My mother died of cancer when my son was 6 months old. My dad died when he was 2 years old & 3 days before my eldest daughter was born. As mentioned above, he had no real concept of time/never. He did ask where he was but we said he was in heaven looking down. At 2 he just seem to accept this and life went on. Little kids are very resilient.

Awful news, sorry to hear it 🙁 As M_F said, at least you now have time to say the things most people forget to say. While it’s going to be hard on all, try to make it a time of happiness and enjoyment as far as possible, he wont want his remaining time to be everyone being miserable about it.

Yeah, back in January I went to see dad on the Thursday night. He was in hospital with pneonomia and was using an oxygen mask but he was fine – he was fully expected to make a full recovery. I sat and chatted, as we always did, about rubbish – just footie and the like. I gave him a hug and walked away. I looked back and through the window and he waved back at me, his slightly toothless grin (a couple of dentures weren’t in). A small nagging part of me said to myself ‘please be around to see your grand-daughters’ but I pushed it to the back of my head and told myself not to be silly, not to be the drama-queen.

That was about 9pm. The following morning I got a call from my mum at 9am telling me he was dead.

It still hurts like hell that I was the last relative to see him alive and I never said goodbye properly. Still he went peacefully in his sleep.

Please make the most of the precious time you can still have with your dad and wave him off as well as you can cope with.

well im in a bit better postition now. tho i feel guilty now for some slight relief. just had my chest xray and got taken in for the results right away which was a worry as it was going to take a week but in the circumstances they felt it better to let me know and im all clear .

it feel bad for worrying about myself too but now a can forget that and concentrate on my dad

again thanks all

I can only begin to imagine how you are feeling right now.

I must recommend the Mac site as others have done – as well as support from others who are in or have been in a similar situation you can get loads of practical advice too. I found it a great support last year when J was ill.

Seriously, don’t worry about leaning on people when you think you can’t cope. It’s okay being strong for your family but sometimes you just need someone to be strong for you too!

Sorry to hear your news. I lost my dad 4 years ago. All tha family were there at the time. It was harsh. Then my sister died suddenly in an accident 2 years later. The shock of this loss blew the remaing family members away for a while. It has been a tough couple of years, but thankfully, life is getting back to some semblance of normality now.

You still have time left, time to discuss things, mentally prepare for the inevitable as best you can. The sudden loss of a sibbling was much harder as there was no goodbyes, no preparation, just total shock.

I’d see if you can bring the wedding forward.

I wish you all the best.

Mick, that’s just awful.
Bon courage dude.
SB

ah **** it…nowt to put that hasn’t already been said, its all sound advice and goes to show you are most deffinitly not alone. sadly, a lot of us have been there
you know the score mate, its a ****, but hang in there.
all the best.

Mick – i’m about 7 months further down the line. My dad has mesothelioma as well from the shipyards, was diagnosed last December. Strangely I am typing this lying in my bed at their house in Scotland as i have been coming back every few months to see him and just spend some time. I can’t offer any advice other than its bluddy hard to see him declining and knowing there is nothing i can do about it. Hard. I bring my bike with me and ride a lot, sometimes in tears, just to get it out and let me enjoy the time i have left. Its sh1t, its life though. Best of luck and email in profile if you want any recent tales – treatment etc etc