So let’s say you get to the pearly gates and on your way in, you get a print out detailing as much or as little data as you want.

What stats would you want to know?

Total miles ridden?
Longest poo?
Calories consumed?
Score out of 100?

Number of hours sat at a desk.

Yeah, number of hours where you actually enjoyed yourself (not feigned enjoyment)
Number of hours arguing with other humans
Number of hours of human interaction
Number of hours travelling, likewise number of hours being stationary
Number of hours spent drinking alcohol
Number of hours spent eating
Number of hours spent in sunshine
Number of hours spent in darkness

Amount of cake and number of steak bakes eaten.

Number of times STW refresh button hit

Loudest and longest fart.

hours left

Ton, if you’re at the pearly gates, I’m pretty sure ‘hours left’ will be zero…

So let’s say you get to the pearly gates

Forget stats, I want to know where are the loos and what time is lunch?

Real ales/ pies consumed.
Miles pedalled.
Countries visited.
Time spent complaining about the youth of today
Number of times i have thought about Sienna Miller in an “unholy” way..

Shag:Fap ratio.

Average time for an STW thread to descend into SmutLand

Number of people influenced positively.
Cycling height gain in m.

Total amount of weight lifted in the gym.

Stoner – Member
Shag:Fap ratio.

POSTED 34 MINUTES AGO # REPORT-POST SHARE

FAP??
“fondling another penis”

Ohh, err whatever floats yer boat..

Time spent procrastinating
Number of times I’ve tried to shoehorn anthropomorphic in to a sentence
Hours spent with my son
Overall time cycling
Number of swear words used

To be honest, I think that getting to the pearly gates (assuming that there is an afterlife in the traditional Christian sense), would be enough that I would be happy. Stats would detract from that achievement.

Pearly gates vs eternal damnation ratio