Just found my first – it’s a corker…

No… Its a conker! 😉

Your coat, sir?

Doffs hat to captaincarbon 😆

Looks good enough to eat.

Think nothing of it sir, glad to be of any assistance!

Why do I , at aged 44, still have a compulsion to pick them up though?

the first time I got in proper trouble at primary school it was conker related.

My brother and I used to collect conkers from a majestic old tree in our field, pick the finest and drill them with a hole and thread with string. Used to take them into the school and sell them in a cardboard box during break time: 1p for a conker, 2p with a hole, 3p with a hole and string. I could have been the next Richard Branson you know!

At the end of break any conkers left we’d sling down the playground shouting “Stamps!”*. Used to make a right old mess.

In the following lesson I was called out by the deputy head who presented me with a dustpan and brush and pointed me out to the yard. 😳
The shame.
And that is why I have never felt the need to riot in London.

* if you dont understand this then I pity you 😉

A soggy copy of Fiesta? You jammy bastard!

= Stoner

I was a bad’un and no mistake.

Why do I , at aged 44, still have a compulsion to pick them up though?

Unfeasibly shiny. That’s my excuse.

I’ve been known to stop mid ride to fill my camelback/jersey pockets with decent conkers “for the kids” 😳

On a slight tangent, picked up lots of bright green acorns on the way back home from school with the kids…. Little Miss MCTD was busy taking the “hats” off them to save the squirrels having to do it!