Viewing 34 posts - 1 through 34 (of 34 total)
  • I've noticed, from time to time, about this forum…
  • MrWoppit
    Free Member

    … that some contributors have something called “The Wife”, which seems to regulate their freedom of movement and/or acquisition of desirable items on what seems an irrational and random basis.

    Is this the result of an illness, or is it some sort of undesirable attachment bolted on because of misdemeanours or the like?

    (Puzzled, Batchelorland).

    fasthaggis
    Full Member

    that some contributors have something called “The Wife”, which seems to regulate their freedom of movement and/or acquisition of desirable items on what seems an irrational and random basis.

    Not if you find the right model

    titusrider
    Free Member

    I have one of these wife thingies and it doesn’t seem to be problem ive encountered either

    (well maybe slightly when buying ‘our’ car but I can forgive that 🙂 )

    Fresh Goods Friday 696: The Middling Edition

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    surroundedbyhills
    Free Member

    Upgrades are available if your’s malfunctions or incompatibility of Lifestyle software becomes the issue.

    mrblobby
    Free Member

    A delicate and tricky wife bypass operation can often be performed, where desirable items can be diverted directly to “the shed”.

    jekkyl
    Full Member

    I think it’s not a case of asking permission to buy things or go out but more a case of out of respect for your life partner, not making a selfish decision for yourself which may impact on their life before proceeding. Child care and housework etc to take into account before cycling can commence.

    mikewsmith
    Free Member

    Upgrades are available

    If all else fails there are newer models available but I hear they require frequent work and soon develop the issues in the original….

    bigblackshed
    Full Member

    My beloved has always been known as The Wife. She did take exception to it in the early days of our marriage, but in recent years has really grown in to the role.

    In all seriousness She doesn’t stop me doing or going anywhere, She just makes me stop and think about things first. If I was a “happy” single chap, I’d have the most glorious pile of wonderful things, but not a pot to piss in. I’d also resemble Tom Hanks in Castaway. Complete with a “Wilson”.

    Junkyard
    Free Member

    The general sexual fun times makes up for it IME

    TBH none have ever massively restricted me or tried.

    khani
    Free Member

    If we didn’t invent the thing called ‘a wife’ we’d still be sitting in caves chewing on bones…
    On the plus side we’d never have to endure an Opera..
    Mmmmm…

    D0NK
    Full Member

    TBH none have ever massively restricted me or tried.

    JY you’re obviously just a wild stallion who cannot be tamed.

    Searches youtube furiously for horse mane/timotei advert amalgamation

    edit best I could manage

    beefheart
    Free Member

    It’s better if you can borrow them from other people.

    alibongo001
    Full Member

    Always fun to introduce them as the current Mrs Alibongo.

    They love that!

    MrsToast
    Free Member

    I have a husband. \o/

    After reading some of the threads on here, I feel like I’m failing in my wifely duties. I tell him to buy bikes, because he’s a fully grown man, we have the money (most of the time…) and bikes are fun. That said, I am hankering for a shed – seven bikes (only two of which are mine) and a spare frame (plus his habit of tyre hoarding) is making the utility room a bit cramped.

    MrsToast
    Free Member

    I’m not saying I’d swap my husband for a shed though, just to clarify.

    brakes
    Free Member

    what seems an irrational and random basis

    I can confirm that it is not irrational, nor random but designed to appear so. it is cold, calculated and complex. its aim is to neuter and control – for not other reason than to fulfill a need to be evil.

    Junkyard
    Free Member

    JY you’re obviously just a wild stallion who cannot be tamed.

    Ask your wife 😉

    I do need to be tied down

    I am BS on the internet about my sexlife ……I am Hora and I claim my £5.

    mikewsmith
    Free Member

    Junkyard – lazarus

    raise from the dead does it 😉

    slowoldman
    Full Member

    Mrs SOM is happy for me to do whatever I want – as long as she can be involved. That of course means any pastime immediately costs double.

    Do note that when acquiring a wife size is important – just as in wheel size, though larger doesn’t necessarily mean faster it normally makes for a smoother more comfortable ride.

    rOcKeTdOg
    Full Member

    Mrs Toast – Member

    I’m not saying I’d swap my husband for a shed though, just to clarify.

    how about a brick built “workshop”?

    crikey
    Free Member

    Mr Woppit, if you lie on one arm until it goes numb, you can guess the rest…

    AdamW
    Free Member

    I have a husband. Same rules. I just hope he doesn’t turn into his mother as he gets older! 😀

    jambourgie
    Free Member

    Mrs SOM is happy for me to do whatever I want – as long as she can be involved.

    CountZero
    Full Member

    Sounds like Woppit doesn’t have wife problems like a previous, highly amusing poster.

    jes
    Free Member

    I once had

    1 x wife and 1 x bike

    I now have

    0 x wife and 9 x bikes

    No implied connection just stating the facts 🙂

    twinw4ll
    Free Member

    Because some blokes are sad soaps who let their wives choose how the home is decorated and when it needs to be decorated.

    Often can be observed on programs like Grand Designs.

    Then there are the blokey blokes who decide when the home needs decorating in the way they see fit. Which is, where i come from a cursary wipe over with a damp rag at 10 yearly intervals.

    It’s because of the fairer sex that some people have en suites, conservatories and daftest of all islands in the middle of the bloody kitchen.

    thehustler
    Free Member

    for ‘the wife’ please also search under ‘enjoyment police’

    I haven’t got a wife, I’ve got a stoker.

    A tandem requires a far higher level of trust and commitment than a marriage.

    nicko74
    Full Member

    If all else fails there are newer models available but I hear they require frequent work and soon develop the issues in the original….

    This is appalling – surely the warranty is extended from the life of the replacement?! Pffft, lifetime warranty means nothing these days…

    maccruiskeen
    Full Member

    Sounds like Woppit doesn’t have wife problems like a previous, highly amusing poster.

    Ahhh, memories

    jekkyl
    Full Member

    LOL@ Jes.

    I do have to admit that having a wife brings some completely pointless things into your life. Cushions on the bed & curtain tiebacks furinstance, serve absolutely no purpose beyond aesthetics, but you know keeps her happy.

    cfinnimore
    Free Member

    I got the missus into bikes.

    I have a bike room, she has a bike room, never the twain shall meet.

    rogerthecat
    Free Member

    My FPO is brilliant.

    mrmonkfinger
    Free Member

    mrs toast

    I am hankering for a shed – seven bikes (only two of which are mine) and a spare frame (plus his habit of tyre hoarding) is making the utility room a bit cramped

    nine, only three of which are mine, don’t all fit in the shed, and two of hers have now annexed the conservatory

    point being, having a shed will just increase the number of bikes, not make things less cramped in the house

Viewing 34 posts - 1 through 34 (of 34 total)

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