It’s just a pipe dream at this point, well an opportunity anyway.

Fair warning this is a long anxiety riddled post.

My Dad runs the training department of the National Oil Company of Bahrain, he’s been telling me for years the money that’s on offer, the lack of tax and ‘lifestyle’. My folks have lived there for 15 years or so.

“They’re always recruiting” he says, being that he’s the boss and nepotism is not just accepted in Bahrain, it’s celebrated I wouldn’t have too much of a problem getting a job. My wife is a Nurse and would hate to be a housewife but it seems Nursing is one of the jobs women routinely do there she shouldn’t struggle to find a job in the local hospital.

For the first time in my life I’m considering it. I’m 40 in a few weeks and I’m sure that playing a part in my thinking – we’d go for 2-3 years, save some cash and come back – that’s what my folks plan was 15 years go mind you.

We both work really hard, we both earn decent if not great money, nursing pay isn’t great but I earn a wedge more so we get by – but that’s just it all we ever do is get by, there’s a couple of reasons for that, I can’t go into detail without sounding like an over-grown spoiled brat – I know that there’s a lot of people a lot more worse off than us, this isn’t about lifting out of poverty as much as making up for lost time. We’ve really over-stretched ourselves this summer, really stupidly over-stretched ourselves, I’m totally ashamed of myself over it.

We rent our home and that’s the thing that really hurts, by luck and good friends we rent a lovely house in a lovely area, it’s not cheap at £900 a month, but it’s actual rental value is £1500ish (friends didn’t want strangers in their house) and if we tried to buy it, well we couldn’t – it’s £400k easy and that would mean a £20k deposit (we’d be lucky to get half that) and £1800 a month which isn’t going to happen even if some crazy bank would lend that to us, that’s more then my Wife’s take home pay.

In truth in 18 months when we leave this place if everything goes to plan, almost perfectly in fact we’re looking at a buying 3 bed semi miles from where we are now, a long commute and 25 years of stressing about bills and getting by and if all goes well it’s paid for, just as I’m retiring – and a modest retirement income.

“If all goes to plan” is a bit of a worry as well, my Wife works for the NHS, post June 8th if the Tories are returned to power, which they’re still on plan to do then we can forget any pay rises or the like and job security comes into question, I work for a small 6-person company and we’re struggling, we always have done, cash-flow is always so tight we’re often robbing Peter to pay Paul, there’s a couple of big opportunities on the cusp of coming off which would put me in a position to ask for a rise, my first in 3 years or so, and help secure the company but equally if they don’t come off I worry about the long term health of the company – I know we’re currently paying either Q2 or Q3 2016 VAT bills and I’m not sure if we’re catching up or falling behind on them, we had a record year last year… Either way it’s a dead-end job, I report to the boss, he’s 3 year older than me it’s not a case of stepping into his shoes when he retires, in 5 years I’ve learned a good few skills, but nothing formal – I don’t really have anything really quantifiable I could put on my CV now that I couldn’t 5 years ago, I’ve no where to go here and little to help me go anywhere else.

if things don’t go to plan it’s likely that our mortgage deposit will go, and it’s taken an inheritance to get it, at 40 there’s only so long you can get a mortgage, renting for the next couple of decades would mean an uncertain and poor retirement. That’s without considering the whole B-word uncertaincy.

As for Bahrain, truth is I’ve never been, talking to my folks over the years I’ve got a more than a clue about it, the hypocrisy, the repression, and the excess – the expats like to say “oh it’s better and Saudi and Dubai” and it is, but only in the why Fred West was better than Harrold Shipman – there would always a morality worry for me, but on the plus side, excellent private school for the kids, my sister (18 years younger than me) was educated there, she’s waiting for her degree results at the moment from Oxford, business law degree, on track for a first, I flunked out of A-levels and didn’t go to Uni. More income and a whole lot less expenses – in 2-3 years we could be debt free and doubled our savings whilst I could gain useful, quantifiable, marketable skills working under the old man.

We’d be living in a compound, surrounded by a high wall and armed guards “just in case”. During the unrest a few years ago they surrounded it with Tanks, nice.

We wouldn’t worry about bills, wouldn’t be cold (we both hate winter) and probably be a bit bored. Neither of us are drinkers, but that doesn’t seem to be an issue anyway. There’s no MTBing as far as I can tell, but who wants to ride through a desert in 40c heat anyway.

It’s sad, but at the moment there’s little in the way of opportunity for us in the UK, and I can only see it getting worse over the next couple of years. I don’t know anyway personally who’s looking forward to anything, no one expects to be anywhere but right where they are now next year, or the year after or five years from now, just graft away, live month to month, hoping to avoid the dreaded “at risk” letter.

Got to be honest, I’d be tempted too.

Put my name down for a position

If you go then go in a positive frame of mind.

You won’t ride an MTB but that won’t stop you kite surfing, swimming diving… .

You’ll spend Summer rather than Winter indoors, no loss.

There’s no need to set a limit and if you do I’d say aim at five years before thinking again.

Whilst talking with STW about this might help it’s madame P-Jay that you need to convince not even yourself. We’ve found pros/cons lists help in decision making. Sometimes just one thing on the cons list has stopped us doing something but at lot of pros can be hard to ignore.

I am not a fan of the Middle East ex-pat lifestyle. Personally I could never do it. However, I know a few people who absolutely love it.

However, in your situation I would seriously consider it, you already have family there, your options at home are limited and you could add some skills to your CV.

What role would your dad be able to get for you? You may have O&G opportunities in the UK if you do 5 years or so out there?

Is the Mrs keen? If not then it might not go well but if she is then it adds more strength to the decision.

Think of it as purely a means to an end.

The hard part of O&G expat lifestyles in that in order to properly “do” the lifestyle you have to spend money (sometimes plenty of money) and so the grand plan of saving it up to retire early etc, etc. is really tough. I work in O&G and I’ve seen it a few times.

So if you can convince yourself that it’ll work and that you can save money then it seems like a sensible choice….

We’d be living in a compound, surrounded by a high wall and armed guards “just in case”.

**** that shit.

You seem to know the downsides to going, so if you go it will be with full knowledge of what you’re signing up for. If you can stick it for 3-5 years it’ll make a huge difference to the rest of your life.
In your position I’d go, but, like you, I would probably hate it.

Do it!
The schools are fantastic (my wife went to one!) and through your parents you already know the lifestyle (good and bad).

We’d be living in a compound, surrounded by a high wall and armed guards “just in case”.

According to some that’s Paris.

I thought about a few yeas ago Oz and UAE but in the end I didn’t, I’ve no regrets either way just chose not to.

Think of it as an adventure rather than a means to an end. You only live once, carpe diem. If you’re expecting it to be hell because it conforms to your idea of hell, it will be hell. If you go expecting to have to rise to challenges, work on fitting in and making a new social life around a new work life, your enthusiasm stands a good chance of carrying you happily through.

I’d go. The UK’s going through a rough patch at the moment and things are going to get a lot rougher before the light at the end of the tunnel.

I used to work in that sector and am an expat, but not because of it. I d go, save the cash and buy property in the uk to return to. Then you have your exit plan when needed. Also, i d be retraining in preparation for a change.

Hey P-jay, I think you’re over analysing!

For me its simple, you have an opportunity, do you want to take it? You even have an opportunity with no risk, you don’t own your house (so no stress with selling or renting), you’ll be working for your old man paying off your debts very quickly. If you don’t like it when your there, get your debts paid off, some cash in the bank and head back to the UK in a year or two.

Life is for living (didn’t someone just sing that?).

Alternatively, keep doing what your doing, always wondering what it would have been like if you’d given it a go.

Got to be honest, thats a whole lot of ramble.

I’d make it more succinct:

Dads a Big Wig in Oil, wants to get me in, will pull stings etc. etc. Salaries amazebalz, Wifes a Nurse so should settle into something easily.. Bahrains Hot, Sunny and a nice place to live..

Then end it with:

See Y’all.

HTH’s

We’d be living in a compound, surrounded by a high wall and armed guards “just in case”. During the unrest a few years ago they surrounded it with Tanks, nice.

Would either of you have to commit to staying there (especially for a period of years as opposed to, say, 12 months) with significant financial/contractual penalties if you wanted to quit early and come back to the UK?

A lot could change out there in a relatively short time, and if you are locked in to a 3 year contract or longer, you could find yourself in an increasingly deteriorating situation and wanting to come back much sooner.

I’d go over there for a week and sus out Bahrain.
You’ll either love or hate it. Then make a decision.

Bahrains Hot, Sunny **** boiling and a nice shit place to live.. but needs must, maybe

FIFY

you are locked in to a 3 year contract or longer, you could find yourself in a increasingly deteriorating situation

I dont think he’s a Bangledeshy builder who will be locked into slave labour!

id be more inclined to do it the way you propose than the way im currently doing it .

i essentially lead two separate lives . 5 weeks in angola on perminant call , 5 weeks in the uk.

its tough on all and not something i consider long term.

oh and AA – the situation depicted above happens to british expats also. know a lass who taught at one of the many english/british schools in Dubai who had to hand over passport on arrival and apply written permission with good reason to get it back for traveling.

Leaving was not easy for her.

You wouldn’t get me taking my family to the middle east for any amount of money.

@AA – You’d be surprised. Have colleagues in Kuwait who have surrendered their passports and they work for a major O&G firm.

Leaving the UK for money… yeah, no problem.
Middle East…no bloody chance. I won’t even go there for business.

I’m in the sandpit now. The weather means we ride here far more than in the UK – 8 months of the year it’s pretty perfect. The mountain-biking is poor but we can now afford to travel to some amazing riding places, and Oman is close and excellent. There’s a massive ex-pat cycling community and a full season of road races.

I’ve been here since 2011 and it has been a great work opportunity. However, we’re all ‘guests’ and for a number of reasons we will never be truly invested, it’s a very transient environment. We’ve been careful not to become too reliant on the money and haven’t attempted to indulge in the ex-pat lifestyle, aside from bike related purchases! We’re saving for our future and actively planning our exit strategy.

As someone said above, for most it’s a means to end… and fine as long as you’re realistic about the pros and cons.

Why not plan to go just for a couple of years and see how you find it?
I’ve a mate in Abu Dhabi right now. The Expat lifestyle and the expats are a slightly rum bunch IMO – a LOT of keeping up appearances so you may find you save nowt and your neighbours are Mr and Mrs Hyacinth Bucket on stilts. Or you may love the sun the big house and big car and being out of the UK and the mess we’re in…

A couple of anecdotes:
1. My mate’s wife asked me to get some festival tickets a month ago – they’re coming back to UK for a few weeks in summer – can I buy them and she’ll Paypal me the money over c£200? Yes, no problem. I buy and then ask for the cash ‘we’ve a small cash flow problem at the moment’…. They have 3 cars, a maid, 4 kids in private school, shop at Waitrose, all the lifestyle they want but couldn’t lay their hands on a spare £200. I don’t mind at all, they’re very good friends but I was more than a bit surprised they’re living that close to the overdraft. He’s an HR Director on an ex-pat package so not suffering in income terms!
2. He was in Bahrain when the Arab Spring kicked off and they had tanks on the streets. He was so concerned it was going to get so messy that he legged it out of the country, putting his kids through a load of stress. All turned out ok in the end but it wasn’t a fun moment…
3. I chatted to a recruiter in Abu Dhabi just after Xmas this year to get an idea how it would be to work there. It’s a police state owned by the Royal Family. They’re benign enough but you have to take care to behave the way they expect and don’t say the wrong thing and you may find you have no decision-making powers as the Family essentially dictate how things will be done…

Obviously your Dad knows how to make the best of it. I’d give it a go. My mate is planning on being out there for 10 years…

I don’t even know why you are debating it. Of course the answer is yes! The life experience alone would make it worthwhile. Think of all the interesting places right on your doorstep that you could go and visit! It would be amazing. Plus with all those sand dunes you would have a legit reason to own a fat bike lol 😉

If your going, go now. The big Oil industry has had its day. Better start training in renewables too so you can transition when Elon Musk becomes president of the world.

I did the same- went to Qatar for 5 years from 2012-16. It had its ups and downs, made some fantastic friends, substituted mountain biking for watersports (its regularly windy in the gulf), had some great holidays in Asia, saved a whole load of money. Just make sure you understand the full package before you go- the expat packages are getting squeezed and if you are working out there and effectively putting your life on hold, it needs to be worth it. My three children got a very good private education at an international school and also became a lot more rounded individuals from having a mix of friends.

Make sure you remember why you are there, avoid the trap of fast cars and holidays and have a goal in mind for saving. Too many people take cheap loans secured on their salary and then are effectively trapped in the country.

Regarding unrest in the area, its a lottery as always, just keep some cash and passports ready to make a quick exit. Apart from driving, the gulf states are statistically very safe, no petty crime, children are safe to take taxis etc.

Happy to answer any more questions.

Not a chance. If I was going to live elsewhere it wouldn’t be in a compound in a country where I had to keep a passport handy for an escape!

Is there anyway you can undo whatever it is you’ve done to make yourself so badly overstretched?
It sounds like you currently have a very healthy combined income, so spent carefully you should be able to live comfortably with some left over to save for retirement/rainy day.

If not, and you’ve truly got yourself into an irreversible mess then go for it imo. If you can stick out 3-5 years without getting sucked into spending the extra money on extravagant stuff then it can get you well back on track whilst being a bit of an ‘adventure’.

Thanks for the feedback everyone, I’m amazed, it is a massively long post. I expected an over-all negative response, but it seems a collection of considered positive responses and a couple of more knee-jerk negative ones.

“over analysing” yeah that’s me, I suffered from Anxiety a lot in the past, it’ been gone for a long, long time but it’s killing me at the moment. I’ve woken to the fact that I’m in a deep dark rut work wise and I’m going to be living month to month, no more than a missed payday away from ruin for the rest of my life if I don’t change something.

In regards to some points – no, I don’t have to surrender my passport or anything like that, if it happens in Bahrain, I’ve never heard of it. Bahrain is a little bit different to the rest of the Gulf in a lot of respects, a lot of the ex-pats, especially in Dubai, do like to live a very flash, over the top lifestyle on borrowed money, being a bad debtor in the middle east is usually an offence punished by prison, that coupled with little or no employment rules meant that when the crash hit lots of young people with all the toys and no money were sacked without notice or pay-off and left with the choice of jumping on the first thing smoking back to their homeland or face imprisonment at the first missed payment, so they left their leased 911s in short stay car park and did a runner. I assume that’s the reason behind that.

Whilst working in the O&G industry, my Dad is the head of the training department, I would be working as a trainer – it’s part of Bahrain’s plan to diversify away from O&G and train Bahrainees in Management and business skills, that’s sort of my background, although I’ve never been a trainer, but my Dad has done it forever so I’d been leaning heavily on him there.

A know a lot of people who “fell into the trap” of the ex-pat life, it’s a old tale, earn loads, spend loads, spend more, deep down a lot of them are spending too much because they’re trying to compensate for being there in the first place, nothing says “I’m doing the right thing” by boring your mates back home with endless FB pics of Porches, Holidays and “7 star” hotels. – my parents ‘sort of’ fell into a trap, they still live in the bungalow they were given to live in 15 years ago, my Dad has been day dreaming about a Ferrari for 15 years, he still drives a Hyundai 4×4, but they paid for my Sisters education and taking her out of the 8 kids to a class results factory and back to the 30 kids a class Welsh Comp was the sticking point, my Sister was straight As (and quite child-like) at 15 whilst her old class mates were dodging pregnancies and generally **** up (like I did) as above, super degree now, should do much better in life workwise than I did. I would suspect my Parents are worth about £1m now in Assets and Investments, about half of that is the house they keep here, bought for £130k now £400k and a couple of flats that bought and rent out, they’ve never made them a penny, but my Dad was able to pay the mortgages on all 3 with his salary.

Personally we’re not flash people, I don’t covet Audi’s or 50″ TVs – hell I couldn’t justify a £300 wood fired pizza oven, would that change? I don’t think so. Travel would be the thing we did more of, but without airport tax and being half way to Oz and Asia that’s not such a hard thing to do.

As this thread shows, middle east isn’t exactly everyone’s cup of tea. Our parent company used to have significant presence in Saudi (then we got sold) but you couldn’t get me there for love nor money.

How old are the kids? Doing it for a few years means two upheavals for them and their education. Either do it or don’t do it, don’t pick both.

There’s a good chance a lot of the extra salary will get spent while you are there. Then you get stuck there because you can’t find something comparable back home.

If you really need it, can you do 6 weeks on 6 weeks off? Or just keep it as a back up plan for if your current role goes?

I’ve done the 6 & 6 rotation thing and I’d only recommend it for young people with limited ties as it’s really disrupting otherwise. While you’re away life goes on and when you’re back life still goes on. If people have a routine for football / dance etc then it doesn’t get switched every 6 weeks. You can end up feeling a bit surplus to requirements.

as i said above – id avoid the rotation thing. I am actually finding it worse than ad hoc – ive always traveled with work since i left uni and as far as jobs go the rotational aspect of my current job is a Bollocks.

A 6×6 or 4×4 works for some, not for others.

fifeandy – Member

Is there anyway you can undo whatever it is you’ve done to make yourself so badly overstretched?
It sounds like you currently have a very healthy combined income, so spent carefully you should be able to live comfortably with some left over to save for retirement/rainy day.

If not, and you’ve truly got yourself into an irreversible mess then go for it imo. If you can stick out 3-5 years without getting sucked into spending the extra money on extravagant stuff then it can get you well back on track whilst being a bit of an ‘adventure’

Yes, we’ve acknowledged we’ve really screwed up our commitments this summer, and we have a workable plan for Sept that will reverse the trend slightly, but it will be going in the right direction.

But I don’t think we’ll ever be comfortable without doing something drastic, we’ll never be more than a missed payday away from disaster.

Before my Daughter was born we owned almost nothing, still don’t – we’re technically insolvent, but we had a month of my take-home pay in savings and we could pay the bills and all our commitments one a single one of our income’s forever if we wanted to, but that’s all changed now.

If I go to work tomorrow and the boss says “sorry lads, the VAT man has closed us” or “I can’t afford to keep you” etc, the first missed payment will be within a month, then that’s it – yeah I’m wise enough to work with creditors etc to avoid defaults and CCJs etc, but even “agreement” notices are enough these days, we wouldn’t get a mortgage for another 3 years, probably 6 – it’s a lot at risk.

It’s no to the rotation thing, it’s not offered and wouldn’t suit.

Mum suggested wife and kids stay here and I work there. Mum did 6 years Bahrain, a few years term time only in Bahrain, a few years 50-50 and now it here 70% of the time, approximately.

I couldn’t do that, as much as this is about doing the best for for my kids, I think me being home and money worried would be better for them than Skyping Dad every night and seeing me 2/3 times a year. Add the extra cost of running 2 homes and travel etc it would become a means to an end.

Hello from Muscat.

It’s not for everyone. I do a month on, month off. I’m still finding my feet but wouldn’t rule it out without taking a trip. Good luck.

Yes, I have left twice for specific opportunities and would do sp again. One career regret I have is not working abroad enough.

As for Bahrain it’s one of the livable Gulf States. A good mate of mine from Singapore has just relocated there and is enjoying it. You make of it what you will. Its close enough to Europe to be able to visit/hokiday easily and you are also close to India and Asia for hokidays too. As for saving money you have to be disciplined and insure you do put money by, as you say could be an excellent move for you and give you that house deposit and more you are looking for. I wouod agree its best to go with the family for personal as well as financial reasons