First of i need some guidance, this site has helped me and literally saved my life in the past and full of nice people no matter how different we are , so i need to ask on here for some anonymous advice.

Okay i’m 21 years old, unfortunately unemployed, overweight (a lot down to previous depression). I am diagnosed with ADHD. Not sure if any one knows me from my previous account ” Markymark93”. I posted a post about suicide , which my uncle saw (who i didn’t even realise was on here, and quite literally saved my life.

O was living in a bad home , extremely bad circumstances and hygienic unliveble for most. This was when I posted my ”thinking about suicide post”. Since then i have moved to another house with my mother and glad to say i am not suffering from depression any more, however i am still not , well happy. I havent had a girl for a proper relationship since i was 17 , well no more than a weekend thing, I exercise regularly on the bike yet i don’t see any slimming results other than stamina increase. I still live on a very low income , and worried incase i go back into doing bad things for money. I just need some positive advice please, this site has helped me incredible amounts.

To those who i was aggressive with from the ”thinking about suicide post”.
I apologise i was in a very unsure position extreme temper brake outs which i’m learning to control better.

More to life than this endless circle i am living in.

Live for the moment and just ride it all out.

I’m being convicted of gbh without intent towards my daughter who was less than 1 yr old when I lost my temper and broke her arm. If I get a custodial sentence I will lose everything. I’ve already lost my partner of 7 years, both my children, my family home. I stand to lose both my jobs, my hobbies that are the only thing keeping me going, the rest of my immediate family if I get jailed…

Yet each day I manage to wake up and enjoy my life to the fullest because I am currently living for that day. Don’t get me wrong i’m still dying to see my children again and maybe 1 day I can fix things with my ex partner but thinking about what ifs and maybes doesn’t help.

Try some support groups or a 121 counsellor (I have both but only pay for the 121). It really helps you to realise your not the only 1 and one day, some how, it will get better.

FWIW in regards to loss of temper and gbh without intent incase anyone’s sitting thinking ‘what an animal’, I’m getting the help I need through a support group, 121 counsellor and another anger management/domestic violence course. It is without a shadow of a doubt the worst thing I have ever done and so desperately wish I never did do. Suffering daily with severe swings of emotion due to guilt and upset, anxiety. Worst time of my life right now and it doesn’t feel like I can do much to ever make it right.

I got done for the say thing when i was 17, gbh without intent, but how did you manage to break your daughters arm by an accident? Sounds pretty graphic even for my standards.

Lose the weight and join the Foreign Legion as the army won’t have you with ADHD or the previous suicidal tendancies.

Thanks for your shit advice.

You’re welcome.

If not see a shrink and blab about your problems endlessly dude. Or you can keep yourself occupied by having no time to think, instead of staring at your computer at 2am thinking about how shit you are and/or how shit the world is.

Up to you. If I was single, I would tell my current boss to **** off and join.

evryone is different tho id only want to be in the uk army, I was guna say, if your life so much better why are you uo at this time on a sat night.

Fearless- Have you tried CBT cognitive behaviour therapy?
I suffer with confidence and anxiety issues with mild depression which I’ve had for many years but kept it well hidden away from friends and family until a couple of years ago. I decided enough was enough so went to the dr’s and managed to get put on a cbt course and some 121 counselling through a local charity and only pay what you can afford It really did help and I’m in a much better place. I do have moments where I feel not quite right so I just take stock and revisit some of the self help exercises I was given on the cbt course.
I find this site quite useful Get self help
The 121 counselling was great and really helped me open up and talk to family and friends about how I feel about myself.
Just take small steps at a time and things will slowly get better.

evryone is different tho id only want to be in the uk army, I was guna say, if your life so much better why are you uo at this time on a sat night.

Because I like having thinking and reading sessions when people are sleeping.

I make lists – it makes me feel as if am in control. I freely admit I am obsessive about this. You can laugh at my system – I do regularly. The way they work is:

I have the usual must be done today or otherwise it all goes shit shape. Things like do the washing up from last night, run the washing machine with work / school clothes in, go for a run / ride etc. The practical keep life ticking over ones but making no change to the status quo.

Then I have a medium term: I would like to change these things and a small tweak/ identifiable action could make these things happen eg I want to get fitter / lose weight. Next to each of these I have a list of actions to make them happen. For losing weight it looks like no eating biscuits or crisps for my elevenes and dringking black coffee when at work. Getting fitter is go runnning every second day. Once teh action has been identified it goes onto my short term list.

The third list is a long term aspirational goals – I want a better paid job. So I would like a RICS accreditation and a promotion at work. For these I put in anything I can change immediately to get nearer the goal and look out for oportunities that can get me closer. The good news is that this have now moved from my long term goals to my medium term and short term list. The great thing about the long term list is that it is almost possible to break them down into medium or short term list items, it just requires a bit of thought and a plan of action.

My final list is of things that would be nice, but I cannot influence to any great extent them so aren’t worth worrying about. eg the neighbours parking more considerately, Tony Blair being put on trial for war crimes, having a candidate to vote who’s policies I agree with.

Your post has several things you would like to change
Depression – worry that it will come back, no girlfriend, weight loss, lack of money, anger issues. Implicitly you seem worried about your lack of money and poor eating and I guess living with your Mum is something you would like to change at some point too. You also seem to have underlying self esteem issues. I am guessing it all seems a bit overwhelming when you look at as a whole, but as parts it is less so. None of the things you have listed are things that can’t be changed.

The weight & fitness can go on the short term list – Today go out for a bike ride & ride 1 mile longer than your usual route, and reduce the amount you eat – say no to one fattening item on your usual scoff list or reduce your portion size for everything (including drink!) by a quarter. Also when you get back take a really honest look at the amount and types of food/ drink you are eating and see which is easiest to change. Tomorrow you will be able to look at today’s list and say you have achieve something that is bringing you closer to where you see yourself.

Lack of money – medium term list. No experience? Find some through the volountary sector, poorly paid job find ways to increase your worth through training – the library and job centre are good for this. Once you have identified the steps put those steps onto your do today list.
Anger & depression – speak to your dr and find out where you can get help, or explore oportunities that other posters have identified – depending where you are up to they can go onto the short or medium term list.

Self esteem – long term list. Keep a diary of your achievements ( I keep my lists in books so I can review how far I have come) They have my running times, dates that I did something, etc. I am a little obsessive so I write a review once a month to keep me on track – I identify the things that I did well (behaviours to repeat) and those that didn’t (so will change next time). I am one of life’s drifters so I need this. You may not.

Girlfriend – she will turn up. This is a classic you cannot do anything to influence them so stop worrying. As you improve your self worth in your eyes people will value you more. Change the things you can and want to – leave other people to worry about the other stuff.

Which ever way you decide to tackle it I hope it works out.

I lost my temper with her when she wouldn’t settle (I have 2 children and my eldest is 2 and youngest is 1, I never acted like this before) and I grabbed her arm abruptly picking her up and it broke like that. Supercondular fracture caused by hyper extensions.

It was 6 months ago and im still having sleepless nights 4 or 5 out of 7 per week…