wait until he goes on holiday then get the grass/stones taken up and get the whole lot tarmac’ed and stick up a notice saying the council has adopted it… then record the look on his face on this return!

or set up a rockery garden centre – free supply of rocks for you!

LOL at philconsequence!

Pick up rock and place through windscreen of van….repeat if necessary.

Sounds a bit similar to our lane we have a dodgy dealer opposite who insists on parking his battered van opposite our 70 year old neighbours house even though he has a drive which makes it really difficult for everyone below us to get round- it does bug me massively but as i’ve already had them in court over their dangerous dogs (Ronnie and Reggie ffs!) killing another dog in front of my family and as it doesnt directly affect me I am (trying very hard to) not getting involved- but I do keep thinking I may let his tyres every night for a week or so to make him put it on his drive!

All seems perfectly normal to me. What exactly is your problem?
The one thing that would make me slightly miffed would be to come home and find all my stones painted. 👿

Rearrange them into the shape of a c0ck and balls, cementing them in position 😉

Make an obelisk out of the stones and get your mates round. Wear white sheets over your heads and start chanting around it. When he pops out to see whats going on, sacrifice something.

No?

Put little stick-on eyes onto all the stones. Arrange them into a circle on the grass as if they were having a seance.

some funny answers yes he is a mentalist you cant win an argument with him as he wont be rational over this issue.
Unless you really have to say something to him or react just live with it.

Junkyard is right – so….<sensible head on> the guy is a nutter and you will not resolve the situation without escalating it to beyond the point where a ‘normal’ rational person would wish to go.

One option would be to order Tesco’s deliveries on a regular basis and make sure the driver or yourself involves the police should there be another episode. Banging on the side of a van is probably criminal damage or at the very least threatening/intimidating behaviour and I think Tesco’s would follow all legal routes to make sure their staff are protected! The police may know this guy already as behaviour like this tends not to happen overnight. Alternatively, arrange for a (big) builder to pop round for some house building quotes and make sure they take their truck with them – same result which may or may not require police involvement 😉

Hope this helps.

I must admit we discussed the idea of bringing it up with him after the Tesco episode and decided it wouldn’t be a good idea.

Paint them with anti-vandal paint.

Looks a nice place to live by the way.

Neighbour across from us does a few airport runs, for a local cab firm, and so parks their minibus on the big path by his house sometimes. He’s convinced I reported him for parking it there. (I didnt. Its not obstructing anyone there.). Tried reasoning with him, but heard him say “w*nk$r neighbour” specially loudly while gasbagging with another neighbour. Was obviously meant for me. Its going to come to a head at some point, but I think I’m winding him up by cheerily saying hello whenever I see him.

Take one of the stones, wrap it in brown paper and string, write his name and address on it, stick a stamp on it and lob it through his living room window. It’ll make you feel great 😆

shallow grave, perhaps wait til spring when the grounds softer.

Looks a nice place to live by the way.

Cheers – the view from our extension is across fields to Stainburn 🙂

I must admit we discussed the idea of bringing it up with him after the Tesco episode and decided it wouldn’t be a good idea.

That is the problem MF. As a decent law abiding person you are in effect being bullied. How would you feel if he acted in the same way with your wife and daughters in the car as he did to a Tesco’s driver. Not happy to put it mildly I’d imagine, which is why the police need to be brought in at the next incident to stop his behaviour.

Looks to me like he’s trying to deliberately block the road to prevent people from using it. From streetview by parking his car there and putting the stones in he’s not actually blocking the road but making it a hassle so that nobody else uses that entrance.

Woody – a very good point and worthy of further consideration on action.

Johb – I am sure you are right but everyone uses that entrance as it makes for easier access to the back – perhaps that is why he gets so wound into a knot.

I’ve got a plan….

Arrange the stones in a line and set up mini ramps at either end, some barbies and kens positioned around like a crowd and a remote-control truck tipped on its side as if its crashed after a jump.

Position a ken half out the window and another on the grass with a dollop of ketchup to simulate a nasty accident.

Leave a letter through his door threatening to take him to court to sue him for the accident (which took place on his land and it being obvious no risk assessment was done or insurance provided) if he doesnt pay 32pounds in monopoly money to “The Bank of the Little People who REALLY ****ING LOVE THOSE ROCKS” by christmas.

Position a barbie looking in his bathroom window with a poststick note saying “pay-up!” for effect.

or:

Spend some time drawing angry faces on each rock apart from one thats got a very upset face, put the angry ones in a group all pointing at the sad one thats positioned away from the group.

Video his reaction and put on youtube, send me STW the link. Thanks in advance 😉

You could do all the letters of the alphabet on the silly stones, then every so oftenn arrange them to spell choice words that are no longer acceptable on here ( but are Ok on mumsnet (go figure )).
Invite Ton round , get him to steal Tesco delivery van . He can prolly deliver some fist pie to the mentalist.
Buy a DVD box set of the Mentalist and post it through his door with Happy Chriistmas on it.

Hey!!! What’s a photo of my house and semi precious stones doing on this web site??!!
When I find out who took it I’ll be round to kick there A## with my bare feet!!!

Fight fire with fire…

Spray your genitals with fluorescent paint. Wearing nothing but a balaclava and bracelets, anklets and a necklace made out of strips of raw bacon, and pink stilettos, do a Bollywood style dance to Metallica’s ‘And Justice For All’, on his front lawn. Whilst strumming a balalaika with your scrotum.

Then sacrifice a live suckling pig, whilst chanting in tongues to a life-size model of Rusty Lee, complete with papier-mache head.

Then paint yer buttocks blue, stick a butternut squash or aubergine up yer back pipe, and re-enact R.Strauss’ ‘Salome’ through the medium of modern dance, using no props other than a glass bowl full of Shubunkin.

Finish off with a flourish; defecate the words ‘I Love You’ onto a large piece of card, and leave it on his doorstep.

He will never bother you again.

send over jo whiley… nobody and i mean nobody deserves to put up with her, but maybe just her being at the door will be enough to get him to change his ways

O
M
G

The original question was “is my neighbour a mentalist?” Reading this thread I’m actually far more worried about most of the people on here!

aracer – Member

The original question was “is my neighbour a mentalist?” Reading this thread I’m actually far more worried about most of the people on here!

To the original question … No, he is not mentalist but extremely selfish and stingy to share.

I am afraid there is no way you can change his mind as this sort of people are extremely tight to allow something to be shared. The situation will get worst if he does not get his way.

The solution:

1. Bear with the situation and let him has his way.

or

2. Squash that piece of maggot to jelly …

😈

A guy I worked with used to have a neighbour that would put cones outside his house to save his parking spot and get really annoyed when anyone moved them. They finally got him to see the funny side and stop by replacing his cones with 2in tall toy ones – about 50 of them placed all around his car.

He sounds like a top hat. Some guy near my brothers house lives on a single track road. He has a garden wall then there is about 4 feet of grass verge before the road. He has put scaffold planks in between the road and the verge. He fixed them in with massive tent pegs as I found out when some pillock driving in the other direction thought he would drive right past the passing place and force me into the verge. One of the tent pegs ripped a 2 inch hole in the wall of my tyre

the guy sounds like he has too much time on his hands.

Are the stones trying to protect the edge of the grass? If so there is some logic as tescos drivers would cut it up without a thought.

If not a fruitloop he is definately unreasonable and really shouldnt be trying to show off how hard he is buy walking around in the snow like that.

We have a women at the bottom of the hill on our road who insists on parking on the t junction and would move the car even in the snow. The police came to an accident there and she begrudgingly moved it for 1 night when asked to.

Elfinsafety on the otherhand sounds like a real nut job!

The cone thing reminds me when I used to park in a side street close to Stoke’s ground before the match and one bloke always used to put cones out. Once I got there really early and no cones- so thought I’d park there as it would be funny- got back 3 hours later and ‘someone’ had slashed 2 of my tyres- not quite so funny now eh!

You could call him a woofter. It seems to irritate the hell out of people on here, so I’m sure it’ll work for him…

He does sound a bit unhinged, but at a guess he’s trying to stop people parking on or cutting up his grass, which is understandable. Trying to stop people driving down the road though is a bit OTT though.

I saw him walking around, on our unmade road, some 100 metres from his front door in -6 temperatures in his pyjamas and barefoot

He sounds like a Royal Marine to me. Does he dress up in women’s clothing at every opportunity?

Pieface – Member
He does sound a bit unhinged, but at a guess he’s trying to stop people parking on or cutting up his grass, which is understandable. Trying to stop people driving down the road though is a bit OTT though.
POSTED 2 HOURS AGO # REPORT-POST

Absolutely – that is exactly why he does it. But by THEN parking his big van there it makes access difficult for some vehicles – he is making his own problems.

Report his inconsiderate parking to the police (not 999)

Elfinsafety – you are really quite scary.

Rachel

That is a clear insight into the workings of Fred’s mind. I really would enjoy a night out and a few beers with him 🙂

the patch next to the gable.. can you errect an offical looking sign that states that tescos have requested planning to build an express on it?

Looking at those stones, they look like grave markers to me, I’d be very concerned that he hadn’t buried others who’ve complained in the past.
And elf’s just confirmed all we’ve suspected for years… 😯

I don’t have any problems with my neighbours. 😀