene before I met my partner and really got into riding. I joined my local mtb group and have loads of friends through that and have the opposite problem now of juggling all the potential events/invites. Weekly rides, dig days, weekend trips to Wales and pub meet ups to sit around and talk about bikes and riding. My non bikie friends tend to suffer a bit as it does take over rather.

    One other thing I recently had quite a bit of spare time in the week to fill and was feeling a bit lost and aimless so started volunteering at the local rspca. Lots of nice people to chat to there and loads of lovely dogs to walk and cats to stroke. I come back feeling great from my weekly visit there.

    niall1975
    Free Member

    We have moved alot in the last 6 years, also no kids. Various Greek islands and now Italy and next year France. Get on the Forums, your local pub and get involved. Chat to everyone, you’ll meet all the muppets as well. Join some clubs etc and you’ll soon make friends.

    We found we needed to put the effort to be accepted but soon made friends.

    Just put the effort in

    Niall

    Stevet1
    Free Member

    Sounds familiar. There are moments in there though that make it worthwhile, got to keep seeking them out.

    MoreCashThanDash
    Full Member

    DT78 » If it helps I feel similar and I have a young family. Zero time for any personal enjoyment just an ever speaking treadmill of stuff to make others happy.

    Underlying issue behind a lot of current issues with isolation, depression, stress and anxiety I reckon. Took me quite a bit of counselling and medication before I could even admit that my wonderful wife and kids were part of the problem. Riding and volunteering give me some time to do stuff I enjoy, for myself.

    aracer
    Free Member

    Another one here – and milky’s comments are also ringing bells for me, it’s when surrounded by other people none of whom I’m connecting with (and feel unable to connect with) that I feel most lonely. I’ve had counselling for depression/anxiety the last few months, and one of the things it’s encouraged me to do is to get out doing things with other groups of people – in my case it’s mostly been things which I’ve never done before (and I’m in my mid 40s), but activities I’m actually really into so connecting with other people has felt really easy. Having been in the position of feeling I don’t really have any friends at all – at least not anybody who I’ve connected with other than on FB within the last year – I think I might have actually found some (though it’s early days yet).

    edit: and if the OP does get back on and is in the West Mids as suggested, then I’m up for a ride.

    Mounty_73
    Full Member

    WOW, lots of replies, I wasnt sure what to expect from the post…but thank you all.

    I live in Shrewsbury, Shropshire, 43 years old, sounds more like online dating. 😉 but I think it gets harder to meet new people as you get older, IMO.

    I seem to ride the tarmac more these days as its easier to just ride from the house, rather than load up the car etc as time can be limited.

    I also do as much walking & camping as possible, which I dont mind doing on my own, but sometimes feel it would be nice to share it with other people…plus I’m not a great fan of large crowds and small places…

    I have done volunteering in the past, IT and as a school pupil mentor, but now I am back into a IT job 9-5, its more difficult.

    My partner has lots of friends and a busy social life and quite often I am around people, but it doesnt help, I cant quite explain it??! I also think its more difficult for men, women seem to make it more natural with conversation and making friends…

    Its really difficult to open up to stuff like this and say ‘Will you be my friend? LOL 🙂

    bigyim
    Free Member

    If you ever want to meet up over cannock give me a shout and we can have a bimble. Emails in profile. I’m near dudley way so not a million miles away

    stick_man
    Full Member

    +1 for all the suggestions for volunteering. Loads of different things you could do and although people running volunteer organisations *can* be as cliquey as the rest, mostly they are very welcoming. It can be hard work but you get the satisfaction that comes from ‘doing your bit’ and you get to know a different circle of people.

    Many volunteering opportunities are flexible – I help in Scouting, the organisation is very aware that we have busy lives and is very flexible on how much time and commitment you give.

    NZCol
    Full Member

    +1 on this, we moved halfway round the world and between work and home it’s been tough to meet people. Especially as a early forties man, maybe it’s just me.
    My new years resolution is to try harder. My wife has managed to do it but I am determined to make it work for me even though I am always feeling like I compromise something.

    doris5000
    Full Member

    shrewsbury is my home town. Good biking!

    Been a while since I lived there but I used to go out with the Mid Shropshire Wheelers. They do regular rides and training sessions, and there are some really good people involved. Find them online or just pop into to Dave Mellor’s shop and they’ll be able to point you in the right direction. One thing I really enjoyed was helping out at some of the races. They were always after volunteers to marshal or mark out courses – found it very enjoyable, a nice way to be involved in a fun scene even if you don’t fancy actually racing 🙂

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