Inspired by another thread.

‘Ale’ and, especially when preceded by ‘real’ – conjures images of a tubby chap in a ‘hilarious’ beer-related joke t-shirt and a leather waistcoat banging on about how Twattingtons Old Cockstrop isn’t the same since they moved the brewery in 1954.

conservative… It just sounds exactly like the opposite of progress

degloved isn’t the most pleasant

I’m a real ale drinker.

Artisan.

Just NO!!

Anyone who uses it before the words beer or bread deserves to be abducted by masked men, driven to a bleak, desolate location, slowly tortured, then buried in a shallow grave on the moors

And IHN … that thread made me think much the same. The landlord of my local put a note up at the entrance to say that far from getting a discount, CAMRA members would incur a 20% surcharge for everybody else having to endure them.

Artisan.

– see ‘craft’ too. Same shit.

“Bake” as a noun, adjective and verb.

“Maker”

Ample.

I’ll be the judge of your portion sizes, thank you.

“Blues Night”

of nights in the pub: fret board **** wannabe’s plying dirge blues to an audience of chubby accountants nodding along in cardies nursing a half of IHN’s real ale all night….

Hell is indeed, other people.

Low calorie/lite/diet. If I wanted to get charged more for less food, I’d be a **** idiot. If I wanted to eat healthily, I’d be eating something less pie like.

+1 for artisan and craft

Literally, when used unnecessarily. ‘It was literally 5 o’clock when I got home’ As opposed to what? Metaphorically?

Haitch.

It’s the mispronunciation of the eighth letter of the alphabet, which is neatly found in the dictionary under “aitch”.

It’s like fingernails down the proverbial blackboard, though conveniently also instantly marks out its user as an imbecile and someone to be avoided. I mean, even those arch manglers of the English language – Americans – manage to get this one right.

Tomhoward +1

It gets used all the time in the office for emphasis. I cannot stand it and will often reply “literally?” to those who do it.

I’m a real ale drinker.

In the interest of full disclosure, I should add that I like drinking the kind of beer to which the description ‘real ale’ applies. It’s the term that itches my shit.

Straw man! Ooh i’m going to undermine you now by using the term ‘straw man’ because i’m so **** awesome at arguing. Well on the internet anyway…..

Piss off dweeb, I bet you got bog washed at school!

*I know its 2 words but who ever goes by the rules on this forum.

“Personal Development”.

Oh, oh, I’ve thought of another

‘Pop-up’. You have a pork sandwich van, not a Pop Up Pulled Pork Hacienda

“Personal Development”.

*does the smug contractor dance*

Newbie, all the time but especially irks when used as an excuse. ‘I’m sorry I’ve got what you asked me to do wrong, I’m a newbie’

Granulation tissue. Not explaining why. You don’t want me to explain why.

Rachel

“Just”, as in

Artisan.

Just NO!!

Is that even a meme for millennials?

Oh yes, “even”, as in

Is that even a meme for millennials?

.

Meme. Just no. Use a proper word.

“Evolves”, as in “language evolves”. Just no!

“Bake” as a noun, adjective and verb.

As a noun, definitely*. Particularly when preceded by “signature”

(* unless preceded by Steak. Then I’ll accept it)

And even more, nouns turned into verbs. Particularly when done in a crappy way. A recruitment consultant (could it have been anyone else?) recently called me about a job he was trying to fill, i couldn’t speak at the time so he emailed me to ask if we could ‘diarise’ another time. I should have told him to **** off there and them but duly set an appointment in my diary. Which he then didn’t turn up for.

Cockweasel. That’s a word i do like.

Aluminium as mangled the Americans to aluminum. They don’t do it to the myriad of other “ium” elements in the periodic table so why single that one out?

Do when used in a sentence such as “Can you do me two of those” when they mean something like “can you order me…” or “can you supply me with…”. It’s really lazy English.

“Can you do me two lattes?”

“Please may I have two lattes?”

Ggggrrrrrr!!!!!

he emailed me to ask if we could ‘diarise’ another time.

At the risk of defending a recruitment consultant (2016 is indeed a crazy year), ‘diarise’ is an actual verb, not a made up one.

*does the smug contractor dance*

Grr. I used to be able to.

Ooft! Dunno why, this word just annoys me.

forzafkawi – Member
Aluminium as mangled the Americans to aluminum. They don’t do it to the myriad of other “ium” elements in the periodic table so why single that one out?

Wikipedia Etymology
The various names all derive from its elemental presence in alum. The word comes into English from Old French, from alumen, a Latin word meaning “bitter salt”.[79]

Two variants of the name are in current use: aluminium (pronunciation: /?ælj??m?ni?m/) and aluminum (/??lu?m?n?m/). There is also an obsolete variant alumium. The International Union of Pure and Applied Chemistry (IUPAC) adopted aluminium as the standard international name for the element in 1990 but, three years later, recognized aluminum as an acceptable variant. The IUPAC periodic table uses the aluminium spelling only.[80] IUPAC internal publications use the two spelling with nearly equal frequency.[81]

stop
wait
caution
warning
slowdown
arethesetrailsforyou

At the risk of defending a recruitment consultant (2016 is indeed a crazy year), ‘diarise’ is an actual verb, not a made up one.

Well well.

Still a shit word though.

My blood was quite literally boiling when he said it.

“going forward” used like its some sort of business ninja magic

and will often reply “literally?” to those who do it.

same here, many times each day 🙂 latest one ive just had to endure was “my kitchen is literally just a box”
“literally?”
“yes”

wooosh, straight over their head.

“Leverage”

Killed by business around 2003.

“mild OCD” / “a bit OCD”.

You don’t have OCD, that’s an actual psychiatric disorder involving real obsession and real compulsion and genuine psychological distress. You’re just being a fussy arse and want people to think it’s not your fault.

remoaners

‘So’ when used by anyone to start a sentence

‘Simply’ when used in a recipe

‘contractor’ when used to replace a valued member of my team

Double post!

Literally, when used unnecessarily. ‘It was literally 5 o’clock when I got home’ As opposed to what? Metaphorically?

no, practically.

‘contractor’ when used to replace a valued member of my team

You mean I wouldn’t be a valued member of your team? I’m sad.

I’ll cheer up when you sign my invoice though.

“Hand Cut” crisps. Why bother telling is that? Tell us if they are cut with laser beams in an underground lair, but not if they are cut by somebody on minimum wage who has recurring nightmares about infinitely big piles of potatoes.