I wish you luck.

I had a bucketful of this kind of shit, but rather more extreme with plenty of violence coming at me, when I was married. And like oldmanmtb I stayed because of the kids. It didn’t do me any good and in hindsight I wish I had gotten out sooner. Eventually it was untenable and I had to get out which was followed in fairly short order by a total breakdown and my getting the kids. That was a bonus but I was then fleeced financially through the divorce court once she recovered.

I’ve recovered financially and the kids went on and achieved great things, but the mental scars remain.

I’d also say….. Look after yourself. Don’t discount getting out and saving your own sanity. Knowing what I know, if I were you, I’d not wait too much longer.

If she is worried about you meeting real women, just refrain from deleting your search history before she gets home. Show it to her. That might convince her that you’re not playing away….

Good luck. And…

I appreciate the input from both sides of the problem the frank, the constructive. There were a few knobbish remarks but i’m giving the benefit of the doubt that you haven’t experienced anxiety

..your a better more forgiving man than I am, quite humbling and shows we can all learn a lot from each other no matter how old we are.

There’s a thin line between being supportive and enabling that kind of behaviour.

Do you see a long term future for the pair of you? If not, that might be the root of the insecurity.

Those of you looking for a cause in OP’s actions, it doesn’t work like that, anxiety finds things to be anxious about. Good luck OP, I know from personal experience that these things can be overcome, hope that’s the case in your situation (if that’s what you want)

Its tough but you need to put yourself first. Suggest you seriously consider what you have to loose if you walk away and realistically what the future has in store.