For my sins I'm presently designing a magazine aimed at Cheshire set people with more money than sense.

I'm just doing a page layout of essentials that young Tabatha and Tarquin will be requiring when they return to their esteemed educational establishments. A typical example:

"Shoes are by Christian Louboutin of course! Not quite the type of shoe you’d play footie in, but these numbers are sure to earn you some points in the playground. Finally the boys get a chance to wear Christian Louboutin footwear with these fabulous sneakers – they even have that covetable red sole!
Christian Louboutin for men, from £395"

I hate this ****ing job. It makes me want to kill people. French revolution style 🙁

A friend of my estranged wife's selects the products (and I think writes the gushing descriptions of them) that appear on the equivalent page of a magazine aimed at people who live, or wish to live, near the coast but are neither yachtsmen nor fisherfolk. A pretty small readership, one might imagine. One would be wrong.

Getting up for work and working.

my boss

I get made to undertake stupid assessments repeatedly that do not improve care – indeed occupy so much of my time that they reduce the amont of time I have to give care.

A classic example. i was told I had to do pain assessments hourly on a patient. The patient was peacefully sleeping. Each one takes a few minutes and a uses up and A4 form. I had to do this 12 times in a shift and each assessment showed zero pain.
utter waste of my time and dispiriting as I was not allowed to use my professional judgement

Every single day some hilarious comment about how bad British cuisine is and at least once a week the old professors in my department "forgetting" that I'm not the secretary (I'm the first – and only – female "scientific" member of staff in my department).

Going to work and not earning much money.

The first episode in the new series of Britain's Got Talent drew a record peak audience of 12.2 million viewers

makes me despair of living in this country

Some of my customers. Took aaaages to persuade one company, and I knew it would work, only for him to tell me after a few months "I should have done this months ago…"

Pay day. 😥

Oh dear christ!!! Its getting worse. I swear to god I have not just made this up. Its beyond parody:

"Be the envy of your friends with this old-school Soda Stream. This Limited Edition 24-carat gold-plated SodaStream is the pinnacle of chic and will make you the envy of all your friends! Price on request "

And even my sentence structures aren't that bad. She must have been very very excited

Work in General 🙁

Back pain
Stubbed toes
Ingrowing toenails
People with ankle/foot injuries who seemingly haven't bothered to wash since the last age
People who haven't washed since the last ice age
People with no comprehension of the meaning of the words 'Accident' and 'Emergency'
Any consultation that starts with the phrase 'Well doctor, it all started 3 years ago…..'
Any consultation that starts with the phrase 'Well, I was just passing so I thought i'd come in and get it checked out….'
Any consultation at 4a.m. that starts with the phrase 'Well, I thought you'd be quiet at this time of day….' (I WAS TIL YOU F'ING WELL TURNED UP)

Well, you did ask!!

"Can you have a think about…"

Which means "can you entirely plan, even though it's not your job…"

Price on request "

Well, how bloody much is it? Sounds cool. 😆

Cheshire Life, Cheshire Style Magazine or something else?

Generally love my job, the lack of commute and the decent money. Hateful I know.

Our workplace has these passive-aggressive little notes dotted about the place. One on the microwave saying 'if you make a slop, wipe it up'; one on the kitchen wall saying 'it's not the cleaners job to clean up after you'(*) and so on.

The notes aren't the problem, it's that I work in an office supposedly staffed by intelligent adults, and they need little notes dotted about the place effectively telling them to wipe their own arses.

(* – and anyway, surely that's exactly what their job is?!)

the world appears to be full of cleaners whose jobs aren't to clear up after those that work in the buildings that they are paid to clean.

and it appears to take two people at once to empty bins. or drink tea.

Speaking of which,

At my previous place of work we had a fixed water heater for brewing up, with a tap on it like you see on water coolers sometimes. Some brain donor managed to dribble a few drops of near-boiling water on the back of their hand and kicked off to HR, so they came to me as Guardian Of The Dymo to put a label on the thing.

I argued that if someone is dense enough to stick their hand under boiling water then a) it serves them right, b) it'll be a learning experience for them and c) labels aren't going to help the intellectually subnormal that we evidently employ. I fell on deaf ears.

So I stuck a Dymo label on the water saying "Warning, contents may be hot." I figured better safe than sorry, so I then labelled the water cooler "warning, contents may be wet" and the fridge "Warning: contents may be cooled." The sink taps got "warning, contents may be lukewarm" and the microwave "warning, contents may be irradiated."

HR never asked me to label anything else. Can't think why.

Going to work and not earning much money.

+1 despite being one of two people who has a qualification related to what I'm doing I'm lower paid than the admin lass, the lady who does 3 days, the 2 polish chippies, the 2 scottish chippies, the workshop guy, the lady who shouts while working and I'm marginally better paid than the bosses son who is training.

Still I have just set up a lottery direct debit and thought I'd treat myself to 2 tickets for each draw. 💡

the people who do little or no work and find it amusing, dissappear for hours on end, critise but give no advice

and the people who refuse to manage them

Working for a "world class" company with "a promise to our customer".

The sound of the Alarm Clock

My job.
The **** I work with.
The pay.
Everything else.

Stokies
Scousers
Geordies
Bmw drivers
Mercedes drivers
people who talk to me like sh1t because I work on the phones. Guess what you speak to me like crap. You get a crap deal I won't help you!! F*ckers!
people in general
Everybody else except my mrs and the kids!!!

"Previously fit and well"

Words to make your heart sink when used about a potential Intensive care admission….

Could mean exactly what it says, usually means someone who can't actually stand up without being breathless…

Things I get on a daily basis said to me :

"aaahhhh get ma paaay on thurrsdaayy maaan"
its your benefits, not your pay.

" ahh puuure pay yuur waagess "
no, i pay them, you sponge them.

"ahh neeed a doooctuurr to gee me ma vallies fur ma depresshun"
with your lifestyle, i'm not surprised, are you presecribed them?
"naw"
well, the answers no then

etc etc etc

Traffic.

the dripping overflow contents of the blocked bogs upstairs that came through the ceiling for the second time in about a month and about 4th in a year

(luckily there wasn't about 50 gallons like last time – when they "definitely fixed it, for good this time", I'm only glad they hadn't wasted money on the promised new carpetting; the old shite-soaked one's almost like an old friend now)

I love the smell of sewage in the morning 🙄

I work from home 3 out of the 5 days in the week. I have really started to hate the 2 days when i have to get up and go to work :-/

Sometimes, when I pour my tea from the tea pot at break times, it hasn't been brewed for long enough. 🙁

I get made to undertake stupid assessments repeatedly that do not improve care – indeed occupy so much of my time that they reduce the amont of time I have to give care…….

utter waste

I thought there was no waste in the NHS and everything was peachy? 😉

the fact i'm sat my computer at 9.00pm filling out an application form to keep my own job knowing if i don't finish it tonight I'll not be able to go out riding tommorrow night or go away to the lakes for the weekend.

Nick

People asking me why i'm not out riding my bike.

'It's seven weeks late'

'Better than eight'

(when it's your nuts on the line, not theirs….)

Reading some of the above comments I probably could do with some perspective!

Arriveing at a job, and being told youre to early or late, even if its only a few minutes,

Customers telling me i could do it, but i havent got the time, (or my words the tools or any idea how to use them),

Customers not offering a cup of tea,

customers who say take your shoes off before you walk on the carpets,(even though youll be working partly outside and inside)

Customers with animals who are supposedly placid, and then go and attack me,last dog who tried that the customer said he hasnt done that before, to which i patted the dog on the back with the hammer and said strange ive never done that before.

Customers who say will it take long, despite telling them before you arrive, it would be a days work,

children who find it funny to nick your tools,

adults who nick your tools and dont give them back,then deny theyve took them,

Neighbours who complain youre parked on their spot on the street, despite it being an empty street,

Neighbours who complain about the noise,

Neighbours who ask what your doing in the neighbours house,

Nowt really, I like my job.

Sorry! 😀

I thought there was no waste in the NHS and everything was peachy?
POSTED 6 MINUTES AGO # REPORT-POST

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sometimes, when I pour my tea from the tea pot at break times, it hasn't been brewed for long enough.

Its an OUTRAGE! 🙂

TandemJeremy – Member
I get made to undertake stupid assessments repeatedly that do not improve care – indeed occupy so much of my time that they reduce the amont of time I have to give care.

A classic example. i was told I had to do pain assessments hourly on a patient. The patient was peacefully sleeping. Each one takes a few minutes and a uses up and A4 form. I had to do this 12 times in a shift and each assessment showed zero pain.
utter waste of my time and dispiriting as I was not allowed to use my professional judgement

Posted 3 hours ago # Report-Post

Join a union they will protect your rights, and will never now go on strike the con-dem lot are in