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  • I've found a place to hide bodies….
  • esselgruntfuttock
    Free Member

    In my garden, like Fred West only without any digging.
    Having a re-hash of the garden, new paving etc. I moved a big pot which was surrounded by slate & found it was on a manhole cover (been here 18 months & never had the need to move it till now) Lifted manhole cover to find a big **** off hole about 10′ diameter & 6-7′ deep! We thought it was a drain till we took the top off. Me & the guy who’s laying the paving nearly fell in! Looks like it’s a soakaway for the whole street.
    If anyone needs anything hiding, i know just the spot.

    robinbetts
    Free Member

    Not much good as a hiding place, now you’ve posted it’s location on the Internet!

    Edit: is it wide enough to fit a bike? You could keep it in there, good security if thieves can’t find it!

    RealMan
    Free Member

    hole about 10′ diameter

    is it wide enough to fit a bike?

    😳

    bassspine
    Free Member

    the fall-out shelter at Pooh Corner? 😉

    tazzymtb
    Full Member

    we always used* a Velcopan green waste shredder, a mini engine once went through in the waste stream and it just made a bit more noise and reduced it to 50p sized bits.

    the body will just end up mixed in with all the other organics in the waste and make a lovely compost.

    * purely hypothetically

    Cutting it up and double bagging it in with asbestos waste for landfill would also be rather effective.

    Can I use your big hole as a back up 🙂

    RealMan
    Free Member

    yunki
    Free Member

    I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies’ digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don’t want to go sievin’ through pig shit, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, “as greedy as a pig”.

    brakes
    Free Member

    I reckon you’d get 60-70 bodies down there whole

    tazzymtb
    Full Member

    I reckon you’d get 60-70 bodies down there whole

    you could probably do a small sized village with aid of food blender

    sweepy
    Free Member

    You’d get a fair sized cannabis farm in there.

    nickjb
    Free Member

    If you want sensible solutions it’s unlikely to be a soak-away. Would be perfect for a rain water harvesting system.

    big_n_daft
    Free Member

    it will be a surface water attenuation tank most likely

    when it rains heavily it will fill up

    esselgruntfuttock
    Free Member

    it will be a surface water attenuation tank most likely

    when it rains heavily it will fill up

    It rained a very lot here last week but it looks quite dry to me.
    Anyway, she’s in there now.
    Your’e all invited to my barbeque, spring, next year.

Viewing 13 posts - 1 through 13 (of 13 total)

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