• This topic has 33 replies, 19 voices, and was last updated 14 years ago by hora.
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  • Is there an actual mathamatical eqation to calculate….
  • binners
    Full Member

    The exact likelihood of riding into the back of a car due to the amount of clothing the women in the city centre are wearing?

    I had two or three very close calls this morning and was thinking about mathematically working out my chances of making it in in one piece tomorrow

    vdubber67
    Free Member

    close your eyes – It’ll be safer! 🙂

    BigDummy
    Free Member

    Pervy, pervy binners. Wear some of these:

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    mastiles_fanylion
    Free Member

    I used to work in the centre of York and walked in/out every day. I always made sure I was walking on the side of the road to get a nice view of the lovely lovelies as they all came riding towards me.

    Ahhhhhhh, happy days.

    jon1973
    Free Member

    was thinking about mathematically working out my chances of making it in in one piece tomorrow

    Maybe you should just have a **** in the morning before you leave and get it out of your system.

    TheDoog
    Free Member

    If Woman= W, The Amazing clothing they have on = A, The chances of Not staying on= N, and the Kinetic energy of falling off= K then we factor in the recumbant state on the tarmac as O= Off F= Fallen F= Flat then we can hypothesise the following:
    W+A+N+K = O.F.F
    Simple maths that even Hawking would be proud of!

    BigButSlimmerBloke
    Free Member

    I believe there is, and the end reult is a chart which factors in Q(T), the Quality of the Totty which temporarily distracted you. The chart shows highs at both extreme ends, the Q(T) factor working at both Total Babe (mmmm LOOK at that) and Total Horror (fat bird in a bikini or omigod look at THAT) levels.

    mrmichaelwright
    Free Member

    i find a regular trip to somewhere nice and sunny abroad like Barcelona, Vienna, Paris….well most of Europe keeps the standards higher and makes the UK a far more disappointing prospect.

    IanMunro
    Free Member

    You think you’ve got problems! There’s a higher education fair on where I work, and every 16 year old girl in the county appears to be here, and the temperature is still rising..

    BigDummy
    Free Member

    The Doog scores full marks for creativity, but I’m not sure his equation actually produces a value… 🙂

    TheDoog
    Free Member

    I did have a value and a conclusion but i deemed it modulator unfriendly.

    mattsccm
    Free Member

    6th form college on my way home. Have to drive slowly.
    A nice warm weekend means I’ll have to stick to the family cycle trail. go against the flow and those string tops are nice. Most of the time!!

    BigJohn
    Full Member

    It’s very hard.

    ourmaninthenorth
    Full Member

    I must have timed my arrival back into glorious middle class west Didsbury perfectly last night, as I was greeted at the traffice lights by a pert bottom jogging away from me, and a loving pair of boobies on their way towards me.

    I nearly fell off my bike standing still.

    gusamc
    Free Member

    take care – a friend broke both wrists by driving a motorbike into the back of a van whilst distracted…..

    SiB
    Free Member

    Mrmichaelwright – it has the opposite effect on me coming back home after a spell abroad. I think it must be because when spending a few days on a beach in the sun you see all shapes, ages and sizes in varying amounts of clothing that by the end of my break every woman on the beach is worth a look at, it matters not how they look, they are all women and the female form has got to be admired regardless (with a few exceptions, normally the extremes). I now take this way of thinking with me wherever I go which gives me plenty of warm thoughts, beautiful ladies are everywhere, femininity is beautiful.

    ……..Its lunchtime now, time to get the bike out and go for a gentle peddle (or should that read ‘perv’?) around town to see all the lurverly ladies on their lunch hour, bliss. Young female temps, smartly dressed female CEO’s, bored housewives who dont make much of an effort (not a problem), mutton dressed as lamb – they are all fabulous. Try it, it makes the cycle around town so much more interesting as ‘they’ are everywhere

    TheDoog
    Free Member

    SiB you’ve obviously not been to my town, you’d need eyes like Marty Feldman, one on the women and one on the chavs dribbling over your bike.

    zarquon
    Free Member

    well lets see. I would postulate that the probability of having an accident in such circumstances is basically sinusoidal – i.e. zero in the winter months rising to a peak in the summer months and trailing off. Negative probabilities are for the likes of Douglas Adams so that would have to be a sin(squared function). Ok now JUly and August are, in general hotter than end June (Julian date 181) which would imply some sort of offset, but for first principles leave it at that. Next you would have to define some sort of gayness index call it G, varying between 0 and 1 and also a Babe desity factor B(x) describing the density of Babes per metre square for the area in question. Therefore the probability of falling off in such circumstances would be:

    P(t) = (sin(alphaT))^2*B(x)/G

    where alpha is a constant to get the phasing of the maximum right

    I would suggest that if you have had a previous near miss this could be accounted for by a decrease in the Gayness factor (note that this can never be zero)

    Slow day – I’m cahnging my job and have just got rid of all my management responsibilities 😀

    SiB
    Free Member

    Doog – maybe, but are they chavettes and therefore come under the definition of females??! Thinking about it female chavs are an extreme, forget them, I definitely am.

    Right, shades on, bike ready, I’m on the look out for ‘women next door’ who make a bit of an effort when coming to work, plain Janes that are 100% feminine, cba with extremes such as chavs at one end of the scale and perfect 10/10 who know it at the other end, all females that fall between these two extremes are lurverley and should be proud and hence show off their womanhood

    hora
    Free Member

    I sat outside a bar on Fri night in London watching a Swedish-looking teenager walk past me twice. The secondtime by girlfriend asked me to kindly stop. I can honestly say I wasnt aware that I was doing it! 8)

    molgrips
    Free Member

    Historially, in my case, 100%.

    hora
    Free Member

    i find a regular trip to somewhere nice and sunny abroad like Barcelona, Vienna, Paris….well most of Europe keeps the standards higher and makes the UK a far more disappointing prospect.

    Sad but I agree. In London the girls tend to be slender, well dressed and attractive. The further northwest or northeast the uglier they get.

    SiB
    Free Member

    You’re a brave man hora, very brave.

    hora
    Free Member

    Its true, plus it seems the further north you go the less clothes girls wear on a night out (coughs into bin beside desk). Now I am no looker and I most certainly wouldnt remove my top and walk round a park/Manchester’s streets in a heatwave a la minor street gangmember/with shiny black tracksuit buttoms rolled up nor would I sport off my tattoos in all their splendor like a badge of honour for all the girls to swoon over and all the other blokes to feel scared off by the tattoos fierceness.

    mrmichaelwright
    Free Member

    hora – that’s because none of the ones in London are British. They import them.

    and at least northern girls smile once in a while. Londoners are miserable 🙂

    crikey
    Free Member

    I love this weather, the ladies anywhere are a treat.

    My fave thing when it’s this hot is blowing kisses at old ladies at bus-stops; try it, it adds to the fun and makes them smile!

    mrmichaelwright
    Free Member

    please do not blow kisses at the elderly as a handbag in the nuts often offends

    hora
    Free Member

    and at least northern girls smile once in a while?

    Thats what they do just after they’ve cracked out a loud/rolling and very wet fart.

    Ps. I love sticking my tongue out at ladies when I pass them on the motorway (any age!)

    crikey
    Free Member

    Northern old ladies seem to like it, miserable London ladies… I dunno.

    binners
    Full Member

    Hora – I’m going to tell people what you said then throw you into Piccadilly gardens. Which I should add was a fine fine sight when I strolled through at lunchtime.

    The highlight was a girl in a strappy top who had her ample norks hoiked up so high with a wonderbra I’m surprised she could actually breathe. Or see for that matter 😯

    hora
    Free Member

    The highlight was a girl in a strappy top who had her ample norks hoiked up so high with a wonderbra I’m surprised she could actually breathe.

    I think I would have hyperventilated whilst pointing if I had witnessed that.

    You’ve seen me outside the pub, across between a Meercat and zero-attention span…

    I once did that in a car, beeped and was promptly punched on the side of the head. ‘What’! I said, I thought I knew her! ‘No, (was the reply), she was wearing a very tight/short skirt’ 🙄

    SiB
    Free Member

    PLus northern girls ar a good laugh and actually talk to you, not look down their noses as london girls do. London girls think they are superior, how very very wrong they are. Northern girls sopend their hard earned money on nights out, leggings, cropped tops, tats and fake tan but have a god laugh doing it all whereas london girls spend it on trying to climb the social ladder – very shalow.

    glenh
    Free Member

    hora
    Free Member

    Ah SiB, a fellow generalisor! I always found London girls to be fond of no-strings, casual sex. They didnt want a relationship/number, just carnal fun. Of course, this wasnt me- a ‘friend’ of course.

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