Little techniques in life that make you all of TEH AWSUM!

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Little techniques in life that make you all of TEH AWSUM!

122 posts & 63 voices | Started 5 months ago by CaptainFlashheart | Latest reply from jojoA1

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CaptainFlashheart - Member

You know the sort of thing....Surely?

For me, it's the deftness with which I flick a little finger downwards on lifting a beer glass from a damp beer mat. None of that "coaster hanging from the glass before dropping with a splat in to lunch" for me, oh no.

Glass gripped with thumb and three fingers, and just on the moment of lift, the little finger shoots downwards, pinning the soggy coaster of doom to the table of destiny.

So, what are your priceless little life skills that make you all of teh awsum?

Posted 5 months ago #
The Southern Yeti - Member

Breathing.

Posted 5 months ago #
AdamW - Member

Binners can do something with his eyeballs, I understand.

Posted 5 months ago #
Stoner - Member

I can finely chop half an onion into 4mm cubes in <7s

Posted 5 months ago #
crikey - Member

My eyesight involves me using spectacles for all close up stuff, but my job involves me needing to see well at all distances. I tend to wear my specs on my head, then a quick nod forwards brings them down onto my nose.

I know, I know, it's a skill...

Posted 5 months ago #
philconsequence - Member

my insanely incredible best in the worldest level of modesty.

Posted 5 months ago #
bikebouy - Member

As I live and breath.. I am indeed Most Awesome.

Posted 5 months ago #
don simon - Member

Recognising that you can not choose awesome, rather that AWESOME is bestowed on you by others.
EDIT: See.

Posted 5 months ago #
ton - Member

bikebouy=fail

Surfmatt is teh awesome...........

Posted 5 months ago #
portlyone - Member

Ability to count to 10. Repeatedly.

Posted 5 months ago #
The Southern Yeti - Member

It takes a particularly great person to hand out Awesome.

Posted 5 months ago #
Sue_W - Member

I can wiggle my ears

(OK, I know, definately not awesome ... just a bit quirky ... sigh ...)

Posted 5 months ago #
Stoner - Member

I can wiggle my ears

snap.

I can snort a condom up my nostril and round the back of my throat. Pull it back out of my mouth and squeegee my sinus with it. But I dont think it's that awesome and havent done it in public for 20 years

Posted 5 months ago #
bikebouy - Member

I am indeed that Great Person..

As I look in the mirror (very often) I turn, take one last peek, as I leave it looking sideways and agree out loud that I am indeedy Most Awesome.

It is ok to hand it out to yourself..

Anyone else Most Awesome?

As for techniques, erm.. I can windsurf a bit, so I get wet a lot, which makes me even more Most Awesome.

I can too understand what Elf types, which in itself is a Most Awesome ability I have.

And I stay on here, which when you look at it makes us All Most Awesome.

Posted 5 months ago #
Torminalis - Member

My favourite skills are:

1) The ability to gently close the fridge door with a trailing leg whilst spinning through 180deg away from aforementioned fridge.
2) Being able to check neutral, remove seatbelt, lock steering, apply handbrake, turn off indicators and open car door in sequence at techno tempo.
3) Being able to type my very loooong password quickly without looking and with a flair on the enter key at the end. *double festive power grab*
4) Being able to remove the dog lead from the collar with what looks like a flick of the wrist but is actually very swift de-clasping.

These and many more are the skills which keep life interesting

Posted 5 months ago #
don simon - Member

I am indeed that Great Person..

As I look in the mirror (very often) I turn, take one last peek, as I leave it looking sideways and agree out loud that I am indeedy Most Awesome.

It is ok to hand it out to yourself..

Anyone else Most Awesome?

As for techniques, erm.. I can windsurf a bit, so I get wet a lot, which makes me even more Most Awesome.

I can too understand what Elf types, which in itself is a Most Awesome ability I have.

And I stay on here, which when you look at it makes us All Most Awesome.

Being desperate is not awesome.

Posted 5 months ago #
philconsequence - Member

dont forget the bread sauce torm!

Posted 5 months ago #
Torminalis - Member

You my man get more roasts!

I am going to practice the little finger coaster trick. Sounds like a good addition to the repertoire.

Posted 5 months ago #
jedi - Member

i can do a hundred eye lash press ups

Posted 5 months ago #
CaptainFlashheart - Member

*double festive power grab*

Move forward three spaces for that. Very much of teh awsum!

Posted 5 months ago #
Harry_the_Spider - Member

I can flick my undies up with my foot and catch them on my head.

Posted 5 months ago #
scuzz - Member

I can spray saliva from the gland under my tongue accurately to several feet.

Posted 5 months ago #
Stoner - Member

I can spray saliva from the gland under my tongue accurately to several feet.

at will? Skillz.
I can only squirt when someone opens a bag of tanfastics within 3m of me.

Posted 5 months ago #
DezB - Member

I can flick my undies up with my foot and catch them on my head.

Who's wearing them? You or someone else?

Posted 5 months ago #
DezB - Member

+ and havent done it in public for 20 years

Yeah, keep practising it in private.

Posted 5 months ago #
16stonepig - Member

Undo bras with my left hand. Through clothing. I have upset many of my female friends with that one, after a few drinks. Aren't I awful.

Posted 5 months ago #
16stonepig - Member

I can only squirt when someone opens a bag of tanfastics within 3m of me.

Presumably that's a reflex action?

Posted 5 months ago #
thegreatape - Member

So you lot will all be looking forward to 10th March then.

Posted 5 months ago #
chvck - Member

I can put my hands just in front of me and rotate them in opposite directions in circles. I can also clasp hands together and do the same with my thumbs...I'm a bit sad!

Posted 5 months ago #
GrahamS - Member

I can flick my undies up with my foot and catch them on my head.

Ahh but can you catch them behind your back, then place them on your head while speaking Russian?

www.youtube.com/watch?v=qMLYTZNmUmw

Posted 5 months ago #
DezB - Member

chvck - that reminds me of something this girl was demonstrating to her friend on the train a while ago. She could do all these tricks with her fingers she'd learnt in church meetings (not relevant, but that's what she said!)

Let me try to describe one.
Hold your hands in front of your face with your index fingers touching
Now with your left finger you draw a square (about 8") in the air. Start at the top and draw downwards, then out, up, then back to where you started.
Simultaneously, your right finger draws a straight line up and down.
So for each line your left finger draws, your right goes first down, then up.

It's bloody hard to do!

(She also did one with her little fingers and thumbs but that's too hard to describe.)

Posted 5 months ago #
The Southern Yeti - Member

I'm trying to think of practical applications for that girls unique talents... was she able to talk fast... especially tongue movement at the same time?

Posted 5 months ago #
muckytee - Member

head while speaking Russian?

I can do the speaking Russian part

I can use ticket machines and self service checkouts like a boss, If you hear "please wait for assistance" - you have failed.

Posted 5 months ago #
flip - Member

After i put something in the dishwasher i turn around and close the door with a footy back flip...

Posted 5 months ago #
Torminalis - Member

If you hear "please wait for assistance" - you have failed.

Even if you are buying booze?

Posted 5 months ago #