Came back from skiing trip this weekend, battery is completely flat in the camper van left on the drive.
Just trying to jump start it now from the missus’ Polo but nothing is happening. No sound at all when I turn the key, not lights on, not even the alarm wailing away which I’m sure happened last time I jump started a car 12 years ago.

I’m guessing the Polo might not have enough oomph to start the van, but even if it didn’t I would have thought the electrics in the van would jump into life.

any suggestions?

Give the polo a few revs – try 3000rpm ish.

Also – you are putting the cables on the correct terminals arent you?

Leave the polo running for 10-15 minutes with it connected to the van.Make sure the jump leads are well connected at both ends, it sounds like a poor connection at one end could be the reason it’s not cranking.

Also, just a thought – make sure you are using the T5 keys, not the Polo keys??!

make sure you have heavy duty jump cables.

Recommend you get a beefy enough battery charger to cope with the capacity battery you have in your van and charge it overnight.

Had a similar situation with my T4 – corolla would not turn it over.

Are you sure the battery is flat and its not something like the starter solenoid not kicking over?

If you leave it long enough it will charge the T5 battery to the point where it can start itself….

Should be good enough to jump it, I managed it to jump start my Iveco Daily with a 1.2l Punto. As above, leave it running for a while to charge, also, some cheap jump leads (like mine) are shockingly bad, under heavy load mine have a huge voltage drop which means they are only really giving the dead battery a trickle charge rather than a boost.

Check the connection as above. Rub the live over the live battery terminal, no sparky sparks then poor connection. And yes it should put life into the electrics, stereo, interior light at a minimum!

+1 for heavy duty leads.
Makes a massive difference.

+1 for large 418, I managed to jump start a Tranny from a civic using £3 B+M leads just run car connected to van for 5-10 minutes with good connection before trying to start.

kinnel,
What a reaction from you lot. Loads of good suggestions, turns out large 418 was right with this:

it sounds like a poor connection at one end could be the reason it’s not cranking.

I’d connected the black to the suspension swing arm since that was about the only bit of “heavy duty non painted metal” that I could get at on the van. It would appear the swing arm is unpainted and heavy duty but isn’t connected to the main chasis by anything conducting.
I put the croc onto the engine instead and off it went.

Apologies to anyone in WA15 who was awoken by the noise of the alarm going off.

Most folk connect it to the battery !

Not if you own a transit, battery’s under the seat!

Most folk do indeed just connect it to the battery, until you hear from someone who’s had a battery explode in their face 😯

I’ll always try a couple of engine parts, I’ll only reluctantly do the final battery connection direct if I’m not having any luck on the engine etc.

I always go live to battery and neutral to earth on the chassis…

Very quick google and first hit: Halfrauds would agree…

One piece of advise with any jump starting is don’t leave the ignition on when you connect the jump leads… it can cause a rather large power surge and damage an ECU (read: expensive swearing session)

as the OP’s found manufacturers spend thousands developing clever rubber bits to isolate the suspension arms from the rest of the car to avoid Noise, Vibration and Harshness.

I’ve always tried to go to for a convenient ferrous engine part but on modern cars with encapsulated engines the battery earth is often the only bit that’s both unpainted and accesible.

+1 For engine earth.
Engine lifting eye normally best connection point