All about breaking the emotional attachment cycle.

When something happens that could get you wound up, stop. Break it down into facts not feelings – you will soon see that the initial reaction was unwarranted and unnecessary. After a while, this becomes second nature and you’ll find it helpful in all areas of life. Total objectivity and emotional detachment under pressure are hugely powerful tools to remain on top of a situation, whether it’s at work, driving or wherever. Although wives tend to hate it when spoiling for a row…….

ski – I’ve tried listening to music whilst riding before, really didn’t like it. Maybe 5 minutes of something soothing before I leave might help though!

Klunk – I’ll try that thanks, but I need to get to the more fundamental issue of why I react like this in the first place. After all, knocking 10% effort off every time I ride isn’t a long term solution 🙂

I know another riding buddies who commutes listen to music with headphones on, while they ride in, not for me, but discussions we have had in the past, about cycle rage, it seems to help them?

I always listen to music. It’s either that or the woosh woosh woosh of shitty cars going past for an hour! I know which I prefer.

I used to lose my temper quite often. Then I realised that these idiots were just spoiling my ride. Nowadays a just take a deep breath, count to 10 and keep pedalling, content in the smug knowledge that as a cyclist I am by default a superior person to the driver.

Sometimes, for a laugh, I blow aggresive drivers a rather camp kiss. Sometimes it winds them up; sometimes they laugh. Either way it amuses me.

I’m not sure what’s changed for me but i’ve calmed down a bit temper wise on the commute, this has somewhat perversely lead to more near misses as i ‘take it easy’ Maybe I need to go back to giving it more beans 😀

IMO (that’s an important bit), a short fuse like that can indicate stress in other areas of life, like work, family etc.

Sorry but whatever is going on elsewhere some half asleep halfwit nearly injuring or killing me because they were fiddling with their radio/ lighting a smoke/ gassing on the phone is going to elucidate the same response as the OP.
But, lucky for me, I have the option of staying off the road for most of my commute.

BTW, riding a motorbike can be entertaining, 6’+, black leather (bulked up with armour), tinted visor – they rarely want to get into a “sorry mate didn’t see you” or similar discussions.

For me it was accepting that I can’t control the situation. I get stressed by life when it is out of my control, having two kids obviously causes me a lot of stress if I try to control things too much, so by making the mental connection that sometimes (most times) you just can’t control things has helped me to let go of a lot of the stress.

On the bike on my way across Bristol every day it has meant that I just let it go, occasionally I shout “Heyyyyy, come on mate!” but not aggressively more of a request to pay attention.

It’s difficult at times though.

Also thanking those that do actually take time to wait instead of making a dangerously close pass helps me; they feel as if they’ve been kind to another road user and can bathe in their glory, you can be happy you encouraged yet another driver to recognise your vulnerability as a road user.

Err, I think you’ll find they HAVE been kind/considerate to other road users, so thanking them should be normal behaviour.

Unfortunately there a number of cyclists who aren’t considerate to other road users, so **** it up for the ones that are. There are certain car drivers who also don’t like cyclists getting in their way and happily use their vehicles to intimidate you.

As a cyclist, you have no chance against a car and a fist waving rant would actually give these people a level of satisfaction, so once you understand and accept that these people are around, I’d focus on keeping out of their way and staying alive.

For me it was accepting that I can’t control the situation. I get stressed by life when it is out of my control, having two kids obviously causes me a lot of stress if I try to control things too much, so by making the mental connection that sometimes (most times) you just can’t control things has helped me to let go of a lot of the stress.

Exactly this Sammy – echoes something I printed out for my team at work when I banned moaning in the office. Told them I either want to hear a suggestion for a workable solution, or nothing at all.

Err, I think you’ll find they HAVE been kind/considerate to other road users, so thanking them should be normal behaviour.

That’s hilarious. However, back in reality…

🙂

Get the bus, clearly you are unhinged.

Plus it’s not like you’re paying road tax is it!

clearly you are unhinged.

🙂

He may well be but who isn’t given the right circumstances…

Get the bus, clearly you are unhinged

I think that may well tip me over the edge completely! 🙂

Besides, getting on the bus it would take me twice as long to get to work. And then I’d be REALLY angry! 😈

I’m calm as on the bike as I’m really out of the traffic and haven’t done any road riding lately.

I was in the car the other day at a t-junction though and I watched 3 cars jump the lights, 2 of them going my way, 1 I have seen to the same there before. I went mental, I would literally have pulled the old git apart and beaten him with his own limbs if I could have got to him.

I think anger is often a displacement thing, I was angry at them for jumping the lights – but more angry about a situation I was out of control of and was in the back of my mind. Deal with the cause and likely you’ll deal with the overall problem.

I might still kill a red light jumper one day though!

It’s cars.

If someone bumped into you on the street both of you would be all apologies. Try to remember that it’s just people, talk to the person, not the car

That’s because someone bumping into you in the street won’t cause you any harm. And few are prepared to accept that their driving is anything less than perfect.

Prozac.

davidjones – I had considered that (seriously). I wondered if my anger was in fact a symptom of mild depression. Hmmm….

I wondered if my anger was in fact a symptom of mild depression.

Possibly.

This might have been covered already (not read entire thread), so apologies if that’s true.

Getting angry is part of your natural ‘fight or flight’ response. Nothing wrong with getting angry…when it’s appropriate. And of course it’s how we react when we are angry that really matters.

What triggers anger? Usually feeling threatened. So if you can work on removing the threat, you can dispense with the anger.

How do you remove the threat? You remember that we’re all just people, and that no-one is as important as you. Just as no one is as important as me to me. Because I’m the most important (not to mention awesome) person on the planet, no-one, not a single person, is a threat to me.

Sure, someone could be a threat to my physical well being, but they aren’t a threat to ME, the inner me, and that’s the part we are most scared of getting hurt.

Treat everyone else as if they are young, mentally impaired, or just having a very bad day. They aren’t as awesome as you, they’re not perfect, cut them some slack.

I was diagnosed as having suffered serious bi-polar disorder since early childhood a few years ago. Had a year long session of CBT as part of my coping treatment. Wow. Just wow.

Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience – I just remember that quote

If somebody has annoyed me, I just do my best to ignore it and get on with my day. Since if you start getting tied up about it and even more-so swearing and shouting at the div, then you’re spending precious minutes of your life on some eejit.