but I’d hazard

I’d hazard that any argument about the perpetrators of sex crimes isn’t relevant in this case at all anyway – it’s just two 13 yr olds discovering their sexuality and frankly being selfish about how they go about it in not showing respect for their peers, parents and teachers.

I think we need to refer back to the OP and his suggestion of Bombers – for the both of them needing their heads banging together rather than the other banging they are doing…

THanks all for your comments, particularly those with genuine knowledge of the situation.

I’m encouraged that the ‘crime’ as such is not a mandatory offence, because common sense here would suggest that they are both consenting. I certainly don’t have any indications from the girl’s side that she’s being coerced in any way shape or form, from what her parents have said, and as said in the OP no-one wants the lad to have his life ruined by being prosecuted for it. And while there may be a valid discussion to be had over what consent means / whether it can be given at that age / what form coercion can take, I don’t think this is the place when I’m looking for proper advice to assist a mate in need.

The sensible adult conversations are taking place, the issue now is whether they are being listened to. Specifically 1/ as clearly said, being careful to avoid an unwanted pregnancy / disease; 2/ that they (she) won’t look back fondly in years to come about the time she got (insert act of choice, but it’s not necessarily full sex in all cases) behind the bus shelter / on the coach on the school trip, so if they can’t stop it completely at least carry on in an adult way.

Still not sure if the school should be taking action – again, not that the parents are asking them to, or are abrogating responsibility to them to do something – just unsure whether there is a case for turning a blind eye irrespective or not of whether that’s legitimately an option.

@crankboy in particular – what is ‘facilitating’ in this context? Seems consensus is that if they can’t stop them completely both sets of parents (who IMHO are both worried yet at the same time remarkably ‘grown up’ about this) should at least offer some sort of alternative to ‘public’ places; but is that creating another problem for them.

Would have been very easy to just call the police and force the issue but that’s not going to serve anyone well in the long term.

Legalities aside, I wouldn’t know how to handle that one other than “it’s wrong at your age”.

There will no doubt be agencies in OPs area who parents and kids can talk to – but don’t expect them to wave their fingers at them and tell them to stop, they’ll likely explain all the risks both physical, mental and health, give solid fact based advise about staying safe and offer counselling if needed. I only know this as I work indirectly with some youth services agencies – trust me, my daughter is only 2 – but in 11 years time I’d be heart broken to be talking to them about her having sex, but not nearly as much as the ones who need a couple of cans of Cider to face School or visit needle exchanges.

I have to say whilst I waited till 16 (or more accurately waited until the first opportunity presented itself, when I happened to be 16) a small proportion of my class were “at it” at 14, maybe 13 and at least by the standards of FB they all seem to be leading happy, normal lives now.

Pffft. Popped mine at karate camp in Lossiemouth with a 13 year old. I was the same age. No coercion, no pressure, no bullying. Just two humans who thought it might be an interesting thing to do.

Parents involved could be seen as approving/encouraging sexual activity, that’s a pretty dangerous thing to do where 13 year olds are concerned. Tread carefully and fear repercussions.

What does ‘could’ mean? According to who/what? Who has say so? When the options are banning it but then knowing they’ll carry on as they are, or letting them carry on in a grown up way – unless there’s a black and white line that must not be crossed then ‘could’ in this context means SFA.

I know you’re trying to be helpful but on legalities I’d prefer if it could be left to people who REALLY know.

theotherjonv facilitate was my word ” aid abet counsel or procure ” is the legal , what does that mean ? The law says words carry their ordinary natural meaning so what ever a jury decides , neadle exchanges have been argued to facilitate drug supply so the risk where you provide shelter condoms etc to fornicating children would be real .
On consent under 16s cannot consent to sexual touching so any sex act between them is illegal. The consent largely discussed above is actual consent in rape allegations. An under 16 can actually consent to sexual penetration so such an act would not be rape because she or he cansents in fact but would be sexual assault as she/he cannot consent in law.
The offences are absolute in that since the public interest point is whether given an offence has occoured is there any point ( public interest ) in a prosecution. That is a value judgemeprotect to interpretation.
Finally you and your friends probably rightly know what the facts are re consent but be aware as to how they may in future be twisted . one of the examples I quoted above was charged as a rape campaign on the basis of assertions from a consenting partner who enjoyed it but said she only consented because he had a temper and would sulk if they didn’t have sex , verbatim quote from a different case ” I did not realise what he was doing was rape until PC x explained consent to me .” For good reason there is a political drive to take child sex reports seriously , common sense is a great safeguard public interest considerations should protect both children here, but ..

I don’t know the legalities of the having sex part or how to deal with it, but someone needs to have a stern word with them about the consequences of taking photos/vids etc of their acts or whatever kids do these days. I read a while ago that they can be charged under child porn laws for creating/distributing material and that could have worse impact on their adult life’s than some of the other consequences.

Thanks crankboy.

I think the immediate concern about whether they are likely to be prosecuted for what they are doing and so screwing up his / her life ‘legally’ is largely allayed. Thanks to all who provided clarity on that.

What is reputation worth…. debatable? The parents can argue that with her, I think most are clear that in more mature years she won’t necessarily be that proud of her actions, but to an extent it’s her reputation to worry about.

As for facilitating (“aid, abet, counsel or procure”). Tough one. I’d hope in enlightened times that supporting an underage daughter to make sure that if she’s determined to have sex that at least it’s safe wouldn’t be seen as aiding and abetting, and it’s good to know that it’s a judgement rather than a binary issue. You’d also hope that that judgement doesn’t have to get to a trial to decide that, in the same way that stoatsbrother said that police intervention isn’t mandatory as they’re over 13, can they also ‘ignore’ this even if it is technically an offence. or does it have to be reported for CPS or others?