Firstly, I'm not trolling. This is ether a brave or stupid thing, I guess only the outcome will determine which.
at 36, as a debauched "sinner", whom for years has felt at odds with the world, who has sought solace in drink, drugs, women & and pretty much everything else available in excess, I actually think I am taking the first tentative steps to heal the scars and become a better man.
I have, for sometime been questioning my "luck", my "lot" and even my "life". I did and do occasionally find it very hard to accept the existence of God, or of any "God".
It's easy to have belief in Science, I do, I understand the internal combustion engine, to believe that we are simply biological organisms competing for existence & reproduction is acceptable. And I don't really understand how or why magnets work except for practical applications; I'm damn sure copper bracelets, holograms and such like are a load of old cock.
But what of faith? I find it very hard to overcome my inner sceptic, When talking about having faith I can't help but feel stupid, the mental image of Christians happily clapping in rainbow jumpers, speaking in tongues or circumcising their infants on the eighth day and other such activity is not something I'm particularly comfortable with.
However, in times of great strain or desperation, which in my life there have been a few, I do pray, to whom I don't know, but it does give me comfort. And that to me is the basis of a Faith.
I have often dismissed the Bible and its many churches, I cannot ignore the horror man inflicts upon man in the name of God and I also find it hard to give weight to something that is undoubtedly of the hand of man, even though it is said to contain the word of God.
So what am I getting at, well, this weekend I picked up a copy of the bible (NIV for those interested) and I am going to give it some time, thought and effort. Why? for myself.
Mock me all you like, this is the beginning of a journey into faith, I'll let you know how I get on with it.
So far its all good, read Luke2, David & Goliath and a few others this morning, Its actually quite enjoyable as a book, anyone care to suggest any passages? the Bible I have does contain a "journey plan" which I'm following but I'm also opening it at random and reading now and then.
Oh I might also add that I was educated CoE so a lot of this is very familiar to me already, I don't currently belong to any particular church but I may give it a go in the future.
Thats about it so far, I'm currently unsaved but who knows.
what are your thoughts on this, any suggestions?
