So I’m stuck in the US over the weekend travelling between sites. That is not the reason for my rage.

I’m in the Sheraton Meadowlands which is near some football stadium (or something). There’s a game today so the hotel was crammed to the gills last night with partying fans. The nice group next to me finally shut up at 3:30am. That is not the reason for my rage.

So I got up (turned the TV and stereo on full volume) and went for breakfast. My usual server saw me and took me to my table. I ordered the buffet as normal. The sausages weren’t cooked properly – I’ve seen less anaemic flesh at a sci fi conference. That is not the reason for my rage.

The reason is as follows. There’s an important part of my day – the first dump. It’s a man thing I know.

So after breakfast I went to the loo.

WHY do American loos have such high water levels? I mean you can barely dare dangle in there for fear of wetting your chattles.

You get constant splash back.

And, if you’re not careful, you get a wet hand trying to clear up afterwards.

I travel all over the world and by far and away the US bog is the most stupidly designed.

It spoilt my morning.

I really don’t know how to answer that

a sheet of fresh bog roll floating on the surface of the water prevents splashback

I remember the public bogs in TI Dallas having around a half inch gap so you could be seen in there. I had to hunt around the factory till I found one in the basement that you could lock.

It was the only one I could use. 😯

DD – they’re like that in the BA lounge in SF airport too. I was getting changed in there one day (wanted lose cotton clothes for the flight home) and was stark rollock naked except for my socks.

Suddenly got an odd feeling and glanced around to see someone peering at me through the gap!

Told him to **** off and carried on getting changed.

These adventures only ever seem to occur in US bogs!

If you place sheets of toilet roll on top of the water you will avoid the splash back.

I travel all over the world and by far and away the US bog is the most stupidly designed.

I take it that you’ve never been to Germany?

Has anyone ever been at work and gone for a shit and then bent over to wipe your ass only to have your tie half dipped in shitwater and pish.
Not that it’s happened to me or anything, just wondering 😯

I travel all over the world and by far and away the US bog is the most stupidly designed.

I take it that you’ve never been to Germany?

Or Libya. Yuk

Wet hands? Wet tie? How on Earth do you lot, erm, clean up?

Wet hands? Wet tie? How on Earth do you lot, erm, clean up?

It’s not the method it’s the stupid bogs here. The water level is about 2 inches below the seat. There’s just no room to manouvre.

It is fair to say I’ve not been to Libya.

I stand up to wipe my arse. No wet hands.

yodagoat – Member
I stand up to wipe my arse. No wet hands

Any tie dipping?

I once saw a “How they make things” type programme on the Discovery Channel. It was about how bogs are made, and was fairly US centric. There was great concern that environmental regulations had stopped the manufacture of 25 gallon flush cisterns or some such, so the whole hydrodynamics had to be redesigned.

At one point there was a bit on “However, in Yuuurp they’ve been flushing with less water for years…”. The Americans were shown a completely standard UK style bog. They were absolute disgusted, wondering aloud at how could it ever be hygenic to not shit into a giant lagoon of water.

Three_Fish – Member
I take it that you’ve never been to Germany?

Shelf toilets, nuff said. Bloody brown trout sits there like a beached whale……

For my money you cant beat crapping outside, in a hole in the ground, in the middle of nowhere.

I think our German friends like to have a look at their poos before flushing.

The water level is about 2 inches below the seat. There’s just no room to manouvre.

No room for error either, one flush of a US blocked toilet is enough to sent it the toilet contents cascading over the rim.

deadlydarcy – Member
I think our German friends like to have a look at their poos before flushing

And they like to pee on their wives

I spent 6 weeks installing some snack food machinery in Hebron back in ’91 where the toilets (a hole in the floor with a basket for the paper) absolutely stank and where in direct line with the flavoring drum. urgh!

sweepy – Member
For my money you cant beat crapping outside, in a hole in the ground, in the middle of nowhere.

Yes there’s something pleasing about the steam.

Bloody brown trout sits there like a beached whale

Bloody? I’d get yerself to a doctor pronto mate. 😯

I think our German friends like to have a look at their poos before flushing.

Could be helpful in detecting signs of intestinal worm infestation. I bet our Tuetonic Chums are less wormy than us prudish scatophobic Brits…

S’only what you ate earlier, just a bit squashed and fermented. Nowt to be frighted of.

I think our German friends like to have a look at their poos before flushing.

That is true. And very sensible. How else can you check for digestive tract problems or parasites?

I guess Americans just don’t care if they’ve got worms.

EDIT: beaten to it.

fermented

You have carbonated alcoholic poo?

How on earth do you dip your hand in the water or your tie? Waht on earth are you doing? Neither should be anywhere near