Joke lost on you there sssimon 
!!!
(I was referring to me being mediocre)
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little things in daily working life that just make your spirit sink
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Posted 1 year ago #
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The fact you can sweat blood to make stuff happen, only for no-one to notice.
The fact everything must be legally agreed and double failsave, only for no-one to have any balls for a fight when we're let down.
The way I'm expected to constantly make up for the shortfalls in the mish mash of systems we run, the delivered system never matches up to what was promised, nothing integrates properly, work-arounds become established protocol and nobody ever gets held to account, so its all our fault nothing weorks properly. Practical obvious suggestions to improve workflows get ignored.
Any flash of inspiration or insight gets punished by being made into a millstone to wear round your neck.
Posted 1 year ago # -
my boss just winds me up...
This morning I was at home since the contract I was working on has expired.
My phone rings
"Why aren't you with the client?"
"Contracts finished"
"Aren't you onsite?"
"The contract has finished"
"But you should still be there"
"Why?"
"They've renewed the contract for another 6 months. I thought you knew?"sigh......
Posted 1 year ago # -
Joke lost on you there sssimon !!!
(I was referring to me being mediocre)
think I got yours but mine went right over your head, I was implying that you're so mediocre I doubt you'd get anyone to sleep with you.........
Posted 1 year ago # -
the fact that i work in an office of supposed engineers and professionals who are in charge of spending 100's of millions of public money and yet we have a coffee kettle and a tea kettle!!!!
WTF people its all water!!
Posted 1 year ago # -
Continuous half-witted office innuendo.
Makes me wish I had some hand grenades to spare.
Posted 1 year ago # -
Continuous half-witted office innuendo.
Makes me wish I had some hand grenades to spare
Hahaha you wouldn't like our toilet jokes revolving around our office toilets then
Posted 1 year ago # -
Woody - Member
Calls to 'emergencies' with details.....Patient has been drinking
Fight in progress
Police travelling
Patient not breathing
Overdose
Cut finger/toothache/diarrhoea
major blood loss PR or PV
Contractions <1min apartand at 4am last Sunday.... patient (female 22) has vomiitted - been drinking heavily but has never vomitted before after a night out !!
What's that book by some paramedic from London Ambulance, "Tea, sympathy & A&E"?
I was most offended when he said he hates the kind of call stating "40yo male, first seizure", seeing as when I was reading the book I was in hospital recovering after 60 minutes of fitting(!), and it had been my first episode seizure as well!
Posted 1 year ago # -
Sorry, I should have put that in quotes: "A heart that's full up like a landfill, a job that slowly kills you, bruises that wont heal." - No Surprises, Radiohead.
Posted 1 year ago # -
Woody, I can't believe everywhere is as dire as where I'm based, and that every para deals with the same dross that I do, therefore, I conclude that you are infect me.
Where did we leave my phone charger?
Posted 1 year ago # -
Being paid half what every one else is in my office as my predecesor was a retard so when the job assesment people visited they thought the job basically involved chewing your tongue and staring at the ceiling.
Now I have turned the job around and got national recognition for my work and every time I address a conference I just want to plead from the podium for someone to offer me a job and pay me good money. Every time I've dropped a hint people say "oh we couldn't afford someone like you"- Yes you can, I assure you!!
Half the office play kiss chase all day and I get treated like the outside for taking my job seriously. Although a lot of the real freeloaders got made redundant the other month.
Posted 1 year ago # -
What make my spirit sink,
My Nutty Sister!
Being put on hold!
Idiots who take your order, then don't order it
Unsolicited sales calls!
Indian call centres!
Time it takes for cheques to clear!
premenstrual women!
Lawnmowers breaking down!
Doing Accounts
Litter!
Dog Poo!
Cat Poo!Posted 1 year ago # -
Anything out of the ordinary mid week - tyre fires, fights, snow, rain, lightning, practicals going wrong, someone calling another students mum a lesbian then chinning each other.
Unless of course I don't have any classes in the afternoon then it's great.
Posted 1 year ago # -
Constant threat of redundancy!
Posted 1 year ago # -
si_progressivebikes - Member
"Bureaucratic nonsense like this is far more prevalent in the private sector."
Becuase of all the crap that successive governments have imposed on them due to H&S etc and the fact that they are worried about the claim culture?
Sort of. Almost none of it is mandatory but its all about box ticking and giving a good impression - its also " bright idea of the week" from regional management.
I was once told to write down everything that residents who didn't finish their meals ate. Not for a few days to see a pattern but for ever. No one would ever look at this data, it took time I could have spent making sure they had enough to eat. Just wasting my time and I was threatened with disciplinary for not doing it.
Barnslymitch - I think it all depends where you work but the nursing home I work in part time is a bureaucratic nightmare - far far worse than the NHS units I also work in.
If the staff nurse did all the paper nonsense they are supposed to do it would occupy their entire time. No time to see a patient.
Posted 1 year ago # -
Another one that makes my heart sink
Logging on to the computer at work ( nhs) to be told my password had expired again and I had to change it. Why oh why do I need a new password every 6 wks? I don't have high level access, it reduces security as everyone writes their passwords down, the new one you try to use is rejected for being too similar to the last one, you end up forgetting it and having to have your password reset by IT
AAAARRRRGGHHHHHHHH
Posted 1 year ago # -
+1TJ,
I'd forgotten that one despite being warned I had to change it again this morning. How many memorable words and number combos can one person have?Posted 1 year ago # -
I'd forgotten that one despite being warned I had to change it again this morning. How many memorable words and number combos can one person have?
A long time ago now, but... getting securtity notices stuck on my desk, computer etc because I had yet again failed to lock my desk, put my lab note book away or turn my computer off.
FFS I worked in washing powders at the lowest level, it's not like Tom Cruise is going to suspend himself from the ceiling read my files and say "ah, run code 2333 had a higher alkali level than other runs, that must be the secret"
Posted 1 year ago # -
LOL!
lol, however an employee at my old workplace managed to black mail the managing director using credentials from an unlocked PC while the user was away.
Took us a month to find out who it was.
Posted 1 year ago # -
Threads like this make me really curious as to what people do.
Like PracticalMatt for instance - intriguing.
Posted 1 year ago # -
Big Wigs making decissions about taking away funding from services they know F*** all about. As per many a Public Sector at the mo thanks to the Tories!! Again...
Posted 1 year ago # -
1. Tends to p1ss me off that short term thinkers are often so heavily rewarded, and that those who think longer term aren't. Admittedly this is a gripe that extends well beyond the workplace.
2. Colleagues that send Instant Messages with opening lines such as
'Need to speak to you mega-urgently'
erm... try the phone then you f***ing kn0bhead. Then, if you ignore them for 20minutes they send a
'?'
Posted 1 year ago # -
On my rounds at work last night putting the double locks on I'm at the back of B wing & suddenly get this torrent of abuse from some unknown prisoner, calling me all sorts of boll0x, now I normally work on G wing so no doubt this creature doesn't even know me!
Anyway I shouted for him to tell me what pad he's in but no, he just keeps the abuse up. I eventually shout out ' I know who you are, It's Mr Nobody, going nowhere' All he can then manage is '**** off'!
I quite enjoy working with prisoners but It's a bit downheartening when you get this type of crap.Posted 1 year ago # -
buzz-lightyear - Member
Sorry, I should have put that in quotes: "A heart that's full up like a landfill, a job that slowly kills you, bruises that wont heal." - No Surprises, Radiohead.Hah, no bother. Must admit, I didn't recognise the lines but I was initially joking since you're a pretty chirpy bloke. Just before I sent it I wondered if you were serious but figured what I wrote was OK either way (I took the smiley off, just in case, though
)
Posted 1 year ago # -
getting up a 4 in the morning to drive **** miles to have to:
crawl into a 3 ft high gap full of radiation and mercury;
or
jump around in clinical waste to retrieve samples to see if it's been sterilised;
or
run up and down a runway in a plane as it fills with smoke to determine what it is, where it's coming from or if I'm going to catch fire, while the fire crews watch at a distance with the same look on their faces as penguins who've just kicked their mate into the water to see if there are any killer whales about;and then to have a holiday and have clients and management bombard me with shite all starting with the phrase "I see from your out of office that you are on holiday, however could you just....."
time to find a new job, or change industry all together
Posted 1 year ago # -
Realising that a lot of the people that I work with have the same level of maturity as a 5 yr old. Gets right on your tits
Posted 1 year ago # -
me:
id like to take next week as annual leavemy boss:
are you sure? we have a lot of work to do, i think you may have to consider coming in at weekendsPosted 1 year ago # -
tazzymtb - Member
run up and down a runway in a plane as it fills with smoke to determine what it is, where it's coming from or if I'm going to catch fire, while the fire crews watch at a distance with the same look on their faces as penguins who've just kicked their mate into the water to see if there are any killer whales about;
time to find a new job, or change industry all togetherI should Coco, quote of the week there mate
Posted 1 year ago # -
Clear desk policies.
And
The numpty who decided we must lock our laptops to the desktop with a cable. I work out of the office at least 4 days a week and *must* (disciplinary offence) lock it to something wherever I am. In a hotel today; not one desk had any way of locking anything to it and at lunch, despite the room being locked and me having the only key, I am compelled to take the frickin thing with me into the lunch room and presumably keep it with me whilst I chew. Oh - I can't cos the security policy forbids leaving it on the floor next to me unlocked, or putting it back in the car or merely leaving it in the training room...
*plip*
Posted 1 year ago # -
Rich_s - Member
Clear desk policies.
Rich are you working for our firm
Oh yes I will clear my desk into a big bin bag & then when you ask me about a random bit of paper chucked on there 6 months ago I will say "clear desk"
Posted 1 year ago # -
Control freak that neat picks with no respect for others.
Posted 1 year ago # -
When you go to the fridge at work for some milk for a coffee and the Tw*ts on night shift have used it all for there brecky cereal. Bring your own milk for cereal you B*stards!
Posted 1 year ago # -
The bloke in our office who probably has more qualifications than the rest of us combined, yet dresses and smells like a hobo
Posted 1 year ago #
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