im 34 and starting to become concious of my age.im going out on the town this weekend and whilst i dont actually care, im starting to think people may be looking at me and judgeing me on my age.i dont judge others or those younger than me,but i do remeber when iwas younger i looked at people older tahn me and i did judge them 😳
my question really is why do they say life begins at forty? i love going out and acting the fool but im beginning to think that i dont fit in in central town and i should be just going to out of town pubs and "acting my age" but frankly i dont want to.
im not saying that when you get to forty your over the hill, not that at all, but whats so great about being forty?thats my main question i suppose??

My limited experience & anecdotal evidence suggests it's about being more comfortable with yourself and doing what you want.

Nothing is different – you do what you want to do when you want to do it. If someone wants to judge you then let them – it should have no bearing on what you do and how you feel.

(42 yrs old)

whilst i dont actually care, im starting to think people may be looking at me and judgeing me on my age.

Doesn't sound like you don't care TBH. Are you aging badly? 🙂

but whats so great about being forty

Nothing[1]. Getting older is crap but it's part of life. As cynic-al says, you have to be happy with yourself and not bothering too much what people around you think. Not being like that means you're heading for a whole world of hurt in the long run.

[1] Before I passed forty I did think there were some good things about being that age. Being able to race with the vets and hence win everything, being able to tell people you're old enough to be their dad and can still beat them up a hill, being able to call coppers 'sonny'.

It was all a poor substitute for being young. (And obviously the racing against vets thing was a complete lie – the buggers are no slower and can ride for longer)

What MF said…. forty was really no problem at all, but I'm starting to get concerned about 50 (got a bit before that though) 😕

Stuff 'em. Do what you want. I probably stop go out in my sister's jeans with the top of my pants/ass showing though.

(aged 41 1/4)

Dont Know cant remember, what was the question again.

when iwas younger i looked at people older tahn me and i did judge them

The best thing about getting old is you don't worry about what people think about you – so while you were busy judging the 'old folk' – they didn't give a toss!!!

(41yrs old)

it's just a number.. in a couple of years you'll find yourself having to have a wee think about it if someone asks your age 😉

Actually for me developing a 'couldn't give a toss what others think' attidtude came more by being out and about with my children – it's difficult to look cool and be bothered by others opinions when you've got some baby honking up it's last feed down your back. Having said that, I now take a positive delight in makign my teenage son embarassed in public by doing 'Dad' stuff (dancing in record shops etc) – I tell him it's not as bad as what he did to me.

I don't go to nightclubs etc anymore though. Mainly cause I tend to fall asleep and snore if I either drink more than 2 pints or stay out after 11pm.

Luke (age 44 & 3/4).

I love being 40 (41 in 3 weeks) my step daughter aged 14 actually listened to me last night and took it all in 🙄

People seem to listen to me too. I'm far happier with myself than even 5yrs ago, certainly more happy than in my twenties.

As for going out 40 is the new 21 8)

There's not that much to be thrilled about really, other than the fact that you do begin to feel more comfortable in your own skin. Forget going clubbing, you'll just look ridiculous. Forty – that's nothing, I'm fifty this time round! 😕

My bro-in-law is 51. Told me a top story:

His friend's son needed picking up from a party, he (BIL's friend, dad) was to do it, son was really ***y about it, "text me and wait a few doors down" etc. Dad does so, son walks out to car with mates needing lifts hme, dad is…dressed as a woman!

I lolled.

Hell if your worrying at 34 Nearly at the halfway point to the 3 score and ten

then spare a thought for the over 50s over 60s and those on borrowed time over 70 .

when I was younger I thought that life would begin at 16… and it did

then I thought it would really begin at 21 … and it did..
then I hit 25 and I knew that it had truly begun.. until I hit 30 when I realised that up until then I had been but a young fool.. and now I was 30 I REALLY knew what was going on..

I'm 36 this summer.. and have no doubt whatsoever that my life will really begin at 36..
or maybe 38…
or 40

or 50?
76?
81…..?

Sadly samuri seems to be experiencing an extended mid life crisis 🙁 I have to say I'm looking forward to being 60 in 3 years' time, and inclined to feel that most of the supposed burden of age are wished onto people by their own expectations of decline. Apart from my back being slighly less limber that when I was 20 I don't feel much different at all, and having lost the crushing shyness and depression I used to suffer then I'm much happier and don't envy youth.

There is nothing particularly good (or bad) about being forty, or not that I remember anyway(it was a long time ago). It's just an arbitary age, after all.

cynic-al has it right IMHO in that it's all about being comfortable with yourself and doing what you genuinely want to do – in other words not acting like a 16 year old arse just to appear "younger" when you really know better nor going to "out of town pubs" because you think it's what people your age "should" do (is it ?).

I'm still doing some of the same things that I did forty years ago (never mind when I was forty) like playing in bands, riding bikes off-road (without engines now though), enjoying the "company" of attractive women (or the one that I'm now married to, at least),having a beer or two, taking some photographs, whatever I fancy really.

I'm pretty comfortable with myself as I approach 58, and no, I don't mean smug and self satisfied – I just mean that I don't go out of my way to try and live up to some stereotypical image that people "my age" are supposed to have.
I wear what I like, drink where I like and mix with people whose company I enjoy. Whether they're 25 or 95 makes no difference to me.

>but whats so great about being forty<

Because right now you've got at least another 10 years before having to worry about whats so great about being 50. And so on…

Worst thing you can do I think is beat yourself up about your age. You'll spend time worrying about that instead of just living life and making the best of the time you have. + you've known for years you'd get older – hardly a surprise is it?
One of the things I love about mountain biking is it keeps you young – typical group ride is a bunch of mid 30s/40s blokes playing on their bikes in the mud and the woods with their mates. Much as we did when we were 12 🙂
Oh and as I've got older I've crawled up the career ladder and earned a little more. So now I can ride whatever bike I want, not compromise on ££ which I had to do when I was younger!

36 3/4

dad is…dressed as a woman!

and

dancing in record shops

……class, absolute class 🙂

Apart from my back being slighly less limber that when I was 20 I don't feel much different at all, and having lost the crushing shyness and depression I used to suffer then I'm much happier and don't envy youth.

Exactly the same here, Simon.

The saying 'life begins at forty' came about because that was your age, when your kids started leaving home, and you started to have more freedom and less responsibilities as a result! I know how things have changed!!

I struggled with forty, and at 44, I'm still coming to terms with it to be honest. It's that age where you assess where you are in life, and it may not be what you imagined when growing up.

calling them 'record shops' rather shows my age, doesn't it!

Nothing particularly great and nothing particularly bad – as has bene said by others it's just an age, a (society introduced) milestone along the path of life. The majority of the time I don't think aboiut my age or what it means. I am, though, conscious that I am older and that it does take a little more effort to maintain fitness and to lose the odd pound or so when needed. And that I am no longer as fast as I was when I was younger (running that is – get me in a car though and I could teach me at 21 a thing or two!).

The one interesting thing over the past year or two though is I have a more tangible understanding of what drives people to a "mid life crisis".

44 and counting…

Or on the flip side of woodsman experiences, I got married at 40, and just had my first child at 43, its a lovely experience and yes a new life. 🙂

50 next time round… how long until I become a lecherous old goat?

Seriously, when she was 85 my grandma told me she still felt exactly as she did when she was 18, the only difference being her body didn't work quite so well now! What did they get up to in that old folks home??????

I agree what others have said:

you know more about who you are within yourself and you sort of get to a point in life where you're happy in your head about what you have and where you have got to, and where you are going.

you know mostly whats important to you and what really doesnt matter.

you generally become comfortable being who you are.

the phrase 'life begins..' is a sumation of that. IMHO.

36 here. I realise that's not particularly old (especially for this thread 😈 ), but, mostly, other people seem to be more bothered about how old I am than me?

It's a number, that's all, and it's up to you whether you let it bother you.

IMO liking yourself is the important thing and thus feeling comfortable in your own skin.

I rock up to group rides and 99 times out of 100 I will be the oldest. Doesn't bother me anymore, in mtb circles you're just accepted for what you are. 🙂

As for a mid-life crisis, I'm probably not the best person to ask. cinnamon_boy was despatched, I bought a bling bike and have been behaving badly ever since. 😉

C_G
(over 50)

and don't envy youth.

Jeez. I'm sorry you didn't seem to have a good youth Simon. Mine was bloody fantastic but now I simply couldn't get away with the balls out, spur of the moment, death defying, hair on fire nonsense I could get away with then, which is probably more down to the responsibilities that come with advanced age rather than the age itself. I don't find myself desperately wishing I was young again and while I agree that the soul destroying depressive spells seem to get less severe as age increases, I see very little good things about the act of grower older.

I think the only real thing I can pluck out of the air is my migraines seem to have pretty much gone away. Not had one for over 6 months now.

I got married at 40, and just had my first child at 43, its a lovely experience and yes a new life

39 and 41 respectively here 🙂 and never happier. At the end of the day, even if you worry about people judging you, just tell yourself they will be in your position themselves too one day.

Sadly samuri seems to be experiencing an extended mid life crisis I have to say I'm looking forward to being 60 in 3 years' time, and inclined to feel that most of the supposed burden of age are wished onto people by their own expectations of decline. Apart from my back being slighly less limber that when I was 20 I don't feel much different at all, and having lost the crushing shyness and depression I used to suffer then I'm much happier and don't envy youth

Coming up to 66 and I agree with Simon's post especially the shyness.

wen you get ' older you start doing different activities…like ; walking up those mountains you promised to do, 'outdoor bowls' with the O.A.P group, swimming with the O.A.P.. and its a certain you always have to buy a flat cap whilst driving your Honda Accord….with map flapping around your face whilst desperately trying to see the white lines on the road-and staying to 30 miles an hour on the motorway in the middle lane !
hahahhaha ..
nah you much wiser and sensible at this age… gulp. she says…
im 43 coming up 44 and for last 2 years been loving riding the local fells and in the home of 'singletrack land'…there are certainly some killer hills….
dont let age bother you…. love life and do exactly what you want, stuff what people say- the're probably jelous that they cant ride up some huge hill at their ripe old age….lol

swimming with the O.A.P.. – tick.
whilst driving your Honda Accord – tick.

I don't heal as quickly as I used to which has made me more cautious 🙁

Lots of 44 year olds here, I am another, am just wondering if I should get stressed about being 50 in the near future but dont think I can be bothered.

I think physically I was at my best at 30ish, so am a bit peeved that I am heavier & not as fast as I was, I also seem to take longer to get over knocks & niggles…. but the flip side is that I am still doing all the things that I was at 30 with a like minded bunch of people & enjoying myself at least as much…. I cant take as much beer so relatively its cheeper having a night in the pub 🙂

I will tell you in 7 days time but I do think that the beginning of my life will be slightly marred by rain, cobbles, beer and frites – start as you mean to go on!

"Al Swearengen":

" …the world ends when you die. Until then, it's got more punishment to hand out. Stand it like a man, and give some back…"

I think tahe in your forties, you have enough experience of life to stop giving a damn about the things which can eat younger people up inside, this goes with the generally happy with life theme above. Plus hopefully your body is still in pretty good shape. Other benefits (depending on personal circumstance) can be a level of financial stability and if you are really lucky a fantastic relationship. I am in my mid forties and certainly dont long for youth. So dont worry, it'll either be fine, or it won't. If you worry the outcome will be the same, but with an ulcer.

Russell

PS, I believe that this peace of mind is why dads dance like dads are famous for at parties.