I can create flow diagrams that organise how a business runs and manages its processes. I can include IT systems and human processes. I can tie it all together and deploy it, and the staff will run the business according to it.

Then I can open up my laptop wherever I am in the world and see what’s going on – how many jobs are outstanding or held up and how much work is being done per day. I can see where problems or inefficiencies are, I can change it around and re deploy it, and the people will change how they work.

All from this little window on my computer. Bloody amazing.

Not as amazing as being able to watch a video of a baby panda sneezing while I’m on the cludgie.

wow you can ask people to do stuff from a computer
Please stop 😛

Not as amazing as being able to watch bencooper watching a video of a baby panda sneezing while he’s on the cludgie.

I don’t mean ASKING people to do stuff.

I can change a flow chart and people will be doing things differently immediately. Like controlling ants in a colony..!

you run an ant colony …I knew you were important but I did not realise you were that important

Forgive me

molgrips – Member

I don’t mean ASKING people to do stuff.

I can change a flow chart and people will be doing things differently immediately. Like controlling ants in a colony..!
Posted 2 minutes ago # Report-Post

If only. 😆

Like controlling ants in a colony..!

nice… 😐

You do realise that in films that makes you the baddy…

Not as amazing as being able to watch a video of a baby panda sneezing while I’m on the cludgie

How does it know you are on the cludgie – that’s amazing

so you press a button and people’s jobs change without notice, no contract negotiations, no training, no appraisals….

unless you’re controlling robots i dont understand how the fact you’re controlling humans doesn’t get in the way of such instantaneous control?

You don’t mean you make business process changes without any sort of communications, surely?

Rachel

I can create flow diagrams that organise how a business runs and manages its processes

Go on then, tell us more. It is Fri afternoon after all otherwise it’s going to need to be another CofE thread

How does it know you are on the cludgie – that’s amazing

You know, I considered carefully how to phrase that sentence – failed, obviously 🙂

I can change a flow chart and people will be doing things differently immediately

Changing the ‘lethal fume’ extractors from suck to blow would do that.

[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HLUX0y4EptA&ob=av2n[/video]

I love ant colonies.

How many ants have you got??? and what are their names . . . .

and the staff will run the business according to it.

Of course they will

Ok so I can’t change them from happy workers into robots.. 🙂

Say my business was insurance, I could say.. change things so that all car claims including a foreign party got routed to someone for approval over a certain value, or change the order in which things get done or something.

Not that I’m advocating such megalomania of course.. messing with things on a whim would never be good. It’s just theoretically possible if you set it up that way 🙂

The system is called Business Process Management and it’s very cool.

leffeboy – Member

I can create flow diagrams that organise how a business runs and manages its processes

Go on then, tell us more. It is Fri afternoon after all otherwise it’s going to need to be another CofE thread

It looks like Molgrips has become god, that should read CofM!! 😯

It looks like Molgrips has become god

He sounds more like the kind of manager who thinks powerpoint presentations are the best way to communicate, while everyone else gets on with the reality of making money despite his interference.

Say my business was insurance, I could say.. change things so that all car claims including a foreign party got routed to someone for approval over a certain value, or change the order in which things get done or something.

its just as easy to do this by asking your employees in a meeting, or via email or something 🙂

you are redundant, just like god.

i’m an amollyest

i’m an amollyest

has molgrips been made to disappear by the power of stw? now that has to be more powerful than some fancy pants BPM system 🙂

next thing he’ll be demanding he’s always referred to as Molly instead of ‘molly’…

bet he owns a car with heated wing mirrors too

i dont believe in molly, i believe in SCIENCE!

He sounds more like the kind of manager who thinks powerpoint presentations are the best way to communicate, while everyone else gets on with the reality of making money despite his interference.

Really?

I’m not a manager 🙂

Say my business was insurance, I could say.. change things so that all car claims including a foreign party got routed to someone for approval over a certain value, or change the order in which things get done or something.

My favourite work toy just now is 3d reconstruction from CT scans, starting with the skeleton and then growing the organs and skin back on. Although a demo of a specialist workstation did let me create a flythough of someone’s large intestine, including out the little hole at the bottom.
“so what’s that oh yeah I see ohh that is very cool and that’s what is that what? WHAT? no that’s not cool, that’s gross”

, and the staff will run the business according to it.

Apologies if this already been covered, but.

I speak to people on a daily basis who don’t know the left button from the right button on their mouse. I also work with people who will do anything to try and climb the greasy pole (possibly a euphemism, possibly not) Including balls out lieing and fudging their numbers anyway they can.

IT’s great (really wishing I’d trained as a mechanic)

and the staff will ruin the business according to it.

bet he owns a car with heated wing mirrors too

How the other half live, eh?

They shouldn’t be able to mess up the process really, just individual steps. They go to the system and it says ‘your next job is X, chase the claimant for Y’ or something, then they do it and click ‘done’.

They might not do it, but the process won’t break.

its disgusting.

i’m off to write ‘The Molly Delusion’

but the process won’t break

Your knowledge of IT and business process is quite low.

ooo – an error in the book of molly

no matter how perfectly a system runs, if humans are involved it’ll go wrong. this is a MEDICAL FACT.

imagine if i was one of the workers at the other end of mollys game of SimCompany, molly tells me to click ‘done’ and i click ‘close’ and go for a chat with busty Julie in reception…. then where are we….. BANKRUPT, that’s where we are, all because molly decided he could tell me what to do without shaking my hand or tickling my testicles first.

Work Flows – not that amazing, just lots of session state management, so you can re-order forms and monitor progress as a result.

Hideous CMS systems built in random Western European countries, sitting seething swearing at a screen all day as for the 100th time you have loaded the page and there is still no sign of the new content you have added, and also no explanation of why – now that is REAL IT.

My weekend looks like it is going to be shit already!

Wishing I was a plasterer or plumber right now! One big redundancy would see me re-training quick as you like.

Your knowledge of IT and business process is quite low.

No, it’s not. You don’t really know exactly what I am talking about, and I am not going to explain it all on here cos that’s too much like work 🙂

Toby, this is more sophisticated than that, otherwise I wouldn’t be impressed 🙂

Your knowledge of IT and business process is quite low.

i’m so glad mine is, i don’t think i could stand the excitement. 🙄

From Wiki….

Business process management (BPM) is a holistic management approach focused on aligning all aspects of an organization with the wants and needs of clients. It promotes business effectiveness and efficiency while striving for innovation, flexibility, and integration with technology. BPM attempts to improve processes continuously. It can therefore be described as a “process optimization process.” It is argued that BPM enables organizations to be more efficient, more effective and more capable of change than a functionally focused, traditional hierarchical management approach.

….none the wiser 😕

Say my business was insurance, I could say.. change things so that all car claims including a foreign party got routed to someone for approval over a certain value, or change the order in which things get done or something.

That’s incredible, particularly when you also spends an inordinate amount of time on an Internet forum

daily basis

That would be daily then. BAN HIM!