Knock KNock
Who’s there?
Nicolas
Nicolas who?
Nicolas girls shouldn’t climb trees

What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot!

What’s brown and sticky?

A stick

What do you call a man with no arms or legs swimming the channel?
Clever Dick.

What do you call a man with no arm or legs hanging on your wall by his pullover?
Art

What do you call a man with no arms or legs in a ditch full of leaves?
Russel.

What do you call a man with no arms or legs in a swimming pool!
Bob.

What the smallest pub in the world?
The Thalidomide Arms….

Frappe, frappe.
Qui est la?
Lors
Lors qui?
Oui….

Knock Knock

Who’s there?

Scott

Scott who?

Scott nothing to do with you.

I’m utterly perplexed at the sheer number of posters here who seemingly don’t understand the concept of a knock-knock joke.

“Why did the chicken cross the road?”

“Umm… who’s there?”

Also, “interrupting cow” is the correct answer.

what’s red and invisible?

No tomatoes

Who’s there?

How do mathematicians deal with constipation?

Work it out with a pencil…

Two fish in a tank.
One says “have you got a license to drive this thing?”

Fish swims into a wall.
Damn.

Green fire exit signs.
I hear they’re on the way out.

to get to the other side

Who’s there?

The lights are on but nobody’s home

Knock Knock

Knock knock
Who’s there
Bigish
Bigish who
No thanks.

Nicholas girls shouldn’t ride bicycles.

Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Wurlitzer.
Wurlitzer who?
Wurlitzer one for the money, two for the show…

Frappe, frappe.
Qui est la?
Lors
Lors qui?
Oui….

Ok, that’s pretty good.

“Knock Knock”

“who’s ther…”

Two budgies on a perch

Budgie #1 says ………can you smell fish ?

Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Isobel.
Isobel who?
Isobel necessary on a bicycle.

Topical but still not funny.

Snowman 1 to snowman 2:

Can you smell carrots?

Goldfish one:where are we?
Goldfish two :in a tank
Goldfish one, cool you drive I’ll shoot.

What dyou call a man with a bit of wood balanced on his head

Edward

With 3 bits?

Edward woodward

Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Hatch
Hatch who?
Gazuntite!

Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock.”
“Who’s there?”
“Philip Glass.

I used to be addicted to the Hokey Cokey, but I’ve turned myself around…. and that’s what it’s all about.