I used to work with an old bloke who would have a chat with me when I got to work having cycled 7 miles which includes a 2 mile long hill. I would then have to watch him turn around and go for a massive shit in the disabled toilet (which had the shower in) before I had a chance to get in there. I would have to wait 20mins for him to come out and then I could feel the sting in my eyes from the evil that had recently left his body, whilst trying to get clean.
He knew I was going to have a shower, and he wasn’t disabled, just an arsehole.

The stoopid airhead in the cafe today explaining the technique to a perfect selfie, which was as a result of the statement “You take such a good selfie!”

When the toorists arrive and the Fn Bagpipers start up – I can hear 3 of **** right now due to the elevation of my office!

The trainee at work ringing me to tell me he’s allocating the work for tomorrow (off his own back) and what I’ll be doing.

People leaving shopping trolleys perpendicular to the aisles when browsing in the supermarket.

… tomorrow (off his own back) and…

off his own bat

and other misquoted phrases.

And whistlers, especially old blokes who whistle “as I wish upon a star” or other Disney tunes.

A guy I work with moans(almost sexually) when eating, hes’s even started to moan and chomp when you are eating.

And whistlers, especially old blokes who whistle “as I wish upon a star” or other Disney tunes.

When you wish upon a star

and other misquoted Disney song titles.

njee20.

Although he’s not that little.

😀

folk that mark their email as ‘high priority’ all the time.

This

The twunt who uses the office shower every morning even though he drove to work, then spends 20 minutes in there

Diesel passengers cars – I might be poisoning your children but **** it its cheaper to run than a petrol

Oh and bloody SUV / Crossover / Faux by Fours. Why? are you that shit a driver you need to sit a bit higher up to feel confident? I had the misfortune of driving a Kia Sportage hire car the other day. It was massive yet no bigger inside than a Golf and because of the height it rolled like a trawler in a Force 10. Utterly hateful

we seem to feel the need to do this every now and again, and I think we come the same conclusion each time…

You guys need to drink way less coffee.

People who stop and talk in doorways or otherwise block the way for everyone else.

I don’t like slow-walkers, but I admit that’s my problem, not theirs, but people who just stop for no reason in everyone’s way deserve to be beaten.

folk that mark their email as ‘high priority’ all the time.

I used to work with someone who “didn’t want to offend people” by declining meeting invites, so everything was tentative. Including when she was on holiday for 2 weeks with zero chance of ever turning up. She also tried to tell me that “hope your well” was the correct usage of “your” to start an email (you’re enquiring about their well-ness was her justification). RAAAAAAAAAGE

People who leave a mains plug socket switch on when there isn’t a bluddy plug in it!!!

“You guys need to drink way less coffee.”

People who use the word “way” when they actually mean “much”

People who leave a mains plug socket switch on when there isn’t a bluddy plug in it!!!

What on earth difference does that make?

Most of the sockets in my house don’t even have switches.

People who sit in traffic for long periods with their foot on the brake, does help spot the crap drivers I suppose!

Cyclists who expect you to stop your car at zebra crossings as they ride towards it.

Text speak, I can only just tolerate it in a text message but in any other form of communication it just makes the writer look a bit special.

People who dirty up the sugar. WTH is wrong with you people!
Use a freakin clean spoon or use the sugar first than all the other tosh afterwards.

I will rip your soul from your body 😈

People who dirty up the sugar. WTH is wrong with you people!

Oh gods, absolutely. How hard is it to use the sugar first? Ditto sauce bottles in greasy spoon cafés that have the neck coated in congealing sauce and bits of cooked breakfast; do you have to stuff the bottle actually into your eggs?

People who sit in traffic for long periods with their foot on the brake

I found out only the other day that Auto Hold brakes leave the brake lights on; I’ve had the car for three and a half years.

Head lice. Third time in six months. Heaven forfend.

When someone is crossing across traffic lights and presses the button before even looking if there is any traffic, they then see its quiet enough and just cross straight away before the lights change…

Putting a question mark at the end of a sentence, a sentence that is ckearly not a question. Both written and spoken.

Automatic hand driers that stop every few seconds. How hard can it be in 2016?

#firstworldproblems

People who say no offence but then insult you

People who keep looking at there watch when your talking to them

The noise that people make when eating apples… That mouthy crack munch crunch…

Annoys the demons in me to boiling point…

zinaru – well do you?

MrSalmon – Member

Automatic hand driers that stop every few seconds. How hard can it be in 2016?

#firstworldproblems

^this.

Also, hand driers that have the power output of an asthmatic hamster in its death throes.

lol and the increase in its use to end sentences whether the statement is remotely amusing or not, usually not.

Cafe and restaurant staff asking me “is everything alright with your meal sir?” just as I’ve put a fork full of food in my mouth so that I can only answer with hand signals.

Not sure if this is an annoy trait of waiting staff or annoying trait of mine in that maybe theres never a moment when I’m shovelling food in my face long enough for them to ask.

Mrs njee20 and I commented that they always ask as you take a massive bite. I wondered if it’s something about psychology that you’re less likely to say “no” after they’ve watched you eat a huge mouthful!

Jeez there’s a load I recognise on here
– thermostat comprehension
– bins full, keep filling it
– ask a question, don’t listen to answer
– ask me to do something and tell me how to do it
– if busy and out of control, decide to do more stuff
– insist on riding off the front then going the wrong way
– never programming prat nav until it’s too late (when I a m driving)
– asking me to fix bike with little or incorrect explanation of what’s wrong
– thanks (rare) are caveated – of course you’ve got the time to do it
– lost passwords
– incomprehensible phone contacts – 5 x “cath”
– filing by shoe box under the bed
– always late
– ask for advice, ignore it
– not wanting any part in organising holidays then complain as soon as somethings not quite to her liking
– any time in computer it’s “how do I ” “what’s happening”etc. I am then meant to fix the problem without even looking at within 7.5 secs before she loses patience
But as I was recently told – I should be so lucky : she likes cycling,skiing, sailing; good laugh; good mum; good job; looks after herself!
POSTED 1 MINUTE AGO # EDIT

In my office, which is a loud, open plan, sales based environment, doing a conference call on loud speaker. Then giving people dirty looks that they are talking on the phone or too each other. FFS, do the call on one of the many meeting rooms.

– thermostat comprehension

Ye gods. I think there’s something wrong with some people’s brains when it comes to thermostats. It drove me insane when I was in an open plan office.

Person 1: “Gosh, it’s warm in here” – sets aircon thermostat to 16’C.

Person 2: “Gosh, it’s cold in here” – sets aircon thermostat to 28’C.

Person 3: “Gosh, it’s warm in here” – opens all the windows.

Person 4: “Hello, air conditioner repairs? Yeah, it’s iced up again, I’ve no idea why it keeps breaking.”

Parents who think that the rules of the road don’t apply when doing the school run.
Drivers who stop on a pedestrian crossing in a queue of traffic.
The latest local radio adverts for used car sales narrated by women with sickly sweet girly voices! (Including HPL Motors, for anyone who listens to XS Manchester)

For me, as mentioned above, are the people who ask for your advice & then ignore it. It wouldn’t be so bad if it was just the once, but having spent hours on phone calls, emails & research it’s heartbreaking, & this happens a lot to me 🙄

It’s not really such a little thing but litter and more so fly tipping. On my ride this morning I was shocked at how many gateways to fields are now home to piles of black bags of crap. I’m also bemused by carrier bags neatly tied up dumped by the side of the road in the middle of nowhere. Why? These people know it’s wrong because they are doing it where no-one will see them.

the incessant inane and LOUD chatter from my 4 year old son and cameras that won’t take a decent photo in full auto mode